X-Men, Meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 8 up! Complete! The revamp of the story in which the Starr Brothers met the X-Men for the first time! Next: The final battle is here! Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**X-Men, Meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!**

 **Hey folks! L1701E here! I had suffered a bit of writer's block, so I thought it would be nice to look through my older stories and do what I did with "Rising Starrs" and give it a further run-through. This was the very first Misfitverse story I had written so many years ago. Man, how I had evolved since then. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy this new version of the story that first brought the Sensational Starr Brothers to the world, and started a wild, wacky, Misfit timeline!**

 **I will make a bit of a confession, this story was a** ** _nightmare_** **to go through. It was literally the first Misfitverse story I ever wrote. Yes, "Rising Starrs" was the first chronologically, but this one was the first I wrote. And it was...bad. Yeah, it was bad. So, I had to do some** ** _serious_** **work on this.**

 **Disclaimer: Red Witch owns Althea, Xi, and Trinity. I own the Starr Twins, and Marvel owns the X-Men and the ex-Brotherhood.**

Chapter 1: Super Stardom and Dark Rage! Paul and Craig Starr!

 **The Xavier Institute**

 _ **Boom! Boom! Boom! Blam!**_

"Yahhh!" A blonde girl whooped as the robotic arm that was heading towards her exploded. She heard a laser heading towards her. Her eyes shone with mirth, and a small sphere of energy appeared in her hand.

 _ **Boom-Boom. Real Name: Tabitha Smith. Birthplace: Roanoke, Virginia. Affiliation: X-Men, (Formerly) Brotherhood of Mutants. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers: Can create spheres of explosive force of various sizes.**_

"Hah!" She deftly dodged the 'deadly' beam, then tossed her time bomb. Upon impact, the bomb destroyed the laser beam. "Whoo!" She whooped in delight, pumping her fist.

" _Simulation complete!_ " A voice announced.

"Hell yeah, that's how it's done!" Tabitha whooped. "Danger Room! What's my score?!" With a beep, a holographic number appeared in front of her, with the text "New High Score". "Alright!" The X-Men's resident wild child grinned. She heard the hissing of the Danger Room's doors opening. The blonde turned around and saw a teenage boy standing shyly at the door.

He was wearing a gray t-shirt, with a blue workshirt over it and blue jeans. His hair was mostly put into a blond short cut, except for some orange locks on the front of his head.

 _ **Berzerker. Real Name: Ray Crisp. Birthplace: New York City, New York. Affiliation: X-Men, (Formerly) Morlocks. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and abilities: Electrokinesis.**_

"Oh. Hey there, Sparky." Tabitha greeted.

"Hey, Tabs."

"What's going on?"

"Eh, nothing much." The electrokinetic admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm done here in the Danger Room if you want to use it." Tabitha then glanced at the wrecked combat arms. "Well, as soon as the self-repair program finishes cleaning this stuff up."

"Ah, that's fine." Ray smiled. "Hey listen, uhm..."

"What? Spit it out, Sparky. I got stuff to do."

"Uh, well, there's this new coffee shop in town, and I was kind of thinking, maybe you and I could go there, or something like that."

"Oh, really? Sure! Sounds fun!" Tabitha smiled.

 _Alright!_ Ray thought. "Great! See you tonight, then?"

"See you then!" Tabitha walked out, giving Ray a wave. Let us leave these two, and switch to another pair of X-Men enjoying the day...

" _And in weather news, we are expected to have sunny days all week long, with highs into the mid-to-late 70s in the area..."_ The meteorologist reported on the television of the Xavier Institute's common room. A young man, wearing a blue polo shirt with a pair of brown slacks, smiled in approval. His eyes were covered by a pair of eyeglasses with red lenses. His brown hair was in a neat short cut.

 _ **Cyclops. Real Name: Scott Summers. Birthplace: Anchorage, AK. Affiliation: X-Men. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and Abilities: Eyes can fire concussive energy blasts. He requires special visor or sunglasses with ruby quartz lenses to control his powers.**_

"Well, that's nice." Scott smiled in approval. "Maybe I can take Jean to the beach this weekend..." He laid back on the couch, and put his hands behind his head. "That would be nice...would be a great way to enjoy the day..."

"What're you mumbling about, Scott?" Said teenager turned his head to see a young woman smiling at him. She was a stunning one, with bright flaming red hair and green eyes. She wore a yellow sweater and blue jeans.

 _ **Marvel Girl. Real Name: Jean Grey. Birthplace: Red Hook, NY. Affiliation: X-Men. Physiology: Telepathy, telekinesis.**_

"Just thinking about my potential plans for the weekend." Scott explained. "The weatherman said it will be very nice this weekend. I'm thinking that maybe you and I could spend it doing something together. Like maybe hit the beach or something like that."

Jean thought about it. "That actually sounds like a nice idea. I was kind of thinking that maybe we could have a nice picnic in the park, though."

"We can do both." Scott compromised. "Have a nice picnic lunch, then go to the beach." He then noticed that the place was rather quiet. "Huh. Quiet around here. Normally, around this time, the Misfits would come by and make us miserable in some way."

Jean shrugged. "It's a bit of a lazy day today. Maybe the Misfits are out on a mission or something like that."

"Maybe." Scott agreed with a nod. "I'm personally hoping that's the case."

"Or maybe they just decided to take the day off from annoying us." Jean suggested.

Scott chuckled. "That would actually be pretty funny if they decided to do that. It would be a pleasant surprise if they actually _did_ , considering their love of showing up where they're not wanted."

"I would be surprised, too." Jean then heard a crash. "What on Earth?"

"AHHHHHHHH!" A young brown-haired boy screamed as he ran by. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" He wailed.

 _ **Multiple. Real Name: James "Jamie" Madrox. Birthplace: Los Alamos, New Mexico. Affiliation: X-Men's "New Mutants". Powers and Abilities: Upon impact, Jamie can create perfect duplicates of himself.**_

Jean and Scott watched this.

"What on Earth?" The telekinetic telepath blinked.

"Oh, God no..." Scott groaned, putting his head in his hands. "They're here." Right after he said that, a trio of dark-haired young girls around Jamie's age floated by at great speed after the duplicator, pink electricity crackling up and down their bodies.

 _ **Trinity. Real Names: Brittany, Daria, and Quinn Delgado. Birthplace: The Pit, Florida. Affiliation: Misfits. Powers and abilities: Telepathy, the ability to fire "psi-bolts", telekinesis.**_

"Come to mama, cutie!" Brittany, the triplet with pigtails gushed.

"I love you, Jamie!" Quinn, the triplet with a ponytail on the left side of her head cooed.

"Kissing time!" Daria, the triplet with a ponytail on the right said of her head squealed.

"WHY ME?!" Jamie screamed as he ran by. "WHY, GOD, WHY?!"

"Oh God, they are here." Scott groaned, sinking dejectedly into the couch. "It's like God loves to torment us or something." Jean sighed.

"We really should have realized we spoke too soon." The two mutants heard an explosion. Jean and Scott looked at each other.

"Tabitha." They both realized in unison.

"PIETRO, GET OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!" The voice of Tabitha Smith, aka Boom Boom, rang throughout the mansion, accompanied by some insane laughing. "YOU SICK PERV!"

"The Misfits' average day: Get up, annoy X-Men, go to bed." Scott grumbled. "Don't the Joes take them on missions or something?"

"I have heard that the Joes don't take them that often." Jean answered. "They don't want to traumatize them."

"No offense to people who have been through traumatic events, but maybe some trauma would do them some good." Scott grumbled.

"Scott!"

"Sorry, sorry." Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. The two then heard a rumbling. "Oh God, I am thankful we had this place modified to handle earthquakes."

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM KITTY, YOU NO-GOOD ARROGANT PUNK!" The Russian-accented voice of Piotr Rasputin, aka Colossus, was heard snapping somewhere.

"BITE ME, TIN MAN! I'M JUST HERE TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" A male voice snapped back at him. The owner of the voice then walked into the common room, but there was something different about his walk. Scott could have sworn he was strutting. Not to mention the huge grin on his face. He looked like he had just won the Super Bowl. He was a tall and lanky, yet handsome teenager with brown hair in a mullet. He was clad in a dark blue t-shirt with a brown leather vest and blue jeans, with brown boots.

 _ **Avalanche. Real Name: Lance Alvers. Birthplace: Chicago, IL. Affiliation: Misfits, (Formerly) Brotherhood of Mutants. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and Abilities: Avalanche can generate seismic waves. Due to genetic experimentation, his powers have evolved into geokinesis.**_

"Are you…strutting?" Scott asked his mortal enemy in disbelief.

"You're walking like a peacock." Jean quipped.

"Hi ya, Summers!" Lance waved in an unusually chipper tone. "I came to see Kitty and to remind you that you suck."

"Oh, why do I suck this time?" Scott frowned and folded his arms. Lance chuckled, and then his face broke out into a grin.

"Well, we got to do something you guys don't get to do lately."

"What, be a bunch of insane idiots?" Scott sneered.

"BLOB, GET THE HELL OUTTA THE KITCHEN BEFORE AH POUND YOU!" Rogue's voice roared from the kitchen.

"I'M HUNGRY, WOMAN! LET ME EAT IN PEACE!" Fred Dukes, aka Blob yelled back. "Please."

"DON'T THEY FEED YOU AT THE PIT?!"

"YES!"

"OBVIOUSLY NOT ENOUGH!"

"YOU GUYS HAD CHOCOLATE CAKE, AND BEAST TOLD ME I COULD HAVE SOME!"

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THE WHOLE DAMN THING, YA HOG!"

"THERE'S ANOTHER ONE IN THE FRIDGE! HE SAID I COULD HAVE THIS ONE!"

"Anyway…" Lance explained. "We went to Los Angeles. No big deal. We may have met a few celebrities. Again, no big deal."

"What celebrity would be dumb enough to hang out with you? Kanye West?" Scott mocked, his voice indicating he was not buying it.

Lance snorted. "Kanye West? You wish. I'd whup his butt and make him eat his fishsticks! We picked up two new guys." The Misfit codenamed Avalanche laughed at the looks on Scott and Jean's faces. "That right, our happy little family has grown." Scott and Jean looked at Lance like his pants were on fire, and then they looked at each other.

 _Jean, you think he's lying?_ Scott asked via telepathy.

 _I don't sense he is._ Jean answered. They then looked at Lance.

"Bull." Scott scoffed. "If there were two new mutants in LA, Cerebro would've picked them up!"

"Oh Scott, I just remembered. Cerebro had to be cleaned out yesterday." Jean glared at Avalanche. "Toad slimed it."

"To be fair, that was not his fault." Lance countered. "Some jackass, a certain silver-haired one, thought it would be funny to slip him some Hyper Jolt Cola." Jean blinked.

"... _Hyper_ Jolt Cola? Isn't that stuff banned in ten states?"

Scott nodded. "Twelve now. They just banned it in Massachusetts last week."

"And they _still_ won't ban Power8." Jean sighed.

"It doesn't harm normal humans, so as far as they're concerned, if mutants get sick, that's their problem." Scott sighed.

"And your Cerebro can't _possibly_ pick up every mutant on Earth. Even with Xavier's power, it can't do it."

"You'd be surprised." Scott retorted. "I take it these new recruits are why you're here?"

"Yup!" Lance grinned. "We wanted to introduce them to you guys."

"You think that these new guys might be actually sane?" Jean asked.

"We might as well find the mythical city of el Dorado." Scott sighed.

"That place might actually be real." Lance shrugged. "Remember, Atlantis is a thing. Just ask Althea...although if you do, I'd be ready to duck." Jean opened her mouth to ask, but Scott shook her head at her.

"Trust me on this Jean, I think we're better off not knowing."

 _ **Bamf!**_

An indigo-furred teenage boy appeared in the air, with yellow eyes. He was wearing a black-and-red t-shirt with khaki shorts and white sneakers. His hands and feet were odd, having only two thick fingers and a thumb on each hand, and having two thick toes on each foot.

 _ **Nightcrawler. Real Name: Kurt Wagner. Birthplace: Witzeldorf, Bavaria, Germany. Affiliation: X-Men. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and abilities: Teleportation, can blend into shadows, superhuman agility and flexibility, can cling to surfaces.**_

"Guten Tag!" Kurt greeted.

"Hey, Kurt." Scott smiled, hi-fiving the German teleporter.

"You have to see this!" Kurt pointed outside. "The Misfits have set up some kind of painting!" Scott and Jean blinked, then looked at each other.

"A painting?"

"Yeah." Lance nodded. "One of our new guys wanted to make a good impression, so he made you guys a painting as a gift." The geokinetic started to leave. "Shall we?" Scott and Jean followed him outside. The Xavier Institute's students and staff had gathered around in front of the Institute. In front of them was the gathered Misfits, with a couple of their handlers. They were standing around an easel that had been covered by a large red cloth.

"Okay, I admit it. This is gonna be good." Scott smirked.

"Here ye, hear ye, X-Geeks!" Fred Dukes, the Blob, called. "One of our new members wishes to present to you this gift! He hopes you like it! And if you don't, I shall personally destroy you!"

"Fred!" Althea Delgado, Wavedancer, snapped.

"Sorry, old habit." Fred then gestured to Xi. "Xi, remove the tarp." The lizard-like artificial lifeform nodded silently and pulled off the tarp. The X-Men oohed, aahed, and murmured at the revealed painting.

"What is it?" A puzzled Amara "Magma" Aquilla whispered to Tabitha "Boom-Boom" Smith.

"It's Kiss." Tabitha explained. True to her answer, the painting depicted the legendary rock band in homage to their famous _Destroyer_ album.

"...are they gods?"

"To music fans, they are."

"Amara, how long have you lived here and never heard of Kiss?" Bobby Drake, Iceman, snarked. "Especially since this guy plays it when he fixes up his dirtbikes." He jerked his thumb at Samuel "Cannonball" Guthrie.

Scott looked over the painting. "It's really neat." He complimented sincerely. "I take it one of the new recruits is a bit of a fan?"

"Oh, yeah." Althea grinned. "He and his brother were busking for money when we found them."

"Street musicians!" Amara smiled in delight. "Roma Nova has its fair share of those!"

"I take it you have seen your fair share?" Tabitha asked.

Amara nodded. "Yes. I would also give them some money for their entertainment." The Nova Roman princess smiled. "I enjoyed listening to them when I would sneak out of the palace."

"Ho ho ho, I have _got_ to hear some stories about _those_ misadventures!" Tabitha laughed.

"Brother, huh?" Scott asked.

"Yup." Lance nodded.

"I wonder who painted that. It's...interesting." Ororo wondered. She then looked around. "Shipwreck isn't here, is he?"

"Naw, he's on a mission." Cover Girl explained. "He does send his regards, though. Said he'll be thinking of you."

"Lovely." Ororo grumbled. "I hope his mission took him very far away."

"He's dealing with some smugglers in the Mekong Delta." The tank driver told her. "It's believed that they may be helping Cobra obtain some weapons."

"He's in Vietnam." Logan snickered. "Good luck gettin' him back." He then looked at the painting. "Where are we gonna hang it up?"

"Okay, I'm curious. Which one of you maniacs painted this thing?" Scott inquired.

"Right here!" Althea grinned. She and the other Misfits parted ways, revealing a pair of twin boys.

One of them had a muscle frame that was slightly lanky. He had a mane of wild black hair that reached down to halfway down his back. His chocolate brown eyes screamed playfulness and good cheer. His clothes were very influenced by the 1980s: A pair of white hi-tops covered his feet. He wore purple acid-washed jeans, held up by a black belt with silver studs. He wore a KISS t-shirt with a purple bandanna around his neck. His hands were covered by fingerless black gloves, and he had a Joe-Com on his right wrist. He had an unusual birthmark on his face: A 5-pointed star around his left eye. The birthmark helped him slightly resemble Paul Stanley.

 _ **Starchild. Real Name: Paul Stanley Starr. Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA. Affiliation: Misfits. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and abilities: Star-covered eye can fire purple energy beams, and flashes of light that can temporarily blind and/or hypnotize someone. Telepathic link with twin brother Craig.**_

The other had a similar frame, but was a bit more muscular. Like his brother, he wore a KISS t-shirt, but he also wore a black leather jacket with studs on the lapels and small spikes on the collarbone areas. He also wore a pair of black biker gloves on his hands, and a pair of well-worn blue jeans and black combat boots. Attached to his belt was what appeared to be a police nightstick. And unlike Paul, his star birthmark was black in color. His eyes were covered by a pair of dark sunglasses. He looked over the group intensely, like he was observing them.

 _ **Darkstar. Real Name: Craig Allman Starr. Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA. Affiliation: Misfits. Physiology: Mutant Human. Powers and abilities: Star-covered eye can fire purple energy beams, and flashes of light that can temporarily blind and/or hypnotize someone. Telepathic link with twin brother Paul.**_

Standing between them, was one of the members of GI Joe: A smiling brunet and mustachioed man wearing jungle gear.

 _ **Recondo. Real Name: Sgt. 1st Class Daniel M. LeClaire. Birthplace: Wheaton, Wisconsin. Affiliations: US Army, GI Joe. Primary Military Specialty: Jungle warfare, Infantry. Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence.**_

Scott blinked at the Joe with the two new boys. He then turned to Lance. "Uh, Alvers, the Joe team is pretty big, so I'm not quite familiar with all of them..."

"That's Recondo." Lance explained. "He's the Joes' resident jungle warfare expert, and he's the new guys' Joe handler."

"Fascinating."

"Yeah, he was one of the Joes who found them." Lance continued.

"Welcome to the wonderful world of Misfit handling." Beast shook Recondo's hand. "We shall pray for you."

"It's not so bad in my case." The jungle trooper chuckled. "I only got two of them. And they're good kids."

"Ladies, gentlemen, and X-Geeks!" Toad called out. "Presenting the two newest members of the Misfits: Paul and Craig Starr, Starchild and Darkstar!"

"Hey, everyone!" Paul waved happily, a big smile on his face. The X-Men waved and said various greetings.

"Look at those two." Ray chortled. "They look like a pair of rejects from Rock Band."

"Let's just be nice." Sam Guthrie, Cannonball, sighed.

"Mm." Craig slightly pulled down his sunglasses and looked over the X-Men, his eyes scanning them like he was checking to see if they were a threat.

"You'll have to forgive my brother. He's not used to hanging around lots of people." Paul explained. Xavier wheeled up to them as the other X-Men and Misfits mingled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you gentlemen." Xavier smiled, holding out a hand to the boys.

"Nice to meet you, Professor." Paul smiled, shaking the offered hand.

"Well..." Xavier chuckled. "It is nice to meet such a well-mannered young man." He noted the eagerness in Paul's handshake. "And quite energetic, too."

"Thanks!" Paul grinned. "Mom and Dad always told me being kind would always do some good." Xavier held out his hand to Craig, who just took a step back. "Don't mind Craig, he's heard about you and you kind of freak him out a bit."

"Oh?"

"The telepathy." Paul explained. "It creeps him out."

"Ah, I see." Xavier nodded in understanding. He then turned to Craig. "I assure you, Mr. Starr, I would not enter your mind without your permission. My code of ethics forbids it."

Craig snorted. "Code of ethics. Hardly a guarantee. A telepath has the power to invade a person's mind and do whatever they want. They can learn a person's deepest darkest secrets. They can alter a person's memories and personality. That kind of power...is some dangerous stuff, Professor. And I should know." He made his eye glow. "I can kill a man by looking at him if I wanted to. Or I can override his will and force him to do what I command. And when you have that kind of power dumped right in your lap..." He looked at the professor. "The temptation to misuse it is...strong. There's a dark side to what we are."

"I see..." Xavier nodded. Paul watched the two converse.

 _Well, those two are being more civil than I thought. That's good._ The young mutant thought. _I was actually worried for a moment there. I hope that the Professor wasn't really offended by what Craig said..._ Jean looked over at Scott.

"That Darkstar guy creeps me out a bit, but he does have a point." The redheaded telepath admitted. Scot shook his head and decided to table the issue.

"Starchild, huh?" Scott looked at Fred. "What kind of codename is Starchild?"

"It's very appropriate for him." Fred explained with a grin.

"Paul and Craig are quite talented musicians." Cover Girl explained. "The boys managed to earn quite a bit of money doing it."

"I do hope we can get them to do a performance for us in the future." Amara said to Scott. "I love street musicians."

"Eh, maybe, Amara. Maybe." Scott answered.

"Actor, comedian, musician, artist. I can do it all!" Paul grinned widely, doing a dramatic bow for Amara, making her giggle. He then looked up at the mansion. "Wow, this place is really swanky! It's really tubular!"

"Tubular?" Rogue repeated in disbelief. "This guy really just said that, right?"

"Like, I think it's funny." Kitty giggled. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I'm getting the feeling that he watches _way_ too many 80s movies."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Kitty retorted. "Like, you loved _Prince of Darkness!_ And that's from '87!" Rogue opened her mouth to object, but then shut it.

"Fair enough." She noticed Paul approaching them. "Hi."

"Hi!" Paul grinned. He held his hand out to Rogue. "You must be Rogue, right?"

"Uh yeah, that's me." Rogue nodded.

"Do you have a 'real name' or..."

"It's Rogue. Just Rogue."

Paul chuckled. "So, kinda like Cher or Beyonce?"

"Except Rogue can't sing." Kitty chortled. Rogue glared.

"Shaddap. Ah can sing Glen Campbell damn well, and you know it."

 _She can sing, huh? I'd love to hear her voice._ "Your accent is really neat." Paul said to the Southerner. "Georgia?"

"Mississippi." Rogue explained.

"Ah, neat." Paul nodded. "It's nice to meet you."

"Sorry about that, it's rather...odd to see a _Misfit_ be polite like this." Rogue admitted, shaking Paul's hand.

"None taken." He looked at Kitty. "You must be Kitty Pryde." Paul grinned.

"That's me." Kitty nodded, shaking Paul's hand.

"Lance told me a lot about you." Paul explained. "He said you were really nice."

"Well, that's nice of him." Kitty smiled. Rogue rolled her eyes. Starchild then held out his right hand like he was holding something long and thin. He waved his left hand over it and raised it. When he flicked his wrist, a pair of red roses appeared in his hand in a puff of smoke and a few sparks. He then gave one of the roses to Kitty. "No wonder Lance and Piotr fight over you." Shadowcat giggled as she took the rose. Paul then gave her a wink. "And of course, one for you." He gave a rose to Rogue, who accepted it with an amused smile.

"A bit of a charmer, huh?" Rogue snickered.

"Yeah, people say that about me." Paul smiled, rubbing the back of his head. Piotr Rasputin's jaw dropped.

"What in the-?!" The Russian mutant blinked. Lance smirked at him.

"What's the matter, tin man? Can't handle competition?" The geokinetic mocked. Piotr growled at Lance. "Relax, metalhead. Paul's harmless."

"I get the feeling this was your doing." Piotr grumbled.

"You wish, metal man. You wish." Lance smirked, crossing his arms.

"You know, Amara, that Starchild guy is actually kind of cute." Tabitha grinned. Amara nodded. Ray frowned as he looked at Tabitha. His frown deepened as he noticed he was clearly checking him out.

 _Aw, great._ The electrokinetic grumbled. _I finally get to ask Tabby out, and she's mooning over starboy over there!_

"Well..." Ororo observed the scene. "It's actually...civil. That's nice."

"Don't get yer hopes up, 'Ro." Logan grunted, crossing his arms. "This won't last very long. We'll be right back to brawling and the usual stuff. What the-?" He felt a pair of hands cover his eyes.

"Guess who?" The Canadian mutant heard a Japanese-accented voice whisper in his ear. Logan smiled.

"I should've known." Logan smirked as the Joe ninja Jinx made herself visible. "How ya doin', babe?"

"Doing well, thanks." Jinx smiled, giving him a kiss. "I see you've met our new guys."

"Yes." Ororo smiled. "They seem rather...unique."

Jinx shrugged. "Well, we _did_ find them in Los Angeles."

"LA. That explains a lot." Wolverine rolled his eyes. He looked at Recondo talking with Beast. "How'd you guys end up roping that poor bastard into being a handler?"

"He was one of the Joes that found the Starr boys." Jinx explained. "They took a liking to him, and the rest is history."

"So, you could say they adopted him?" Ororo quipped. Jinx laughed.

"Yeah. Cover Girl was one of the Joes who was there, too." Said Joe overheard Jinx's statement.

"Have you tried contacting their family?" Ororo asked.

"We don't know who they are." Cover Girl admitted. "Neither do the boys."

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm." Cover Girl nodded. "The boys were split up and raised by different families. One ended up with a rich family, and the other ended up living in a rather rough family." She motioned to the boys. "Paul there ended up with a rich, loving family. Craig was not so lucky. According to him, he ended up in a home that was, in his own words, a 'real crapsack'."

"Gods of Earth and Air..." Ororo put her hand to her mouth. "No wonder they ended up so different."

"Wow." Wolverine winced at Craig. "Poor bastard. How'd he get out?"

"He was in a gang, and he ran away." Cover Girl explained. "The boys ended up on the streets of Los Angeles. According to Paul, he was driven out on the streets because some people didn't want a mutant to get his inheritance. Their powers allowed them to find each other, and they lived in the old Fabulous Studios space."

"That place never got torn down?" Logan blinked. "Huh. Those kids lucked out."

"According to Paul, there's a lot of old props and stuff there. It's like the place was utterly forgotten." Cover Girl shook her head. "They put out some good movies back in the day. A real shame."

"Incompetent management will do that to ya." Logan said.

"So how'd you meet them?" Ororo asked.

"Well, they literally ran into me, Lady Jaye, and Recondo." Cover Girl explained with a grin. "They were fleeing from Cobra. Dr. Mindbender had been capturing some local homeless mutants to do some sort of experimentation, maybe to enhance their soldiers. They certainly have tried that stuff before. Long story short, they take us there, we bust it up, we fought a monster, we beat the monster, and we rescued the mutants."

"Surprised you only recruited two of them." Logan remarked.

"They were the only ones who wanted to join." Cover Girl explained. "A couple others helped us out, but they decided to stay in LA and help protect it."

"Joining the ranks of the Local Heroes." Jinx smiled. "Hope it works out for them."

"Paul has kept in contact with them." Cover Girl said. "According to him, they recently helped save Los Angeles. Got themselves a little team going with some of the other mutants." Amara overheard this and turned to Lance.

"Is that true?" The Roma Novan asked the earthshaker.

Lance nodded. "Yup. They helped us out, we made an offer in gratitude, and they said yes."

Amara raised an eyebrow. "You jerks are capable of being grateful?" The geokinetic girl asked in a tone that indicated a mix of amusement and disbelief. Lance pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Magma. We are."

"Besides, not all of us have that fancy Cerebro, yo!" Todd piped up.

"I suggest we all go inside." Xavier suggested. "It would be more comfortable. And we can show Starchild and Darkstar around." With that, the group went inside.

"Holy cow, is that a piano?!" Paul whooped, pointing at the grand piano.

"Yes, that is mine." Ororo smiled. "I like to play it."

"She's pretty good." Jean pointed out.

"May I?" Paul asked.

"You play?"

"Yup!" Paul nodded. "My parents got me piano lessons when I was a kid. Drove my piano teacher crazy. He wanted me to play Beethoven, I wanted to play Elton John." He took a seat on the bench, and started playing and singing. " _I remember when rock was young! Me and Susie had so much fun!_ "

"My brother, ever the performer." Craig muttered, rolling his eyes in amusement/mock annoyance as Paul continued to sing Elton John's "Crocodile Rock." The young mutant got some of the young mutants clapping and stomping their feet, and even singing along. "Yup, he always brings the show."

"That's not all!" Paul grinned. He motioned to Craig. "My brother also plays music. He plays a mean bass guitar." Craig blushed and pulled up the lapels of his jacket.

 _Stupid brother of mine..._ "I only did it so we could get money to eat." He glared at everyone. "Will you all stop looking at me?!"

"Especially you girls." Pietro snickered. "A certain someone will get really mad."

"Oh, you mean Wa-GMMMPH!" Todd started to answer, but Althea clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Toddles, I love you, but you _really_ need to work on the whole 'blabbing-things-out' bit." The aquakinetic sighed.

"Anyone want to see me sing some Jerry Lee Lewis?" Paul offered.

"Who's that?!" Tabitha said.

"Who's Jerry Lee Lewis?" Paul grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Let me introduce you to the Killer!" He then burst into a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire". Lance smirked as he watched this.

 _I wish I had my guitar right now._ He thought. _I'd love to jam with this guy again._ Kitty noticed this.

"Like, whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Oh, nothing." Lance shrugged. "I jammed with the Starr boys. They're good. Paul wants to start a band."

"And I take it he asked you to join this hypothetical band?"

"I admit, I think it'll be fun." Lance answered with a shrug. "Who knows? It might actually get big." Kitty snickered.

"That'll be the day."

"Hey, ya never know." Lance smirked. Meanwhile, Craig had managed to slip away and found himself standing at a balcony. However, the former gang member would find himself with company rather quickly.

"Guten Tag." Craig turned and saw a smiling Kurt standing next to him.

"Oh." Craig blinked. "What do you want?"

"That's not normally the reaction I get when people see me." Kurt chuckled.

Craig shrugged. "I had a friend who had red skin and could throw fire and ice in her hands. Blue fur is hardly that weird."

"I like to think of my fur as indigo, to be honest."

"Looks blue to me."

Kurt then looked out at the horizon next to Craig. "See anything interesting out there?"

"Just looking out." Craig answered. "The crowd bothered me a bit."

Kurt overheard laughing, and Paul doing an impression of Christopher Walken. "Not a fan of your brother being in the spotlight, huh?"

"Naw, I couldn't care less." Craig answered. "Let him play superstar all he wants. I've always been more of the type to keep out of the spotlight, as my brother would say."

"I see." The two then looked at the horizon quietly for a short time.

Craig finally broke the silence. "So...the X-Men, huh?"

"Ja." Kurt answered.

"You guys are actually pretty famous."

"Unfortunately, yes." Kurt sighed. "Thanks to the Sentinels."

"You guys should have revealed yourselves beforehand." Craig said simply.

"The Professor said that humanity wasn't ready for our kind." Kurt countered.

"Then that's what you should have done. _Gotten_ humanity ready." Craig explained. "I grew up on the streets of LA. A lot of mutants ended up there. You know why?"

"I think I can guess."

"Yup." Craig nodded. "You guys are talked about quite a bit by those mutants. Let's just say...you guys are mixed."

"Mixed?"

"Some like you. Some have no opinion." Craig turned to glare at Kurt. "Many don't think very highly of you."

"They don't like us?" Kurt blinked in shock and confusion. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" Craig sneered. "What the hell have you X-Men done for us? You guys had an opportunity to make us mutants look good. But instead, you clowns chose to hide in your mansion."

"That is rather funny coming from you." Kurt scowled, crossing his arms. "From what I heard, you used to be in a street gang. You were a criminal."

"I did what I had to do to _survive_ , blue boy." Craig growled. "Somehow, I doubt your blue ass would know anything about that."

"Just because you had it rough does not give you the right to judge me." Kurt responded. Craig glared.

"You X-Men want to act like you're the faces of mutantkind, but you don't want to actually show it to people!"

Inside, Rogue was looking over the rose that Paul gave her.

"Penny for our thoughts, chere?" Remy asked. "What're you thinkin', there?"

"Just lookin' over this here rose, sugah." Rogue explained. "Ol' Starchild, as the Misfits call him, he's a bit of a charmer."

"Remy see." Remy frowned. Rogue smirked at the Cajun.

"Why Cajun, are you getting' jealous?"

"Moi? Non." Remy sniffed. "Jus' makin' sure mah chere ain't getting' swept off her feet by a man who's intendin' harm."

"That's sweet of yah, but ah can handle mahself." Rogue said, her smirk never leaving her face. The two then heard a scuffling outside. "What the-?" Scott and Lance ran out to the balcony and saw Kurt and Craig looking like they were about to fight.

"You're a jerk!" Nightcrawler snapped.

"And you X-Men are hypocrites!" Craig snapped back.

"Alright! Knock it off! Knock it off!" Scott pushed the two apart, Lance helping hold back Craig.

"Cool out, man." The earthshaker told the ex-gang member as some of the others went out on the balcony. "Cool out. Not worth it."

"Oh, dear..." Xavier sighed.

"Knew it." Logan rolled his eyes. "I knew it."

"Well, it least the quiet lasted this long. New record." Jinx told the Canadian mutant, trying to put an optimistic spin on it.

"What happened, Kurt?" Scott asked.

"This psycho tried to take a swing at me!" Kurt exclaimed, pointing at Craig.

"Furball, if I took a swing at you, you'd be out on the ground right now!" Craig snapped, his star-covered eye glowing hotly.

"I take it 'Darkstar' over there has some issues?" Logan asked Jinx. The ninja nodded.

"Yup." Jinx nodded. "The streets of LA will do that to you."

"He definitely is a perfect fit for you guys." Scott scowled at Lance. "That Darkstar guy is a punk."

"Don't you start, Summers!" Lance snapped. Recondo came up to the young mutant.

"We had a talk about this." The jungle trooper told him.

Craig sighed. "I know, I know." He held up his hands. "I just got fed up with this guy acting like the hypocrite he is."

"Is that what you told him about us, Alvers?" Scott growled at Lance.

"Hey, we ain't a cult, man!" Lance snapped. "He thought that about you guys long before he met us."

"Maybe you should go cool out, kid." Recondo told Craig.

"Yeah, yeah..." Craig grunted, walking away. Recondo sighed and turned to Xavier.

"Sorry about this, Professor. I'm still kind of new to this whole Misfit wrangling thing."

"Quite alright, Recondo." Xavier reassured the jungle trooper with a smile. "The ones who were former Brotherhood were quite firebrands themselves."

"We were also cooler!" Pietro quipped. Todd and Fred frowned.

"People made fun of us, man." Todd scowled. "Girls hated me!"

"Why?" Althea blinked in confusion.

"They didn't see what you see, my little daughter of Poseidon." Todd smiled.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "In my case, it was the stupid nicknames. I have no idea how in the hell you are able to put up with them, Althea."

"I think they're sweet." Althea explained.

"If you say so." Wanda shrugged.

 **Later that day.**

Ray Crisp sulked in the hallway. He could hear the muffled sounds of Paul singing and playing piano. Evidently, the neophyte Misfit had suddenly decided to throw a little party, which both groups surprisingly got behind.

"Something botherin' you, Ray?" A voice asked the electrokinetic. He looked up and saw Scott.

"Oh, hey."

"You look a little glum." Scott said. "Want to talk about it?" Ray sighed.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt. I was going to take Tabitha out to that cafe for coffee, but she's mooning over Starboy in there."

"Aw, that sucks, man." Scott said. "Anything I can do?"

"It's ridiculous, man!" Ray groaned. "What the hell is _up_ with that guy?" Scott sighed.

"Ray, he didn't do anything. Yeah, he's a Misfit, but he actually seems kind of nice." He chuckled. "A _nice_ Misfit. The times are changing."

"He thinks he's some kind of rockstar, and now the girls are drooling over him." Ray grumbled. The two noticed Piotr stomp up to them. "What's your deal?"

"Lance. Kitty. And the Starchild."

"Oh here we go..." Scott muttered, rolling his eyes.

"She's going crazy over the Starchild guy, and Lance is loving it!"

"I'm sure it's harmless, Pete." Scott reassured. "He isn't trying anything. And as you said, Lance is laughing at it, so he's clearly not bothered."

"Humph." Piotr frowned, crossing his arms. "We'll see."

"I'm sure it's nothing..." Scott noticed Remy stomping up. _Aw no, not another one..._

"Dat Starr boy is getting on Remy's nerves." Gambit grumbled.

"What is it, Remy? Rogue is dancing?"

"Remy never saw Rogue smiling like that before Starboy started singing." Remy grumbled. Scott rolled his eyes.

The optic blaster pinched the bridge of his nose. "God forbid she actually _likes_ something."

"Oh yeah?" Remy sneered. "Why don't you take a look and see what your beloved Jean is doing?" Scott peeked out and saw Jean sitting on the piano, swaying and snapping her fingers as Paul sang Elton John's "Island Girl."

"I see Jean enjoying herself while Paul Starr is singing Elton John." Scott answered dryly. "He's actually not half bad."

"The girls are going nuts for him, man!" Ray exclaimed.

"He's handsome dude who's a good singer. Girls tend to go nuts for that." Scott reminded. "You know, like that pop singer the girls were crazed over for a while?"

"Didn't he turn out to be some sort of alien hivemind?" Remy remembered.

"Yeah, he did." Scott nodded. "The Fantastic Four took care of him."

"Ah, right." Remy smirked. "Dat idiot Storm wouldn't stop mugging for the camera. It was pretty funny when Ben Grimm poured de tar and feathers over him."

"I actually painted that." Piotr smiled. "It was rather inspiring."

Scott chuckled. "Yeah, that was pretty funny." He shook his head. "Look, you guys. He's harmless. Don't you think you guys are being a _bit_ ridiculous?" Scott frowned, crossing his arms. He then blinked. "Oh God, I just did the Roadblock rhyming thing, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did." Piotr nodded. Scott sighed.

"Look, you guys can sulk and be silly." He told them. "I'm going to get a drink." He left, leaving his three friends to do exactly that.

"...That Starchild guy is going to take our girlfriends from us, man." Ray grunted. "I say we do something about it."

"But what?" Piotr asked.

"...I don't know." Ray shook his head. "But we gotta think of something. And fast."

 _ **Well, there you have it! This is the start of Paul and Craig's first meeting with the X-Men. Looks like Paul's stolen some hearts, and Craig's thrown some punches! What's gonna happen next? Find out soon! Thanks for reading, and suggestions for the next chapter are welcome.**_


	2. Just a Little Insanity!

**X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers, Special Edition!**

 **Disclaimer: "I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" - William Murderface, Metalocalypse**

Chapter 2: Just a Little Insanity!

 **Xavier Institute**

A short amount of time had passed since some of the Misfits introduced the X-Men to their two newest recruits: Paul "Starchild" Starr and Craig "Darkstar" Starr. A pair of twin brothers from Los Angeles, the twin boys had the same powers, but different attitudes. They were also talented musicians. And one of them was talking to his Joe handler, the jungle warfare expert known as Recondo. The two were outside, Craig sitting under a tree.

"What was _that_ all about?" Recondo frowned at Darkstar, crossing his arms.

"I...I don't want to talk about it." Craig grumbled.

"It would help if you did. It's not good to keep things bottled up. Psyche-Out told you this."

"I know, but..." Craig rubbed his head. "Those X-Men, they _really_ get under my skin."

"Not a fan, huh?" Recondo chuckled.

"Don't they bother you?"

Recondo shrugged in response. "I don't have anything against them. What is it about them you don't like?" Craig pointed at that mansion.

"Look at that building. Just look at it. A big comfortable house. All of them living together in it."

"Not a fan of crowds, that I get about you."

"It's not that." Craig sighed. "Look at them. The X-Men. Most of them look...normal."

"Normal, huh?"

Craig nodded. "You know this star on my face?" He pointed at his birthmark. "I had it my whole life. My dad would make fun of it constantly. My mother didn't mind it so much. And other kids..."

"They'd make fun of you for it?"

"...yeah." Craig nodded. "They would."

"I'm sorry, Craig."

He waved off Recondo's apology. "Don't worry about it. I survived it." He waved again at the mansion, glaring at it. "But most of them don't have to worry about it."

"Ahhh, I see." Recondo nodded in understanding. "You think they had it easy."

"Yeah." Craig answered. "They had it easy. Most of them...most of them look just like regular people. Rogue can't touch anyone, but no one can look at her and tell she's a mutant on sight. Same with most of them. Hell, _Cyclops_ can get away with it. _Cyclops._ " Recondo chuckled. "Seriously! How many people question those stupid glasses he wears? The lenses are _freakin' red,_ but nobody questions them."

"Well, I don't know about the glasses thing, but I do know one thing. You picked a fight about this with Nightcrawler. _Nightcrawler._ " Craig scowled.

"What's your point?"

"You picked a fight with the one member of the X-Men who isn't considered 'normal' in appearance." The jungle trooper used air quotes on the world 'normal'. Craig snorted.

"Those X-Men gave him some kind of fancy watch. Toad told me about it." Craig explained. "It's what angers me so much about them. They never had to grow up dealing with the stuff I did. Being seen as a freak and all that."

"You'd be surprised, kid." Recondo told him. "Was that why you picked a fight with Kurt?"

"He's not that much different from the other X-Men." Craig snorted. "Seriously. I doubt that many of them really know how much being a mutant can suck."

"I think they get it more than you might think, Craig." Recondo said. "It may not seem like it, but I highly doubt being a mutant was any fun for any of the X-Men, either."

"Oh, I'm sure it wasn't." Craig grumbled.

"Just because the X-Men live here now doesn't mean they haven't had struggles." Recondo told him. "You should talk to some of them. You'd be surprised."

"Yeah, yeah." Craig waved it off. The two heard a scream. "What the hell?"

"AUUUUUUGH! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Jamie Madrox screamed as he ran by. The Trinity were still chasing after him, proclaiming they wanted to love him. The mutant and the Joe looked at each other.

"We gotta go help the kid." Recondo told Craig, jerking his thumb at Jamie.

"You're lucky that so far, he's one of the only members of these X-Men that have not annoyed me in some way." Craig grunted. Meanwhile, Scott and Kurt were having a similar conversation.

"What was _that_ all about? That's not like you, man." The optic blaster frowned at his friend.

"Ja, I apologize." Kurt sighed. "It's just...just zat guy is a jerk. He kept talking trash about us."

"So? He's a Misfit. He's adopted their tradition of making fun of us already."

"He said we never did anything to help mutants." Kurt grumbled. "He called us a bunch of hypocrites."

"Kurt, even we can't be everywhere at once." Scott explained. "There are a lot of mutants out there."

"I know." Kurt said. "But...he said I had no idea about how hard it could be to be a mutant." He scowled and put his arms out. "Look at me! What is he, blind or something?"

"Maybe he was just trying to get your goat, Kurt." Scott suggested. "When exactly did he join the Misfits? We know the others must've given him a...jaundiced account."

"That makes sense." Kurt grumbled. "I'm betting _Toad_ told him about us."

"I don't think it would just be Toad alone." Scott sighed. "Remember, _five_ of the Misfits are old 'friends' of ours."

Kurt sighed. "...ja."

"I think if you just told him your story, he might understand." Scott suggested. Kurt's face scrunched up in though, and then he reluctantly nodded in agreement.

"I'll try, but I make no guarantees it'll work out." The German mutant teleported away, leaving a trace of brimstone in the air and his _BAMF_ noise. Scott then noticed that Piotr, Ray, and Remy were sitting on a couch, grumbling. The Alaskan mutant let out a sigh. _If it's not one crisis, it's another..._ "What's bothering you guys?"

"Look." Remy pointed. Scott looked in the direction that the Cajun mutant was pointing. Paul was at Ororo's piano, playing a tune. Lance Alvers had a guitar and started jamming along. And Rogue...the Gothic Belle was singing Glen Campbell's "Southern Nights".

"I see Rogue singing Glen Campbell." Scott remarked. "And she actually is pretty good. Never knew she could sing."

"Yeah, she likes Glen Campbell." Remy nodded. "But dat's not de point. The girls are going crazy for him."

"Da." Piotr grumbled. "And the Rockhead is _loving_ it!" He glared at a smiling Lance, who was happily playing his guitar. "Look at him! And look at Kitty! He has her entranced!"

Scott rolled his eyes. "You're paranoid, Pete."

"I heard Amara and Tabitha chatting all excitedly about Mr. Starchild over there." Ray grumbled. "I finally worked up the nerve to ask Tabby out, and _he_ shows up."

"I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm." Scott sighed. He noticed Althea and Wanda walk by. "Hey, what's with the girls going crazy over Starchild over there?"

"Yeah, what gives?" Ray added.

Wanda shrugged. "I have no idea myself, guys."

"Paul's cute, but he's not Toddles." Althea smiled as the girls continued walking by.

"...I still can't believe that girl is dating _Toad._ " Ray grumbled under his breath.

"Someone for everyone, mon ami." Remy shrugged. He then frowned at Starchild. "Gambit swear, he t'ink he saw Paul in one of dem old rock videos from back in de day."

Scott snickered. "Yeah, he kind of does, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, you can almost see him singing with Poison or something like that." Piotr noted. "Why _does_ he dress like that?"

"I think he's after attention." Ray grumbled.

"Or maybe he's just weird." Scott shrugged. "I think we can safely assume the Misfits attract oddballs like magnets attract iron filings."

"I don't get it!" Ray groaned. "What do the girls see in that guy?"

"He's handsome, can sing, and can play." Remy sighed. "How de hell can we compete wit' dat?"

"Guys, maybe we should just stop this." Scott sighed. "I doubt this guy has any real designs on the girls."

"Can we really be sure about that?" Ray scowled. "He seems to not be complaining about the attention the girls are giving him."

"Admittedly, Remy cannot blame him." Remy chuckled.

"I still do not like it." Piotr grumbled. Ray growled.

"That's it!" He jumped up to his feet. "I'm going to do something about this right now!"

"Ray, Ray, no!" Scott exclaimed as the electrokinetic marched towards Paul and Lance.

"Hoo boy." Remy winced.

"Oh, this will end well..." Scott facepalmed. Rogue had finished singing, and took a bow at the clapping group.

"Never thought I'd see _Rogue_ of all people doing this." Lance smirked at Paul. The Los Angelan mutant shrugged with a smile.

"Why not? Everyone has a performer in them." Meanwhile, Craig Starr was still sitting under the tree. Having helped Recondo corral Trinity, he had gone back to the tree and started listening to a podcast on an iPod.

 _Shame that telepaths can be resistant to my hypnotic powers. Would have made corralling those little brats a hell of a lot easier._ Darkstar's thoughts were interrupted when he picked up the scent of brimstone. The young mutant frowned and turned his head. He then saw Kurt.

"Oh. It's you." Craig said. "What do you want?"

"I...was thinking about some of the things you said." Kurt told him.

"Really?"

"Ja."

"Recondo said I was a bit too hard on you." Craig snorted. "I think when it comes to you X-Men, being harsh is the only way you'll get it through your thick heads."

"You said that none of us had any idea what it was like to suffer because of our mutations."

"I know what I said."

"Well..." Kurt sat down on the grass near the former gang member. "My mother is Mystique." Craig raised an eyebrow.

"Mystique. That crazy blue bitch."

"Ja. She's my mother." Kurt nodded.

"I am actually pitying you now."

"Believe me, it is no picnic on this end." Kurt assured. "I was found by a circus troupe."

"...really?"

"Yup." Kurt nodded. "I grew up with a circus."

"...I grew up in the streets of LA."

"That must've been interesting."

"You have no idea." Craig rolled his eyes.

"Well, I was found by a pair of circus owners. They adopted me and raised me as their own." Kurt smiled. "They are wonderful people."

"So despite the fact that you look like a blue fuzzy demon, you had a good life." Craig scowled. "My point exactly. This star on my face? People made fun of me for it. I've heard every homophobic joke in the book."

Kurt blinked at that. "Considering your birthmark reminds me of what is probably the straightest band in the world..."

"Yeah, but KISS doesn't have the pop culture power they once had these days." Craig grunted. "Kids beat me up all the time. I hid out in the library to avoid it. Home life wasn't much better." His face darkened. "My old man wasn't...a nice guy, to put it in a good way."

"He was abusive?"

Craig nodded. "More verbal than physical, but I got my fair share of punches from him. My mother got them, too."

"My goodness..."

"Yup..." Craig nodded. "When I was 12, I had had enough. I ran away. And I joined a gang. I was pretty much alone in the mean streets of Los Angeles."

"I can imagine."

"My life was _not_ a fun one." Craig glared. "And some in the gang still liked to poke fun at my birthmark. Others didn't. One even taught me to play bass." A half-smile formed on his face. "He was one of my only real friends in that gang. The leader hated my guts."

"...why?"

Craig shrugged. "Who knows? Guy was a psycho." He smirked. "It was because of him my eye laser manifested. He and I got into a fight, and he tried to smack me. I ended up blasting a hole in his hand."

"How did the other gang members react?" Kurt asked.

"In general, not too badly. Some were spooked, but others...they were happy to see the Warlord get what was coming to him."

"Ze Warlord?" Kurt blinked.

"Yeah." Craig nodded. "He insisted on being called that." He chortled. "His real name was Melvin. You can bet why he wanted to be called 'Warlord'."

Kurt burst out laughing. "Melvin? His name was _Melvin?!_ "

"Don't say that name around him." Craig said simply. "He'll throw a fit." The two boys were silent for a moment.

"...I told you I grew up with a pair of circus owners for parents, right?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, it wasn't always easy." Kurt sighed. "I would help out and when I got a little older, actually get to perform myself. I did the trapeze and acrobatics." He did a standing flip. "I had a knack for it."

"You got to perform for crowds." Craig rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure they had no problem with you being fuzzy and looking like a blue demon."

"I always thought my fur was more indigo than blue as a kid." Kurt corrected.

"Looks more blue than indigo to me."

"Anyway, not everyone liked it." Kurt continued. "Some in the circus were not too fond of this blue fuzzy dude performing."

"And I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you look like a blue demon." Craig retorted.

"I was picked on too, mein freund." Kurt said. "In fact, I was the object of a riot."

"You." Craig chortled. "That's a riot, Fuzzbag."

"I'm serious!" Kurt said. "We were performing in this small town in Germany. The name escapes me, I'm afraid. One of the other circus performers was let go by mein parents, and he told the town I was a demon. It started a riot, and attacked the circus."

"I see."

"I was rescued by mein parents and Professor Xavier. Und that is how I got here." Kurt sighed. "It was the scariest day of my life. I had never seen so many people wanting to kill me because I looked different. To this day, I still never understood it."

"For some, it doesn't take much." Craig snorted. "Does not take much at all." The two boys then heard a commotion. "The hell?"

Kurt winced as he heard yelling. "That does not sound good." Craig rolled his eyes, but then winced and put his hand to his temple. "Craig, are you-?"

"It's Paul." Craig explained. "Dammit, he needs my help." He got up and ran to the Mansion, Kurt right behind him. "Hey Wagner..." Craig smirked. "You are aware a nightcrawler is a worm, right?"

Kurt blinked. "Was?"

"It's an earthworm. From Europe."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Look it up."

"Ah." Kurt rubbed the back of his head. "I just picked the name because it sounded cool. And how do you know that?"

"Remember when I said that I hid in the library a lot?" Craig reminded. "I read a lot." Meanwhile, inside the Mansion, Paul and Lance continued their impromptu jam session, and the X-Men and Misfits were enjoying themselves. Paul was belting out Elton John's "Crocodile Rock". Some were dancing. Tabitha was sitting on the piano, watching Paul play adoringly. Logan, Jinx, and Storm were watching this.

"I had no idea that Avalanche was a musician." The Kenyan windrider said to the Japanese ninja.

"Oh yeah, he's actually really good." Jinx nodded. "So is Craig. They busked before we took them in."

"They were street musicians." Ororo smiled. "They can put out some wonderful music. I saw quite a few when I lived in Kenya."

"Even better, Paul and Lance have been talking about forming a band." Jinx chuckled. "They want to be the world's first all-mutant rock band."

Logan snickered. "That I have to see."

Jinx smiled. "I don't know, Logan. I think they could pull it off."

"No offense, babe, but would anyone actually _listen_ to their music?"

"You'd be surprised." Jinx answered. "Their jam sessions are actually pretty popular around the base, and it's got the kids into it."

"What of Craig, though?" Ororo asked. "Does he want to do this band thing?"

"Craig is...more reluctant." Jinx explained. "He's not _completely_ against it, though. He does enjoy jamming with Paul and Lance." She shrugged. "Boy's a bit camera-shy compared to his brother. We think it's because Craig Starr got a lot of flak for his facial birthmark."

"Can't blame 'im." Logan said. "If I had that star on my face and people needled me about it all the time, I'd have issues, too. Is kinda of funny that their birthmarks are in those colors and shapes." Jinx shot him a look.

"Your girlfriend is a ninja, you have indestructible metal claws that are part of your body and can heal from practically any injury, and you work with this woman, who can command the weather. And you think a star-shaped birthmark is the strangest thing here?"

"...point taken." Logan admitted. Paul and Lance had finished singing their song. The Starchild had taken a dramatic bow for the applauding crowd, making Lance snicker.

 _Ever the lover of the stage._ Lance mentally noted in bemusement.

"Well, I see that things are going well." Xavier noted with a smile.

"That won't last." Logan grumbled. He then noticed Ray angrily stomping towards them. "'Ro, better pray for yer piano."

"What do you mean oh no..." Ororo groaned.

"Okay, everyone!" Paul grinned. "Since Sir Elton is a big hit here, I think we'll next go into 'Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting'! That one always gets people moving and grooving!"

"Hey punk!" Ray yelled at Paul. "Get up! Get your flamboyant ass up!"

"Ray, what's your deal?" Tabby yelled.

"Hoo, boy..." Lance rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes, I hate being right..." Logan grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. Jinx sighed and sympathetically rubbed his shoulder.

"I'm getting pretty damn tired of seeing the girls fawn over you like this!" Ray snapped.

Jean blinked at Ray's yelling at Paul and then turned to Scott. "What is going on with him?"

"He was stewing over Starr and Alvers's little rock show." Scott explained with a sigh.

"...really?"

"Yeah." Scott nodded. "He had asked Tabby out, and now he thinks that Paul has designs on her."

"...because she's sitting on the piano?"

"Yeah."

"That's not much." Jean shook her head. "I mean, the Starchild is kind of cute, I admit..." Scott blinked. "But he didn't seem to have any interest in Tabby."

"Uh, yeah..." Scott rubbed his head. "Yeah, he seems harmless, actually."

"Hey Lightning Kid, you'd better not pull the bully act around Paul here." Lance warned.

"Oh? And why is that, Avalanche?!" Ray snapped.

The earthshaker smirked. "Because his brother gets a _little_ protective of him."

"Well, I don't see that psycho..." Ray started to mock the Misfit, but out of nowhere, a black blur slammed into the electrokinetic. Paul winced.

"Yeah, Craig can be rather protective." Paul said as Craig started laying punches on Ray. He and Lance moved to get Craig off him.

"Take it easy, Darkstar!" Lance snapped.

"Yeah, calm down, bro! Calm down!" Paul yelped. Ray moaned as Sam and Bobby pulled him away.

"Chill out, Berzerker!" Bobby yelled.

"You heard him, Ray! Knock it off, ya polecat!" Sam added. He then glanced at Bobby. "And 'chill out'? Really?"

Bobby merely shrugged. "I make ice and crack jokes. It's kind of my thing."

"I thig he broke by dose..." Ray whimpered, holding his now-bloody nose.

"We'd better get him to the infirmary." Sam noted.

"Yeah, good idea." Bobby nodded. The two boys then carted Ray away. Hank watched this with a sigh.

 _Not the first time I had to reset a nose around here._ The blue-furred teacher-scientist thought as he followed them.

Paul frowned at Craig. "Did you _really_ have to do that?"

"Yeah, I did."

Lance chuckled. "Maybe Berzerker will actually learn something from this. Oh wait, he's an X-Geek."

"Are you alright, Ray?" Storm asked as the windrider looked him over.

"I think he broke by dose." Ray whimpered as Bobby and Sam helped take him to the infirmary.

Jinx sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Craig..."

"What?!" The LA native snapped at the Japanese woman.

"Cocky little runt, ain'tcha?" Wolverine smirked at Craig.

"I know who you are, and you don't scare me." Craig growled at the feral Canadian. "You ain't so tough without the fancy claws."

"Oh, I like him." Logan smirked at Jinx. "Kid's got a ton of brass."

"A bit too much brass for his own good sometimes, if you ask me." The ninja frowned.

"Are you alright, Paul?" Tabitha asked as she checked on Starchild.

"Yes, I'm fine." Paul reassured kindly. "I am grateful I didn't end up on the receiving end of Lightning Lad's little shocking presentation." The blonde giggled.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay." Tabitha said, a smile on her face. "Say, how about I show you around the mansion?"

"Well, okay I guess..." Paul agreed.

"Hey, Tabby!" Amara piped up. "I'd like to take him on the tour..."

"Ah, I'm sure that..." Paul tried to explain.

"I got it handled, Amara." Tabitha said. Lance smirked.

"Ohhhh, here we go..." The brunet earth-shaker chuckled to himself as Piotr walked up to him.

"What're you talking about?" Piotr asked, a frown on his face.

"Well, Paul has a bit of an effect on the ladies." Lance chuckled.

"Is it a power of his?"

"Nah, it's pure charm." Lance explained. "Can't help but envy the guy a bit."

"Oh, I am sure that Kitty will be happy to hear that." The Russian powerhouse cracked dryly.

"He's got that rockstar mystique." Lance explained. "Kind of like I do." Piotr burst out laughing. Lance glared at him. "The hell you giggling about, you ugly Russkie bastard?"

"You? Rockstar mystique? That is quite funny." Piotr laughed. "You are quite the comedian, my friend."

"We'll see who's laughing when when I'm rockin' Japan at the Budokan Martial Arts Hall, metal mouth." Lance grumbled.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Lance retorted.

"You think you are in a band?"

"Paul, Craig, and I have been discussing it. Paul and I play guitar, and Craig is a bassist. All we really need is a drummer, and we're good to go."

"Who would _listen_ to you?"

"The Joes seem like our jam sessions." Lance smirked.

"They live with you. They're supposed to." Piotr cracked.

"You don't think we could do it."

"What record label would be crazy enough to sign all of you?!" Piotr scowled. "You guys are insane! Not to mention mutants. It would be too controversial."

"We Misfits are pretty famous, man." Lance reminded. "And besides, what record label wouldn't want some celebrities making music for 'em?"

"More like _infamous._ " Piotr grumbled. "I wouldn't be surprised if you're trying to impress Kitty with this stupid band idea."

Lance laughed. "Naw, but that would be a nice bonus. We just like playing music." Meanwhile, Tabitha and Amara's little...conflict was escalating.

"Hold it, Amara! I saw him first!" Tabitha snapped.

"I'm a princess!" Amara snapped back. "He deserves royalty!"

"Now now girls, let's not fight..." Paul tried to interject himself between them. "I'm sure you can both show me around..." _I could use my hypnotic powers to make them stop, but I'd rather honestly avoid that if I can. I have never really felt comfortable using that power..._

"I am a princess of Roma Nova!" Amara yelled.

"And I'm awesome!" Tabitha shoved Amara. Amara slapped her, and they got into a catfight.

"Oh dear..." Paul frowned.

"Oh, here we go!" Lance burst out laughing. Piotr frowned as he watched Storm and Jinx help Paul break it up.

"I cannot believe I just saw that." Piotr frowned at the laughing earthshaker.

"What did I tell ya, Metalhead?!" Lance chortled. "Paul's a charmer."

"I get the feeling that you brought him here on purpose to annoy us."

"Us? Nah." Lance smirked. "But it _is_ a nice bonus." Piotr's frown only deepened at that. Scott and Remy were quietly watching this.

"Dat Darkstar guy is a psycho." Remy grumbled.

"Yeah, he is." Scott agreed. "It's kind of funny. Paul Starr is a big sweetheart, yet Craig Starr is so...rage-filled."

"Yeah, he kinda spooks ol' Gambit a bit." Remy admitted.

"Speaking of Craig, we'd better check on Ray." Scott suggested, and Remy nodded in agreement. The two boys went down to the infirmary. There, they saw Hank put a plaster on Ray's nose.

"It's not severely broken, so as long as you don't get into any more rough-housing, your nose should heal fine." The Beast told the electrokinetic.

"Thank you." Ray said.

"Can we talk to him in private please, Dr. McCoy?" Scott asked.

"Sure." Hank nodded and left. "Be sure to call me if you need something, Mr. Crisp."

"Yes, sir."

"How you feeling, Lightbulb?" Remy asked.

"Like I managed to survive a horror movie." Ray grumbled. "That Darkstar is a psychopath. Why the hell did the Misfits _bring_ him here?"

"To show him off, no doubt." Scott frowned, then sighed. "How's your nose?"

"It'll heal, but I shouldn't do that thing Howie Mandel used to do with rubber gloves back in the day for a while." Ray sighed.

"Good idea, he suffered a perforated sinus because of it." Scott said.

"Sinuses aside, what do we do about Starchild?" Remy grumbled.

"Guys, it's harmless!" Scott groaned.

"You won't be saying that when Jean Grey is mooning over him." Remy warned.

"All Jean did was dance to his little show!" Scott countered. "And Rogue sang! That's all! It's nothing! ...Rogue has a hell of a voice, though. She should sing more often."

"She does like her Glen Campbell." Remy nodded. "But that's beside de point. If dere's any'thing dis ol' Cajun knows, it's dat he got instincts. And Remy's instincts have never led him wrong."

"What about the time your 'instincts' got us lost in New Hampshire?" Scott recalled dryly.

"Dat was _not_ Remy's fault! De GPS sucked!" Remy exclaimed.

"Sure it wasn't." Scott snickered. "Sure it wasn't."

"He's got a point, man." Ray added. "A GPS is only as good as the info you put in."

"Remy, you're being paranoid." Scott sighed. "Let it go, man."

"Remy t'ink that Starchild is just going to bring us a lot of problems to de romantic lives around here." Remy grumbled.

"Yeah." Ray scowled in agreement. Scott merely rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, back out in the main area of the Institute, Paul was talking to Storm, Professor X, and Logan.

"Sorry about all that with the girls." Paul said shyly, head down and rubbing the back of his head.

"It's quite alright, young man." Xavier reassured with a smile. "That little impromptu concert was quite entertaining."

"We're gonna form a band, Baldy!" Lance whooped. "We're gonna be famous! We're gonna make a million bucks, get a platinum record, and rub it in your weird-eyebrowed Patrick Stewart-sounding _face!_ "

"Be nice!" Piotr snapped.

"I have no idea what got into those girls." Storm shook her head. Logan snickered.

"Kid's handsome and a rockstar, 'Ro." Logan explained. "Not that hard to figure out."

"Indeed, Ororo." Jinx smiled. "It's just harmless crushing. Looks like you got some fangirls on your hands, kiddo." Jinx smiled as she playfully messed with Paul's hair. This made Lance laugh.

"You _knew_ this was going to happen." Piotr grumbled.

"If you say so, pal." Lance smirked at the Russian mutant. "If you say so."

"At least Kitty isn't drooling over that young man."

"Give it time, pal." Lance quipped.

"HONEY, I'M HOOOOOOME!" A male voice whooped.

"Oh, boy..." Jinx blinked.

"Oh, look who's back from Vietnam." Logan noted.

"I wonder if he met that crazy dude from _Platoon_ there.." Paul joked.

"Oh, no..." Storm groaned, putting her face in her hands as Shipwreck made himself known. "Gods of Earth and Air help me..."

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity level just got kicked up a notch! What's gonna happen next? Read & Review Please! Suggestions for next part welcome!**_


	3. Craziness and Changes!

**X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers!**

 **Disclaimer: "I hope they remember you." -Thanos, _Avengers: Infinity War_**

Chapter 3: Craziness and Changes! Wild things Galore!

 **The Xavier Institute**

"Shipwreck." Ororo sighed at the sight of the blue-clad Joe sailor/Navy SEAL. _Why me? Gods of Earth and Air, why me?_ A grinning Shipwreck walked up to the Kenyan weather manipulator, carrying a bottle of white wine with a golden bow on it. He was unusually wearing a chest harness with the seal-like baby named Claudius in the other. __Why won't he give up?__

 _"How's it going, Ro?" The sailor grinned._

 _"Fine." Ororo answered, trying to keep the venom out of her voice. Jinx and Logan just looked at each other and frowned._

"Hi!" Claudius waved cutely. Storm genuinely smiled at the baby and waved back.

 _I think I can safely assume he brought the child because he knows I won't zap him. Don't want to risk harming little Claudius._ She deduced. "Hello, Claudius. How are you today?" The weather manipulator asked in a friendly tone. The seal-like baby babbled in response. "That is wonderful." She then looked up at Shipwreck, her face forming a frown. "Out of you two, the baby is the one I'm happy to see."

"You will be smilin' when I give you this!" He showed Ororo the bottle in his hand. "I got you a bottle of wine." Shipwreck happily placed the bottle of wine in the hands of the weather goddess.

Ororo glanced at the label. "Jacob's Creek Chardonnay 1991. Charmed." The white-haired mutant said sarcastically.

"Let me guess, Shipwreck. Ya got it in Ireland." Logan chuckled.

"Logan, hun, Jacob's Creek is Australian." Jinx said.

"It was recommended to me by this Irish priest I met at Craggy Island." Shipwreck grinned. "It's this tiny island off the coast of Ireland."

Ororo rolled her eyes. "I'm assuming it was one of your many drunken misadventures?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"You know me, babe." Shipwreck winked. "I meet the most interesting people. Hell, I was the inspiration for those Dos Equis ads!"

"I'm sure that's not any sort of exaggeration whatsoever." Ororo said, her voice still dripping with sarcasm. Jinx frowned in thought, but then the Japanese ninja then got hit with a flash of inspiration for a way to make things less awkward.

"Saaaaaaay, Shipwreck...Can you tell us anything about that mission in the Mekong Delta?"

"Sure thing, Jinx!" Shipwreck grinned proudly. "It was hardly anything classified. Helped take down some smugglers who were connected to Cobra." Shipwreck explained. "Those snakes won't be getting weapons from those land-lubbin' gunrunners any time soon."

"Well, that _is_ good, at the very least." Storm admitted. "Will make Cobra easier to deal with in the future."

"Don'tcha get _too_ optimistic, 'Ro." Logan grunted. "Those snakes will find someone new to supply them with personnel and weaponry."

"Yeah, but we'll deal with them again when they do." Shipwreck countered. "We won't give up until those snakes are stomped for good." He smiled at Ororo. "Heard you all were meeting our two new Misfits today."

"Yes, we were introduced." Ororo answered. "Starchild and Darkstar are quite different."

"Yup, night and day, those boys." Shipwreck chuckled. "The Blind Master had a bit of fun with Darkstar not long after the boys moved in." **(1)**

"Don't mention it around Craig, though." Jinx warned with a chuckle. "He's still a bit sore about it. Only the Blind Master has gotten away with taunting him."

"Craig has already picked a fight with Kurt." Storm told the sailor.

"Yeah, that was our fault, we should have warned you beforehand." Jinx sighed. "Craig has...issues with you guys."

"Lots of issues." Shipwreck joked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "That's an understatement, hon." He noticed Sam walk up. "Cannonball."

"Hi, Mr. Logan." He looked at Jinx. "I helped break up the catfight." A bemused Shipwreck raised an eyebrow.

"...catfight?"

"Thanks, kid." Logan nodded as Sam walked away.

"Two of our girls developed a bit of a fangirl crush on the Starchild." Ororo explained, making Logan snicker. Hank McCoy, the blue-furred Beast walked by, and could not help but overhear.

"Reminds me of when I was his age."

Logan laughed. "Yeah, right!" Henry frowned, but Jinx got his attention.

"How's Berzerker's nose, Dr. McCoy?"

"Fine, but he should not play football for a while." Beast quipped. The adults then heard blasts of lightning, and Piotr ran up.

"Have you seen Ray?!"

"Not since Sam and Bobby took him to the infirmary." Ororo answered.

"EXCUSE ME! WATCH OUT!" Paul ran past, trying not to collide into anyone.

"What on Earth-?!" Ororo exclaimed.

"Hoo boy..." Jinx winced.

"YOU GONNA DIE, YOU MOTHER$^$&#$!" Ray roared as he chased after the teenager, nearly knocking over Jinx.

"Hey!" The Joe ninja yelped, but Logan was able to catch her.

"Watch it, ya sparkplug!" Logan yelled.

"Ah, there he is." Piotr noted. He sighed as he armored up. "I had better catch him." He walked off.

"Be careful, Piotr!" Jinx waved.

"I will be fine, but thank you anyway, Jinx." The Russian mutant reassured. "His electrical powers cannot hurt me in my metal form."

"He's right." Shipwreck added. "Steel is resistant to Electric-types." The others all looked at him funny. "Eh, sorry." The sailor rubbed the back of his neck. "Trinity have gotten into Pokemon lately." Claudius started to whimper. "I'd better get him back home and feed him. Time for his bottle!" He teleported back to the Pit. Jinx frowned slightly.

 _Was there something up with his flippers?_

"Ray, get back here!" Scott exclaimed as he and Remy pursued him. "Sorry, guys!" He waved at the adults.

"Ray, you psycho! What is _wrong_ with you?!" Tabitha exclaimed as she was revealed to be another participant in the chase.

"Watch it!" Logan yelled.

"Whoa!" Shipwreck whooped as he barely managed to get out of Tabitha's way.

"Well, that was...fascinating." Beast remarked.

"GRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Craig Starr roared as he revealed himself to be the final participant in the chase. He bowled over Beast and Shipwreck as he ran.

"Geez!" Jinx yelped. "DARKSTAR! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU MANIAC!"

"DON'T CARE, GOING TO MURDER A WALKING BATTERY!" Craig roared back.

"God, that kid..." Jinx groaned as Hank and Logan helped her up. "Thanks, boys."

"You're welcome." Hank said. "He sounds like he will be a challenge for you and the Misfit program."

"He's not as bad as that normally." Shipwreck defended. "For all his faults, Darkstar does have a bit of a protective streak when it comes to Starchild." Elsewhere in the Institute, Jean Grey was walking down a hall, humming happily. She was carrying a painting canvas.

"I do hope Piotr thinks I did a good job with this one." Jean smiled as she glanced at the canvas. "I did my best to keep his tips in mind." The redhead heard a rumbling. "What the-?!" Her eyes widened.

"Hi! Sorry about this! Excuse me!" Paul yelped as he ran by. Jean blinked.

"Okay..." The redhead mumbled.

"COME BACK HERE AND DIE!" Ray roared.

"Whoa!" Jean yelped, nearly getting knocked over. "What is going on here?"

"Hi, Jean!" Gambit greeted as he ran by. "Berzerker, get over here!"

"Uhm..." Jean mmbled. "What's going on?"

"Hi Jean Ray is just trying to kill Starchild!" Scott explained quickly as he ran by.

"Oh." Jean blinked. "Wait, why? Oh, Piotr!" She held up her painting: A water mill on a river. "What do you think of my painting?"

"Very nice Jean you really are improving keep it up!" Piotr told her as he raced by.

"Thank you!" Jean waved. "Hi Tabitha!" She waved at the blonde as she ran by. Tabitha shot one back. "In any other place, this would be odd."

"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Craig Starr roared as he raced after them.

"AGH!" Jean screamed as Craig batted her aside, knocking her down and causing her to toss her painting into the air. "Oh no!" She yelped.

 _ **SHRIP!**_

The painting landed on her head. Her head went through the canvas, comically making her look like she was wearing a ruff...and that her head replaced the mill's water wheel in the painting.

"You gotta be kidding me..." The telpathic telekinetic moaned. "All that work down the drain..." Meanwhile, Paul ran into another room. He quickly closed the door behind him.

"Whoof!" Paul panted as he held his chest. "Berzerker is a great name for that guy! What's his problem?!"

"Ray can have a bit of a temper at times." A young male voice said to the hypnotist. "He normally is pretty laid-back." Paul turned and saw a young brunet boy, around twelve years old, sitting on the bed smiling at him.

 _ **Multiple. Real Name: James Arthur "Jamie" Madrox. Birthplace: Los Alamos, NM. Affiliation: X-Men, "New Mutant" Class. Powers and Abilities: Can create duplicates of himself.**_

"Oh." Paul blinked. "Hello. I'm sorry for intruding."

"It's alright." The boy hopped off the bed and held out his hand. "I'm Jamie."

"Paul Starr. I think we met a little earlier." Paul recalled as he shook Jamie's hand. "Aren't you a little...well...young to be here?"

"My powers manifested early." Jamie explained. "My parents were scientists for the Department of Energy who work in the big labs in New Mexico. They're old friends of the Professor, so he took me in when my powers came about."

"That's rather convenient."

"Yeah, it is." Jamie shrugged. "The Professor says I'm rather special. Not many mutants come into their powers as early as I did."

"What...can you do, if I may ask?" Paul asked. "The other Misfits told me about you guys, but there's quite a few of you..."

Jamie grinned. "This!" He smacked his hand into his fist a couple of times. With each impact, a couple more Jamies appeared. In a matter of seconds, to Paul's eyes, Jamie suddenly was part of a set of triplets. "Hello!" The three Jamies greeted in unison.

"Whoa!" Paul blinked with a gasp. "That is awesome!"

"Yeah, it is." The Prime Jamie grinned, then reabsorbed the clones.

"That must be really handy when you have a lot to do." Paul snickered. "I bet you could clean a room all by yourself."

"Bobby has tried to get me to do his chores for him a few times." Jamie grunted.

"Wow." Paul blinked. "That's not very nice." He perked up when he heard something. A thump.

"What was that?" A confused Jamie asked.

"Hang on." Paul told the boy. He put his ear to the door. He heard shouting and his brother roaring. "Oh, dear..."

"What is it?"

"Evidently my brother found Berzerker and is..." Paul winced. "Teaching him a lesson in his own way. I'd better calm him down." He reached out with his telepathic link. _"Craig?"_

" _What do you want, Paul?! I'm beating the snot out of this punk! That is, if this metal moron and goggled gimp will let me go!"_

" _I just want to let you know that I'm alright, bro."_ Paul 'said'. _"I'm hiding out here in Jamie's room."_

" _Who's Jamie?"_

" _He's the kid. Codenamed Multiple. Remember? The Joes told us about him."_

" _There's so damn many of these X-Men!"_ Craig 'complained'. _"How the hell did they_ _ **get**_ _so many mutants on board? Did that bald whacko use his powers on them?!"_

" _I don't think so..."_ Paul 'responded'. Jamie blinked at this.

 _What is he doing? Is he using telepathy?_

Paul visibly winced as he heard thumping and Ray yelling out. _"What was that?"_

" _Punk learning a lesson."_ Craig 'responded'. Paul rolled his eyes.

" _You really don't have to that 'Dirty Harry' stuff much anymore."_

" _Some people only learn that way, Paul."_

" _Whatever, dear brother."_ Paul 'sighed'.

"Hey, uh...you okay?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah, just talking to my brother. I think they have that whole thing taken care of." Paul smiled.

 **The Pit**

Althea Delgado had gone back to the Pit to check on one of her baby brothers. The black and blue-haired girl smiled as she looked down at the small child in the crib.

"Hello, Claudius." She greeted as she picked the boy up. Unusually, the boy had a seal-like body. Like his sisters before him, Claudius Delgado was a mutant. However, unlike his sisters before him, Claudius's mutation was painfully obvious.

"Huh?" Althea noticed some strange growths on Claudius's front flippers. They were small sharp-looking black growths. Each of the flippers had five of these odd growths, and they were arranged in a way that almost made them resemble fingers. "Claudius? Where did you get these?"

"Baba!" The baby babbled in response. Althea shifted her grip on the baby and closer examined the growths. She winced when she looked at them.

"Yeesh, those things might become sharp." She frowned, making Claudius giggle. "Yeah, I think I'm going to take you to Dr. McCoy. You remember him, right? He's that blue furry guy."

"Cookie Monster!" Claudius piped up.

"Yeah, Cookie Monster." Althea laughed. "We'd better have him take a look at these things." She used her teleporter watch to transport herself to the Xavier Institute.

 **Xavier Institute Infirmary**

"At least this time, Mr. Starr was kind enough to try not to break your nose." Beast remarked as he bandaged Ray's arm. Scott was with him.

"Crazy bastard tried to, though." Ray grumbled. "Thanks, doc."

"You're welcome." Beast smiled and waved as Ray walked off, Scott behind him.

"Maybe you should stay away from the Starchild from now on..." Scott suggested as he left as well. Beast turned around and saw Althea appear in a flash of blue light and what the blue-furred scientist swore was water-based effects.

"Hello, Ms. Delgado." Hank greeted.

"Hey, Beast." Althea waved. Claudius did so.

"Cookie Monster!" He whooped.

"He thinks you're Cookie Monster. It's the blue fur." Althea explained.

"Of course."

"I think something may be up with Claudius here." Althea told Beast. "I found these odd growths on his flippers, and I'm worried something's wrong with him. And since you know about mutations and stuff...not to mention I kind of _dread_ taking him to Airtight..."

"You wish me to take a look at him." Hank deduced.

"Well...yeah." Althea nodded. "If it's no trouble."

"I would be happy to." Beast smiled as he took the seal-like baby in his big blue hands, making Claudius giggle.

"You...aren't going to do anything that'll hurt him, right?" Althea asked with some concern.

"Oh, no." Hank reassured. "I'll be as gentle as a baby lamb."

"Well, that's good." Althea nodded. "I'll hold you to it. I gotta go corral my sisters. _Somebody_ showed them Gundam, and now they're trying to build one."

"Oh, dear." Hank frowned. "Makes one wonder where they actually get the materials to _build_ such a machine."

"I wonder that myself sometimes." Althea admitted. She then smiled at Claudius. "Now you be a good boy for the nice blue Cookie Monster, Claudie." Claudius giggled in response. "I'll be back a little later...I hope." She vanished in a flash of light. The Beast blinked.

 _Building a Gundam. What will be next from those three?_ He shook his head, then smiled down at Claudius. "Well, little one. Let's take a look at your little growths, shall we?"

 **Jamie's Room**

"So...how're liking living with the Misfits so far?" Jamie asked.

"I like it." Paul told him. "Better than living on the streets of Los Angeles...and just as utterly _wild!_ "

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah." Paul nodded with a smile. "My brother and I have seen some crazy stuff in LA. In fact, we met Doctor Strange once."

"Really? That sorcerer guy?"

"Yup!" Paul nodded, a big grim on his face. "We fought demons. It was scary...but also really cool!" Jamie's eyes bugged out.

"Wow!"

"Yeah." Paul nodded. "Craig doesn't like to talk about it, though."

"Why?"

"Well...he just doesn't." Paul shrugged. "He has his reasons, and I don't like to pry."

"What was that back there? Telepathy?" Jamie realized. "I know it. I've seen Jean and the Professor do that."

"Yup."

"Cool! What am I thinking now?" Jamie asked excitedly, tapping at his own head. Paul just shook his head.

"No idea. I have a telepathic link with my twin brother Craig. He's the only person I can hear the thoughts of."

"Oh." Jamie blinked. "That stinks."

"Not really." Paul shrugged. "I'm happy with it. I only have to hear my brother's voice in my head. If I had to hear the mental voices of everyone else in my head, I probably would go bugnuts."

"Ah, I see." Jamie rubbed the back of his head. "That probably would suck. I can't imagine how Jean and the Professor live with it."

"They probably found a way to adapt." Paul shrugged.

"Hello? Paul?" Tabitha' voice could be heard from the other side of the door. "You alright?"

"Fine, thanks!" Paul called out. "Just hanging out with Jamie here. How's Ray? Craig wasn't too hard on him, I hope."

"He's...fine." Tabitha answered. "Say, where did your brother get that nightstick? He tried to bash Ray's arm to pieces with it."

"He stole that from a cop some years ago." Paul explained. "He's wanted to get it lined with adamantium ever since he learned of it from the Joes."

"Wow."

"Yeah." Paul shrugged. "It's one of his prize possessions."

"I see. Those Joes certainly got some interesting ones when they picked you two up, huh?"

"You could say that." Paul shrugged. "So, have things calmed down?"

"Yes, they have."

Jamie quietly raised his hand. "Uh, guys? I'm still here."

"Oh, right! Sorry to be a bother, Jamie." Paul walked out of the room.

"No problem." The young clone-maker said with a wave. The Starchild left the room to see a concerned Tabitha.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Paul shrugged. "I fought demons once. That Berzerker guy is hardly frightening compared to them."

Tabitha blinked. "...Really?"

"Yeah!" Paul nodded. "If you guys ever meet Doctor Strange, you should ask him about that."

"Okay..."

"Now _that_ was scary."

"I'm sure." Tabitha smiled. "Hey listen, Paul. I want to ask you something."

"Uh, okay."

A smirk formed on her face. "How'd you like to hit this new coffee shop in town. I originally had plans to go there with Ray, but since he's now...unavailable..."

"Aw, I don't want to impose, Tabitha..."

"You're not." Tabitha insisted. "Besides, I think you're kind of cute." The sound of a door opening and closing interrupted the bombmaker, and Jamie smiled sheepishly at her. "Hell of a bit of nice timing there, shorty."

"Sorry, Tabby." Jamie apologized. "But I'm thirsty."

"You want me to get the drink for you?" Paul offered. "Trinity is around, and Althea told me about them and you..."

"It's fine. I got it, thanks." Jamie waved it off with a smile. "I can avoid them."

 **The Infirmary**

Hank McCoy sighed as he tightened the sling on Ray's arm. "The arm is not broken, but it is sprained. I recommend you take it easy on it."

"I'm just happy it's not my dominant arm." Ray noted. His face then hardened. "That Darkstar is a royal bastard. What were the Misfits _thinking_ bringing him here?!"

"To be fair, Mr. Crisp, the point of the Misfit program was to reform wayward mutant youth and show they can become productive members of society."

"The only way that psycho can be productive is if he was in a jail cell." Ray grumbled. The electrokinetic mutant heard giggling, and saw a smiling Claudius staring at him from a playpen. "What's he doing here?"

"Claudius is here because Althea asked me to examine him."

"Why, is something wrong with him?"

"No. He seems healthy, but Althea wanted me to examine him. She thinks his mutation may have taken a turn." Beast explained.

"Oh." Ray blinked. The door hissed open, and a new figure walked into the room. This one was a humanoid with dirty blond hair slicked back in a neat ponytail, green scaly skin, and matching lizard-like eyes. The figure was clad in a plain beige jumpsuit.

 _ **Xi. Real Name: Not Applicable. Birthplace: A Cobra facility in the South American jungle. Affiliation: Misfits. Physiology: Artificial Mutant Human. Powers and abilities: Superhuman agility and reflexes, invisibility, and ability to "read" DNA at a touch.**_

Xi's name came from the Roman numeral XI, as he was the eleventh in a batch of Cobra-created genetic experiments. He would meet and befriend Toad during the amphibious mutant's adventure in a jungle. The genetic experiment would eventually become one of the original Misfits. The artificial mutant smiled at Beast.

"Hello, Dr. McCoy." He greeted warmly.

"Ah, glad you received my summons." Beast shook the artificial mutant's hand.

"What's he here for?" A confused Ray asked.

"I am here to help read Claudius's DNA." Xi explained. "Althea asked me to do so to help Beast."

"Oh." Ray blinked. "That's...not going to hurt him, is it? I mean, he's a baby and all..."

"My DNA-reading power does not cause any pain." Xi assured. "All I have to do is touch someone." Claudius giggled.

"Ba! Bababuh!"

"See?"

"The answer to Claudius's little change may be in his DNA, and Xi's power could be the thing to uncover it. Xi, if you would?" Beast asked.

"Of course." The artificial mutant approached the seal-like baby.

"Uhm, Xi was created to be a soldier for Cobra, right?" Ray asked.

"The Joes believe so." Beast answered. "Likely for more delicate work. Assassinations, infiltration, and the like."

"I get the invisibility. Sneak up on enemies and all that, but why does he have the ability to 'read' DNA? How does that work, Doc?"

"I assumed that I have this ability as a way to help confirm targets." Xi theorized. He gently rubbed Claudius's head, the baby giggling happily. "Ah, I believe I have your answer, Doctor."

"Really?"

"Yes." Xi nodded. "The growths here are a normal part of Claudius's mutation. Look a the way they are arranged." Ray and Beast took a closer look.

"They're arranged...like they're fingers on a hand." Beast realized.

"Exactly." Xi noted. "These claws will be quite sharp when he gets older, but only at the tips. The rest are flexible, flexible enough that they can substitute for fingers."

"They probably would have to get pretty long for him to make a fist with those flippers." Ray noted. Xi and Beast shot him surprised looks. "Hey, I'm not a complete meathead."

"So, he's developing the equivalent of fingers." Beast smiled. "Well, Althea will be happy to hear that."

"Indeed." Xi smiled. "She feared something was seriously wrong with him."

"The fact that that kid is going to have claws freaks me out." Ray admitted. "I mean, how long until he starts getting his kicks by slashing at our legs or something like that?"

"Oh, I don't think that will happen, Mr. Crisp." Beast reassured, picking up Claudius and cradling him in his big blue-furred arms. The baby Delgado giggled in delight. "Claudius is clearly a sweet child."

"Ba ba ba!" The baby cooed, making Hank chuckle.

"He's a 'sweet kid' now, but remember who he is related to." Ray grunted. "And who he will grow up _around._ Won't be long until he becomes another crazy Misfit."

"Cookie Monster!"

 **Elsewhere in the Institute**

"WHOAAAAAAAA!" Jamie yelped as he ran for his life, a bottle of water in his hand. _I_ ** _really_** _underestimated my stealth skills here!_

"Jaaaaaamieeeeee...come give us kisses!" The tripe-chorused voices of the Trinity hit the young clone-maker's ears, making him run faster.

 _Crud crud crud someone help me Jean I know you can hear me with your telepathy HELPMEOUTHERE **GETTRINITYAWAYFROMME!**_

"Psst, Jamie!" He heard a voice loudly whisper to him. "In here!" He saw Paul wave at him from a door. "In here!" The young clone-maker ducked into the room, and Paul quickly closed the door.

"Thanks, man!" Jamie whispered.

"No problem!" Paul whispered with a smile on his own face. He put his ear to the door. The crackle of electricity could be heard rushing by, accompanied by Trinity's squealing and cooing. _Huh. You'd think those girls would use their telepathy, considering how smart they are. But then again, love can make one go mad..._

"Those girls are going to be the death of me." Jamie panted, sipping his water.

"They really adore you, huh pal?" Paul chuckled.

Jamie nodded. "Yeah. I have no idea why."

"Maybe it's your power to clone yourself." Paul suggested jokingly. "One for each of them."

"I would not be surprised." Jamie grumbled. He looked around. "This is not my room."

"Yeah, it's a closet. Pretty roomy for a closet." Paul noted.

"It's a coat closet." Jamie explained. "This house is really old. It's supposed to be the Professor's family's."

"Family manor, huh?"

"Yup." Jamie nodded. "It supposedly was in the Professor's family for over a hundred years."

"Wow." Paul blinked. "Explains why everything is so old-fashioned. I'd love to own a mansion like this one day. Maybe when I get rich from rock 'n' roll."

"Rich from rock 'n' roll?" Jamie blinked.

"Yup." Paul nodded with a grin. "My big dream is to be in a world-famous rock band."

"That sounds awesome."

"It is." Paul said. "Lance, Craig and I already jam together a lot. All we need is a drummer, and we're good to go." He then sighed. "I once knew a guy that could play some epic drums."

"How did you end up in the Misfits, anyway?"

"Well, me and my brother escaped a Cobra experimentation lab hidden in Los Angeles." Paul explained. "They'd been catching local mutants in the area. Quite a few are homeless, you see."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, it does." Paul nodded sadly. "Craig and I were among them. We ran into a pair of Joes and the other Misfits. We helped them stop Cobra and we joined the Misfits. That's the basic story." **2**

"Wow." Jamie gaped in amazement. "That is awesome."

"Yeah." Paul smiled. "We also met Doctor Strange once."

" _Doctor_ _Strange?!_ " Jamie went agape. "The paranormal investigator?! No way! What was he like?!"

"He was pretty cool!" Paul grinned. "I _so_ wanted that cape he had. It was an epic cape."

"I don't blame you. I saw that cape on TV. It looked so cool!"

"Oh yeah. It moved around on its own. It was hilarious!" Paul chuckled.

"Wow!"

"Yup." Paul nodded. "We ended up running into some demons. It was pretty radical."

"Sounds scary to me."

"It was a bit scary, yeah." Paul admitted with a nod. "But it was pretty awesome."

"I wish I could have epic adventures like that." Jamie sighed.

"You don't?" Paul blinked in confusion. "Aren't you one of the X-Men?"

"Technically, no." Jamie sighed. "I'm kind of the youngest of this group. As such, they don't let me go out and have adventures with them much. I'm still pretty much a kid, you see. I did get to help against that Apocalypse guy, but that was because it was like, a big emergency and the world was at stake." **3**

"I see." Paul nodded. "Wish I could help you there, kid."

"Yeah." Jamie sighed. "I mean, I could be just as good as any of the other X-Men."

"I'm sure you'll get your chance one day, Jamie." Paul reassured. "The other X-Men just seem to not want you to get hurt. Just because you _think_ you're ready doesn't mean you _are._ "

"Yeah, and that sucks." Jamie sighed. "I wish I could have an epic adventure."

"I'm sure you will. Your day will come, Jamie."

"Are Trinity gone?"

"I think so...they _have_ to be gone by now..." He carefully peeked out the door and looked around. "Yeah, I think they're gone now."

"Oh, thank God." Jamie wiped his brow in relief. "I can go back to my room and finish reading that mystery novel now."

"You like mysteries, huh?" Paul asked as the boys left the room they hid in.

"Yup!" Jamie nodded. "I hope to become a detective one day, like Sherlock Holmes."

"That's awesome!" Paul grinned. "If I need a case solved, I'll come to you."

"Be sure you pay me." Jamie joked. "Thanks for helping hide me from Trinity."

"You're welcome." Paul and Jamie shook hands. "Someday, you have to put your foot down with them."

"I'll try. Thanks Paul." Jamie ran off. _I gotta be more careful. Don't want those triplet errors to find me again..._ Paul watched Jamie walk away, then went on his own way. The young mutant decided to do some more exploring of the mansion's grounds.

Meanwhile, Craig Starr had gone back to the Mansion, having grown bored with laying on a tree. He was also feeling rather thirsty. The former gang member walked over to the fridge and reached for it, hoping that he'd find a nice cold drink in there.

"There are bottles of water in that fridge if you'd like one." A voice told the young mutant. "Although I would recommend next time, you _ask_ for a drink." Craig whirled around and saw Professor Xavier himself in the kitchen.

"Geez!" Craig jumped up in shock. "What the Hell, old man?! How the $%&$ did you manage to do that?! In a wheelchair, no less?!"

"I am a man of many talents, Mr. Starr." Xavier could not help but smile mirthfully, intertwining his fingers in his lap.

"Were you a freakin' ninja before you ended up in that thing?"

"Not exactly, but I did some military service in my younger years." Xavier explained.

"Heh. You don't come off as a soldier to me."

"It was along time ago." Xavier explained.

"What do you want, Baldy?" Craig scowled. "And don't bother trying to read my mind. I don't like telepaths."

"I would never enter another person's mind without their consent." Xavier assured. Craig snorted bitterly.

"Sure you wouldn't." Craig indicated he found that hard to believe. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. "You can _not_ tell me you _never_ were tempted to...have a little fun with that kind of power."

"I was young once myself."

"Professor, you know why I do not like telepaths?"

"I think I can guess, but go on." Xavier said.

"It's because of one thing." Craig pointed at his head. "You can root around in here. People with your power can easily enter another person's mind. Learn their deepest darkest secrets. And there's no defense against that."

"There are mental techniques that can be used to counter and shield the mind from telepathy." Xavier told the young mutant.

"I know." Craig nodded. "Us Misfits are given that mental training, but it's not something quite readily available to the public now, is it?"

"The techniques do require time and discipline to learn." Xavier admitted.

"Indeed." Craig took a sip of his water. "And most people with their lives today, can't exactly devote the time to it. And people may not always have the mental strength to shield themselves from telepathy. But as I said, there is a dark side to what we are."

"I am not naïve, Darkstar." Xavier said. "I am well aware that there are members of our kind that think nothing of using their gifts for selfish gain."

"Yup." Craig nodded. "I should know. I've _met_ mutants who would have no qualms about harming humans."

"I can believe that."

"So, let me ask you this, Xavier..." Craig scowled. "What the hell makes you think humanity will ever truly accept our kind? They have damn good reason to be scared of us. Look at my eye." His eye started to glow. "I can fire a laser from this eye. I could _kill_ a man just by _looking at him._ I can also use the light from this eye to force someone to do what I want to do. So could you. You could use your power to force someone to harm others, and they would not be able to stop you...or themselves."

"So, you are saying that human-mutant peace is impossible?"

"If not impossible, then damn near that." Craig walked out of the kitchen. "We're _dangerous_ , Professor. We're walking, talking WMDs. And humanity _knows_ this. If human-mutant peace is ever possible, that is the biggest hurdle. The hard part is not convincing humanity we're human, it's convincing them we're not time bombs that will go off at any second. And so far, you X-Men have done a _lousy_ job of it. People are more afraid of our kind than ever, and what have you all done to abate it? Nothing." He walked away.

"Well, let me ask you this, Mr. Starr." Xavier said. "You have said that we X-Men have done nothing to assuage humanity's fears of mutants. So let me ask you. What have _you_ done to achieve that goal?"

"Me?" Craig scowled. "I've been too busy trying to survive the streets of LA to worry about making my kind look good. I'd like to remind you that not all of us have the luxury of hiding from humanity in a fancy mansion." He walked off. "Think about that, Chromedome."

 **On the Xavier Institute's Grounds**

"I'm the king of the nighttime world..." Ray sang as he finished making some adjustments to the device he was hiding out in one of the Mansion grounds' wooded areas. It was a bit of achallenge for him thanks to one of his arms being in a sling. Despite that, Ray was able to accomplish his goal. The device itself looked like a mix of a catapult and a mousetrap, with the long arm ending in a large wooden construct shaped like a flat hand. "And you're my headlight queen...There we go." The electrokinetic ex-Morlock smiled in satisfaction. "Heh heh, The Starchild is getting his ass kicked."

"...what is this thing?" Ray turned and saw a blinking Gambit.

"Ah, it's just a little gadget I convinced Trinity to let me borrow." Ray explained. Remy frowned and crossed his arms.

"Really? Remy doubt that."

"Okay, I bribed them with candy, but that's beside the point." Ray admitted, then waved it off. "I'm gonna get that jerk Starchild."

"Remy don't think de Starchild stupid enough to just walk into the trap."

"Ah, I got that all figured out." Ray grinned. "Behold!" He pulled an object out of his jacket and showed it to Remy. The kinetic energy-wielding Cajun blinked.

"A 80s Greatest Hits CD?"

"Yup!" Ray grinned. "Paul Starr is clearly a big 80s nut! He can't resist this!"

"If he's such an 80s nut, he probably _has_ that CD already." Remy pointed out. "Can't you just...zap him?" Ray threw his hands up in the air.

"No!"

"...no?"

"No!" Ray repeated. "That's too obvious! I want this to look like an accident!"

Remy smirked. "Because if you zapped him, Tabitha would murder you."

"Bingo."

"Remy think she'd murder you if she found out you did this."

"Yeah, right. I-" Ray spotted Paul walk up. "Hide!" The electrokinetic put the CD on a small platform, grabbed Remy, and dragged him behind some large bushes. Ray reached for the lever. "Heh heh heh..." He giggled evilly. "You're gonna get yours, you sunovagun.."

"Remy got a bad feeling about this..."

"Huh?" Paul blinked at the CD. He bent down to pick it up. "80s Greatest Hits, huh? Sounds rather generic."

"Huh. Maybe he doesn't have that one." Remy whispered. Paul turned the CD around and found a sticky note on it. On the note was some writing.

 _ **To Paul Starr. Enjoy this gift from me and the other X-Men! -Ray**_

"Well, that's awful nice of him." Paul smiled. "I'll have to thank him next time I see him."

"Got him." Ray whispered as he pulled the lever. To his surprise, the trap did not go off, making the ex-Morlock's jaw drop. Paul walked away.

"...was that supposed to happen?" Remy asked.

"...NO!" Ray exclaimed. He ran out in front of the trap, and scratched his head. Remy followed behind him, walking slower. "How?! That thing should have worked! He should have been squished to Hell and back!"

Remy shrugged. "Maybe it doesn't work. Would explain why Trinity was so willing to give ya the machine."

"I don't get it!" Ray exclaimed. "What the hell?!" He angrily kicked the machine, which causing a rumbling noise. "Wha-?"

 _ **WHAP!**_

"AAAGH!" Ray screamed as the trap activated, the big hand smacking him into the ground, making Remy wince.

"Geez!" The Cajun mutant moved to help his comrade. "What happened?!"

"I don't know! Get this thing off me! My spine feels like an accordion!" Ray wailed. With some effort, Remy was able to lift the hand, allowing Ray to crawl his way to freedom. "Oh...oh God I need morphine..."

"Remy think this thing defective." Gambit muttered as he helped Ray up to his feet.

"My spine...my spine..." Ray whimpered.

"What is going on?!" Remy heard Tabitha ask as she ran up. "I was looking for Paul so I could take him to that coffee shop...what happened to Ray?"

"My spine..."

"He tried to play a little prank on de Starchild, but it turns out de guy has luck on his side."

"What kind of prank?" Tabitha blinked. She then noticed the machine peeking out from behind the bushes. The literal blonde bombshell brushed some of them aside.

"Can someone take me to the damn infirmary, _please?!_ " Ray pleaded. Tabitha gasped at the device.

"What is this thing?!" Tabitha wondered at the machine.

"Think of it as a giant mousetrap." Remy explained, making Tabitha's jaw drop.

"REMY!" Ray screamed.

"Berzerker, she can literally _blow us up!_ " Remy snapped. "Remy don't like the idea of bein' blown to bits." Tabitha growled and balled her fists.

"I don't need a degree in computer science to figure out what the hell you were planning!" Tabitha snarled. "YOU JEALOUS SON OF A-!" She leapt on the electrokinetic and started beating the stuffing out of him.

"OWOWHELPME!" The ex-Morlock wailed. "OWOWOWIWANTMYMOMMY!"

Remy sighed. "Gambit go get Beast..."

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like this chapter is finally done! Will Ray get his revenge? What further direction will Claudius's mutation take? Will Shipwreck ever take the hint? Find out in the next chapter!**_

 **1 –** **In "Dojo Rope-A-Dope"**

 **2** **\- In the thrilling fic "Rising Starrs!"**

 **3 –** In the X-Men: Evolution episode "Ascension"


	4. As Crazy As Ever!

**X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers, Special Edition!**

Chapter 4: As Crazy as Ever!

 **The Xavier Institute**

Remy LeBeau, aka the card-throwing kinetic-energy manipulating mutant known as Gambit, ran towards the Institute. He then noticed Paul Starr sitting at the base of a tree, tuning an acoustic guitar.

"Hi, uh...Gambit, right? I'm sorry, there's just a lot of you X-Guys." Paul greeted.

"Uh, hello." Remy blinked. "I was looking for de Beast."

"I have no idea." Paul shrugged. "He's the big one with the gorilla body and blue fur, right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know, I'm afraid." Paul admitted. "I've been exploring the place, getting the lay of the land. Maybe he's in the infirmary. Does someone need any help?"

"Berzerker." Remy explained. "He got...hurt. And Tabitha is laying a beating on him."

Paul's eyes widened. "Wow. Remind me never to anger her." Remy chuckled.

"Heh heh, she is explosive in more than one way." The boys' banter was interrupted by the sound of thunder. They jumped up in shock and saw the nearby window flash, and it was accompanied by the sound of a man screaming.

" ** _YEAAARRRGHHLLLUPTHULGHULRGBLABL!_** " The voice, a male sounding remarkably like Jack Nicholson, screamed. Remy and Paul looked at each other.

"Shipwreck." They said in unison.

"Why does he keep pursuing Storm?" Paul blinked in confusion. "Can't he see she isn't into him?"

"He seems like the type who's too stupid to take de hint." Remy shook his head. "I gotta get to de infirmary."

"I'll come with you." Paul got up and slung his guitar on his back. "I wanna see that infirmary anyway."

"Why?" Remy blinked as the two boys walked into the Mansion. Paul shrugged.

"As the Joes always say to us, 'always try to get the lay of the land'." The mutant musician explained as they headed to their destination.

"...considering who you live wit', dat makes a ton of sense you'd learn that."

"I'm sure you X-Men have got special training." Paul blinked.

"Pal, be lucky you don't have to be trained by de Wolverine..." Remy grumbled as they arrived at the infirmary. There, they found the Beast putting away some band-aids.

"Ah, boys." Beast smiled. "What's going on?"

"It's Ray." Remy explained. Beast sighed.

"Oh, dear. Let me guess, he's injured again?"

"...Kind of. Tabby is trying to kill him."

"Oh my stars and garters..." The blue-furred doctor sighed as he picked up a small black medical bag. "You'll have to take me to him."

"Right dis way..." Remy led Hank out of the mansion. Paul stayed behind, and took a look around.

"Huh." He mumbled quietly. "This place is rather swanky."

"What are you doing in here?" A Southern-accented voice asked. Paul turned and saw Rogue leaning against the door, her arms crossed.

"Oh, hello Rogue." Paul waved with a smile. "I was just exploring. And Remy and I were just teeling Beast about Ray."

"What about Ray?"

"Tabitha is trying to kill him. I have no idea why." Paul shrugged.

"Ah." Rogue nodded. "Ah hear ya." She eyed the guitar on Paul's back. "That's your guitar?"

"Yes." Paul grinned. "I played it when my brother and I busked back home in LA."

"Oh. Did you manage to get some money?"

"Surprisingly, yeah." Paul nodded. "We managed to make enough to get us some food at the sandwich shop. Guy would let us have a discount because he liked us. Even let us sing and play in front of it."

"Oh." The Southern mutant found herself rather curious. "I'd love to hear you play."

"Sure!" Paul grinned, pulling out his guitar. "You know any Heart?"

Rogue smirked. "Ah'm from the South. You tend ta hear a _lot_ of classic rock there." Paul took a seat on one of the beds, and put his guitar in a playing position.

"Okay..." The mutant musician smiled cheekily. "Let's hear you sing 'Crazy on You'." Meanwhile, Remy had walked back to the mansion.

 _Well, dat's all taken care of._ The Cajun mutant thought as he walked into the building. He then heard Rogue's singing. "Huh?" He headed towards the infirmary, and saw a sight that made his jaw drop. Paul Starr was strumming Heart's 1976 song "Crazy on You". Rogue herself was singing along. _You gotta be kidding!_ The two ended their impromptu jam, and the Gothic Belle did something Remy rarely saw her do.

She was laughing.

 _Hmmm..._ Remy thought. _Rogue was singing earlier, and ol' One-Eye was right about her having a good singing voice..._

"That was fun!" Paul chuckled. "You're one heck of a singer, Rogue!"

"Uh, thanks."

"You should become a singer. You got the pipes that could burn up the charts!"

"Don't have much to sing about, Starchild." Rogue said. "Not since Ah got mah powers."

Paul winced. "Oh, I heard about that. You can't touch anyone, right?" Rogue nodded. "Well, that sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"Have the X-Men found a way to help with that?" Paul asked. Rogue shook her head.

"Nothing so far." She said. "It's not really fair. Almost everyone else here gets powers they can shut off, except for me. Ah mean, technically, Scott can't either, but his powers don't keep him from being able to see."

"Well, I can't imagine he can't see colors." Paul grinned awkwardly. "I wish I could help. Maybe they could build a gadget or something like that. I met Dr. Strange once. Maybe he could help. He might know some magic spell or make some potion that could fix your little power problem." He waggled his fingers for emphasis.

"Ah dunno if it's wise to mess about with magic like that."

"Ah, it'd be fine." Paul shrugged with a smile. "Dr. Strange is a professional. He's no quack."

"With a name like Dr. _Strange,_ I'd be concerned."

"I think it's English." Paul thought. **1**

"I highly doubt it's an actual surname, Starboy." Rogue snorted.

"Truth can be stranger than fiction."

"Boy, am _Ah_ familiar with that." Rogue grumbled.

"I really do hope they can help with your powers, Rogue." Paul said sincerely. "It doesn't seem right that you can't touch."

"Yeah, it ain't." Rogue shook her head.

"If it is any consolation, I think you're quite the singer. So, there's that."

"Thank you, Starchild." Rogue smiled. "Ah won't bother ya anymore."

"It was no bother at all, Rogue." Paul smiled as she walked away. "Poor girl should be the subject of a blues song..." Unknown to them, Remy had watched the whole conversation with a slack jaw. The Cajun mutant angrily clenched his fists and stomped off. Inside the mansion, Craig was looking at a painting that was hanging on a wall. He was studying the person depicted in the painting.

 _Just...who_ _ **is**_ _this guy?_ Craig frowned. _I was told this place was old money. Maybe it was a previous owner? And I wonder how old this house is?_ The young mutant was dragged out of his thoughts by the sound of an explosion. "The hell is that noise?" _In this insane asylum, it could be anything._

"AAAAAAAGH!" He heard a pair of male voices scream. Craig blinked as he saw a pair of young men ran by. Craig _had_ read some of the Joes' dossiers on the X-Men. As a result, he identified the boys as Roberto da Costa and Robert "Bobby" Drake, aka Sunspot and Iceman.

"What the fu-!"

"COME BACK HERE, YOU TWO!" A female voice roared. A girl chased after them. She was a brunette tanned girl, and she was tossing fireballs. Craig recognized her as Amara Juliana Olivians Aquilla, aka Magma. "IM GOING TO BURN YOU BUTTHEADS SO BAD IT'LL MAKE HADES SEEM LIKE THE ARCTIC!" Craig just watched this chase.

"...Yup. Just like the Pit." Craig shook his head. "An asylum run by the inmates." He then noticed a purple blur swooping by. "Huh?" He looked around as he tried to follow the blur. "What was that?!" _The was certainly no damned bird!_ The blur seemed to cackle as it slowed down. Craig's eyes widened.

"Heh heh heh..." The small purple dragon called Lockheed seemed to cackle.

"HOLY %&$^!" Craig yelled. He reflexively fired his eye laser at the dragon.

"Yipe!" Lockheed deftly dodged the laser by doing a daring loop-de-loop.

"HEY!" A female voice exclaimed. Craig turned around and saw an angry Kitty Pryde marching towards him. "Like, who do you think you are, trying to fry my dragon?!"

"Your _what?!_ " Craig explained. "You _own that thing?!_ "

"Yes, he's totally my dragon!" Kitty exclaimed, waving a finger at Craig. "And you have no right to like, try to blast him like that!"

"He startled me!" Craig exclaimed. "You don't see a purple dragon and _not_ get freaked out!"

"He's not scary!" Kitty exclaimed as Lockheed flew to her. She pointed at something on the small dragon's neck. "I even have a collar for him and everything." Craig noted a tag on the collar. He narrowed his eyes to read it.

"Hello, my name is Lockheed. If I am lost, please return me to Katherine Pryde, c/o the Xavier Institute." Craig noted that the tag also had the Institute's phone number and address on it. He blinked in disbelief. He knew the X-Men were nuts, but this? This girl had a _dragon,_ and she had put a collar on it like it was a dog! "How?"

"Yeah, I was totally freaked out, too." Kitty admitted, scratching Lockheed's chin. "But now, I can't imagine not having him around." The dragon seemed to almost _purr_ in response to the scratching.

"How the hell did you even _get_ a dragon?!" Craig exclaimed as the purple creature landed on Kitty's shoulder.

"Like, that is a story for you." Kitty explained. She then smiled proudly. "His name is Lockheed."

"Heh." The dragon snorted. Craig blinked at him.

"I still can't believe that is a real dragon."

"Like, as real as you or I."

Craig sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I...should not be surprised. My brother and I fought demons once, so freakin' _dragons_ should not surprise me." Kitty's jaw dropped.

"You, like...fought actual _demons_ once?"

"Blame Dr. Strange." Craig grumbled. "That crazy old man had been dealing with some demonic infestation in Los Angeles."

"Wow. I thought that guy was just some, like, weird dude who claimed to be a paranormal investigator and occult expert."

"He is all that and then some." Craig grumbled. "Paul and I got dragged into that madness. He wanted to help, but I wanted to stay the hell out of it."

"Sounds to me like your brother wants to be a superhero."

Craig rolled his eyes. "He also sees himself as a rockstar in the making."

"Yeah, I saw him jam with Lance. That was awesome. You think he's going to form a band?"

"He wants to." Craig shrugged. "Me, I'm more ambivalent about it. Paul and I played together on the streets of LA...but we did that so we could eat."

"You play music, too? That's, like, awesome!"

"Yeah, I play bass. I was taught how by a fellow gang member." Craig explained.

"Oh. You still...friends with him, or..."

"No, he's dead." Craig scowled. "I'd rather _not_ talk about it."

"I'm totally sorry to hear that." The phasing mutant decided to change the subject. "I still can't believe you fought actual demons."

"And now I saw a dragon. And considering the crazy things you X-Men have seen, and the fact that you can pass through things, you shouldn't judge, Pryde." Craig pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I thought having this damn star on my face and getting superpowers would be the craziest thing about my life."

"I dunno, I think that star makes you look totally cool." Kitty shrugged.

"Please."

"Seriously, I think it does." Kitty shrugged. "Although, your brother's is cool. Makes him look cuter."

"We look exactly the same, just have different birthmark colors." Craig grunted.

"Yeah, but his purple birthmark makes him look totally cute."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Of course. I'll never get why girls moon over my goofy brother so much." Kitty chuckled.

"He's cute."

"We're identical twins. We look exactly the same, just the birthmarks are different colors."

"It's also, like the way you carry yourselves." Kitty explained. "Like, Paul has a swagger. He's confident, and totally a bit showy. You're clearly like, more aggressive and fearsome."

"Yeah, whatever."

"See what I mean?" Kitty pointed out. "Like the way you carry yourself. It's totally aggressive. People can pick that up about you."

"Got plenty of reasons to be." Craig rolled his eyes. "I'm going somewhere else." He eyed Lockheed, who waved at him. "And yeah, the dragon." Kitty watched him walk away.

"I think he just needs to get used to us. He'll like, totally be seeing a lot more of us in the future." She said to Lockheed.

"Heh." The purple dragon nodded in agreement. Outside the mansion, Rogue and Paul had been walking and talking.

"You _really_ think Ah could be a pro singer?"

"Yeah!" Paul nodded eagerly. "Heck, if I had a record label, I'd sign ya!"

"Ah don't know..." Rogue sighed. "Ah don't think Ah can handle that whole thing with the crowds and all...especially with mah powers."

"Yeah, that _is_ a problem..." Paul admitted, putting his finger on his chin in thought. "I wish there was a way that could be relieved..."

"The Professor has suggested that mah powers haven't 'matured', whatever that means..."

"Maybe it means your powers haven't reached adulthood yet, heh heh." Paul joked weakly, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, I dunno either." Paul shrugged. "All I know is, it doesn't seem fair that you can't touch anyone."

"Yeah, it does suck." Rogue nodded.

 _Okay..._ Remy held up a net. _All Remy has to do is toss this net and de Starchild will get de shock of his life, heh heh..._ The Louisianan mutant had found the net in Beast's lab, something he was working on as a potential extra weapon to use against the Sentinels. When the net covered its target, the target would get a nasty shock. It wasn't powerful enough to really damage a Sentinel, but it was effective against a human. Not enough to kill them, but they would be twitching for a while. The Cajun mutant carefully positioned himself and tossed the net. His eyes then widened when he realized the net was about to fall on Rogue. He clenched his teeth, grabbed his head, and mentally erupted with every curse he knew of.

"Hey!" Rogue exclaimed as the net fell on her.

"Oh, geez!" Paul gasped. "Hang on, Rogue! I'll help you get it off ya!" He moved to help get the net off a struggling Rogue when.

 _ **BZZZZZT! BZZZT!**_

"Yeow!" Paul yelped as the net started erupting with electrical power, knocking him back.

"GYAHHHHGRUBLHELBLMHEHATEMEGBUL!" Rogue blabbered as she got shocked. She gritted her teeth and angrily threw the net off. She panted as she shook off the electricity's effects, her brown-and-white hair looking like a wild mane. Paul noticed one of the wild strands of her hair was on fire. He carefully licked his fingers, picked up some dirt, and doused the flame.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." Rogue panted. "Yeah...it'll take more than a little shock to take me down. Who threw that net?"

"Beats me." Paul said as he and Rogue looked up at the roof.

"Gambit better get de hell out of here..." He muttered as he scrambled to get out of there, but he tripped and ended up falling off the roof, making him yell.

"Hang on!" Rogue flew up and caught the falling Cajun, then placed him on the ground.

"Thanks, chere." Remy grinned. Both Paul and Rogue looked at him suspiciously. "What?"

"What were you doing up there?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah." Paul added. "Rogue gets caught in a shock net, and then you fall off the roof. I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but you don't need to be one to see something funny is up."

"Uhhhh, Gambit was just checking de satellite dish."

"It's not on that side of the house." Rogue said. She growled and held up the net. "Did you throw this at me?"

"Uhhhh..." Gambit's face paled under Rogue's glare. He tugged his collar nervously. "Remy can neither confirm nor deny dat!" He ran off like a bat out of hell.

"GET BACK HERE!" Rogue screamed as she gave chase. "YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?! LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE THIS HERE SHOCK NET!"

"Remy didn't mean it, chere!" He screamed. "Remy didn't mean it at all!"

"COME BACK HERE, YA YELLOW-BELLY COWARD!" Rogue yelled. Paul blinked as he watched the Gothic Belle pursue Gambit.

"Man, Remy LeBeau is weird." The young musician shrugged and went on his way. He noticed Lance nearby, lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. He had his hands behind his head. "Hey there, Lance. Whatcha doing?"

"Huh? Ah, just looking up at the sky." The earth-shaker explained.

"Cool, can I join ya?"

"Knock yerself out." Lance said. Paul laid down next to him, and the two boys just spent a few minutes just quietly staring up at the sky. They noticed some clouds floating in the sky.

"Hey, Lance." Paul pointed at one of the clouds. "That cloud looks like a guitar." Lance looked at the cloud.

"Hey, yeah." The geokinetic chuckled. He pointed at another cloud. "That one looks like Kitty." The two boys continued pointing up at various clouds, talking about what they looked like. Amusingly, Lance kept saying much of the clouds he saw looked like Kitty.

"You really got Kitty on the brain, huh?" Paul pointed out.

"...I guess..."

"What about her got into your head like that?" Paul asked curiously.

"You ever heard of Deerfield, Paul?"

"No."

"Yeah, I expect that." Lance nodded. "It's a suburb of Chicago, some miles north from there. Kitty and I are from there."

"I see."

"She was my first crush." Lance explained.

"So, how did you end up both in Bayville?" Paul asked. Lance winced.

"It's...painful. I'd rather not talk about it." He said. Paul nodded in understanding. It was fine. He could talk about it when he was comfortable. No point forcing it as far as he was concerned. "You want to go for a ride around town? This is your first time around Bayville."

"I suppose." Paul shrugged. "It would be nice to see the place."

"I don't want to warn you, there's not a lot to see." Lance warned as the two boys got up to their feet.

"Oh, I doubt that." Paul smiled. "Even the sleepiest towns have something going on. It just may not be something you enjoy. I've heard places in Upstate New York are very fond of craft fairs and the like."

"Exactly. Boring."

"GIVE HIM BACK!" A woman's voice roared. "GIVE HIM BACK!" Lance and Paul looked around in confusion, then at each other.

"Wanda." They both deduced.

"What is she screaming about?" Paul blinked.

"Knowing Wanda, it could be anything." Lance groaned. A blue blur raced by, cackling like a madman. "...Pietro."

"Oh, geez..." Paul groaned, facepalming. "He took her cat doll again, didn't he?" A motorcycle raced by, ridden by a screaming Wanda, who was using one hand to throw hexbolts at the speedster.

"GIVE ME MR. STUPID BACK!" Wanda screamed like a banshee. Mr. Stupid was a small stuffed black cat, given to her as a gift by Althea Delgado when she first joined the Misfits. Amazingly, the Wolverine was pursuing them on foot.

"GET HER OFF MY BIKE!" Logan yelled as he chased after them on foot. He stopped when he saw Paul and Lance. "What the hell, you two?! Why are you just standing there like a pair of poles?! You could have helped!"

"Oh, no no no no nooooooo..." Lance waved his hands quickly. "Nooo way! I'm not dumb enough to get in the path of an angry Scarlet Witch. Pietro may be a glutton for punishment from her, but not us, man. All the money in the world would not convince me to get in her way."

"Yeah. She can be scary when she's angry." Paul added. Logan facepalmed in disbelief.

"Yer kidding."

"Nope." Lance said.

"You didn't even have to go _near_ her, you rockhead!" Logan snapped at Lance. "You could have used yer powers to knock her off the bike!" He glared at Paul. "And _you_ could have used _your_ hypnosis to calm her down!" Paul visibly winced.

"Wanda is a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them!" Lance argued. "She figures out that I did it, she'll turn on me and hand me my own butt! And I _like_ my butt right where it is!"

"I...don't like using my hypnotic powers on people." Paul admitted. "It makes me a bit uncomfortable using that power. Taking over people and making them do stuff and all that." Logan groaned and facepalmed.

"You two are useless." The Canadian mutant grumbled. "Fine. I'll go find someone else to help me out." Lance and Paul watched Logan run off.

"Good luck finding someone crazy enough to help you!" Lance called out.

"Hope Wanda doesn't kill him." Paul said.

"So do I, man. So do I." Lance sighed. The two boys heard huffing and puffing. They turned their heads and noticed Jamie Madrox running towards them.

"Hi, Jamie." Paul greeted with a warm smile.

"What're you doing here?" Lance asked.

"I'm fleeing from Trinity, and I need to hide."

"Found you again, huh?" Paul guessed. Jamie nodded, and Lance chuckled. Paul looked at Lance. "Hey, maybe there's something cool going on in town. We can check it out and we should bring him with us."

"Normally, I'd say no. But in this case...yeah, sure I suppose." Lance shrugged.

"Hang on, let me see if there's anything cool going on in town." Paul pulled his phone out of his pocket. It was in a protective case that Paul had painted purple and put black and silver star-shaped stickers on it.

"Hey, that phone case is pretty cool!" Jamie grinned. "Where'd you get it?"

"I made it." Paul smiled. "Well, I took a plain black case, painted it, and added the stickers."

"He's a creative sort." Lance smirked.

"Nothing wrong with that." Paul told him sagely. "Sometimes, I think the world would be a better place if creative spirits were more encouraged than lust for destruction."

"That can easily go to hell in a handbasket, Paul." Lance countered.

"Yeah, can you debate this later?" Jamie pleaded. "I need to hide!"

"I found something!" Paul announced happily. "Turns out this band called the Mercy Killers are going to be performing at the Bayville Auditorium."

This peaked Lance's interest. "Really?"

"Yeah, maybe we can go see them." Paul grinned. "I saw quite a few bands live as a kid."

"That sounds awesome." Jamie agreed with a nod.

"Alright, I'll get my Jeep." Lance said.

 **Bayville Auditorium**

A tall slim African-American man stood on the stage, looking over at the instruments. He had a small Afro, and his eyes were covered by a pair of silver-rimmed sunglasses. He wore a blue suit with a white shirt. He smiled at the display of the instruments. The bass drums had white covers with the words "The Mercy Killers" on them in 1970s style lettering.

Antoine Delsoin could not help but feel a bit proud. His band, the Mercy Killers, were going to give this little upstate town the biggest show they ever had witnessed. And he himself was going to make one heckuva profit from it...in the form of people's riches. For he wasn't just a singer, he was also the super-criminal known as the Hypno-Hustler. He and his band would use special equipment in their music to hypnotize audiences and steal their belongings.

"I am so ready for this."

"I'm ready to get some money myself." A voice told him. Antoine noticed the source: A Caucasian man with long brown hair held back by a blue headband. He wore a pair of scuffed blue jeans, a black t-shirt bearing the famous prism and rainbow logo of the Pink Floyd album _The Dark Side of the Moon,_ and a sleeveless denim jacket with fringe on it _._ He also had a gold chain around his neck, and his face was decorated by a handlebar moustache.

This man was David Alan Angar, aka Angar the Screamer. An activist-turned supervillain, Angar had a powerful sonic scream, able to cause nightmarish hallucinations in anyone that hears it. He got this power thanks to an experiment conducted on him in jail for an experimental cancer treatment. He had battled Daredevil a couple of times, but had been on the run since. "I hope your little scheme works out."

"Oh ye of little faith." Antoine grinned. "I'm telling you. When we're done here, we'll be rich beyond our wildest dreams."

"We'd better." David grumbled. "I am putting my rep on the line working with you, man. Other villains laugh at you, you know."

"Some rep." Antoine snorted. "All you did is fight Daredevil a couple of times."

"But at least people take _me_ seriously." David grinned. "People think you're a joke."

"Hey, my music can do the same thing your voice can: Mess with people's heads." Antoine scowled. "Yet _you_ get taken seriously."

"Because you need tech." David grinned. "I got it innate, pal."

"You ain't a mutant."

"Still, I don't need all this to bring the nightmares."

"Well, some of us aren't so fortunate." Antoine grunted.

"Well, I gave Daredevil quite a fight. When you faced Spider-Man, he laughed at your costume. Seriously. You looked like a relic from the Disco era!"

"Gimme a break, man! It was a prototype of new stage gear!"

"You boys done with your posturing?" A female voice chuckled as the source walked up to them. She was a slim redhead dressed in a pink t-shirt with blue jeans. Melissa "Mimi" Gold, like David Angar, was an enhanced human. A test subject of a Roxxon experiment, her vocal chords were bionically enhanced, allowing her to create powerful sonic screams and various effects depending on the note she screams. **2**

"Yeah sure, babe." David smiled as he gave her a kiss. "Just having a little fun with the Hypno-Hustler here."

"Yeah, havin' a real comedy festival here." Antoine rolled his eyes.

"So, we're really going to loot this audience?" Mimi asked.

"Lootin' the whole town, baby! I'm feeling ambitious tonight!" Antoine grinned, rubbing his hands.

"Hopefully not _overly_ ambitious." David sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm still worried about the X-Men. It is known they hang out here. What if they show up?"

"No problem!" Antoine grinned. "We use the crowd. Those X-Punks will concentrate more on preventing people getting hurt, allowing us to grab stuff and get out." Both Mimi and David blinked at that.

"That...that is actually pretty smart." Mimi admitted.

"Next thing you know, you'll want us to form some kind of team." David snickered.

"Hey, why not?" Antoine shrugged. "All three of us use sonics to raise some hell. Why not band together." He grinned widely. "We'd be unstoppable!"

"You... _really_ fell like you have something to prove, huh?" Mimi snorted.

"Can you blame me, Goldie?!" Antoine scowled. "I'm tired of being laughed at! I'm tired of the jokes on the Internet about that whole thing with Spider-Man!" Mimi rolled her eyes.

"Dude, people are going to make fun of you. Deal with it."

"Mimi, be nice." David told her. "As we said earlier, we're in. We just have legit worries, that's all."

"Guys, don't worry." Antoine grinned. "I got this all planned out! The X-Men get their butts kicked, and we get rich. And this is all we have to do..."

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like we got some villains a-plottin'! What insanity will happen next? Will Gambit be able to escape Rogue's wrath? Will Craig ever get used to the craziness? How will Hypno-Hustler, Angar the Screamer, and Screaming Mimi pull off their scheme? Find out in the next chapter!**_

1 - "Strange" is an English surname, I believe.

2 - Remember these three from "X-Men, Meet the Starr Brothers Prelude: Meet the Villains"?


	5. Trouble Comes to Bayville!

**X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!**

 **Disclaimer: "I hid it because he hurt me with it." - Alex Fasciane, _The Completionist_**

Chapter 5: Trouble Comes to Bayville!

 **Bayville**

Angar and Screaming Mimi looked up at the bar.

"Why the hell do we have to do this at this dump?" Mimi grumbled. "I can think of better places to test this thing out than this ugly eyesore." She glanced at the device under a tarp. "I actually feel sorry for this device, it having to be used here."

"Eh, I've seen worse." Angar shrugged.

"... _Where?_ " Mimi gaped. "My God, if lightning struck this place and burned it down, it would be seen as a favor to the world."

"Well, what better place to test this thing out than in this place, then?" Angar shrugged. "Let's get this over with. The Hustler wants us to make sure these work."

"They'd better. We've been planting them all over the damn town." Mimi grumbled. She made sure her blonde wig was in place. The two villains had wisely disguised themselves as blue-jumpsuited deliverymen so they would not raise an alarm. "Man, I hate this wig."

"I think it looks good on you."

"Hate the color, mostly. I'd do with white, with pink at the bangs. That would look pretty cool."

"I can see you pulling that off." Angar agreed. "You got the special earplugs in?"

"Of course."

"Let's get going." The two lugged the tarp-covered device into the bar. They looked around at the dingy interior. There were not many people in the bar, but that was not a surprise. The peak hours were still a ways away. Still, there were enough to test the device. The bartender looked up at the two.

"Who're you?" He asked.

"Just a couple of deliverymen." Angar answered.

"I didn't order anything." The bartender glared in suspicion.

"It's a gift." Mimi explained as she put the tarped device down.

"From whom?"

"The giver wishes to remain anonymous." Angar explained as he and Mimi removed the tarp. The bartender blinked in confusion at the sight of the device. It resembled a rectangular loudspeaker, standing about three feet tall, in a cabinet of what looked like dark brown wood. The loudspeaker had three woofers visible, naturally arranged in a perfect vertical line. On top of it was a black amplifier, with some dials and a small display on it. One of the patrons looked up at blinked.

"What's with the loudspeaker?" He blinked at the bartender. "You getting' some live music here finally, Vinnie?"

"No." Vinnie answered. "Who gave us this loudspeaker?"

"As we said, an anonymous benefactor." Angar grinned, pulling out a microphone from a pocket in his jumpsuit.

"What're you guys, singing delivery men?" The bartender chortled in disbelief.

"Well, my associate here does have quite the voice." Angar grinned. "Hit it!" Mimi turned on the amp, smirked, and broke into The Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz". As the disguised villainess sang, something insane happened. The patrons and the bartender started to act out of control. Some danced, some sang along, and some...started brawling. The bartender started headbanging. Angar left the bar and made a call on his phone.

"Hey, Hustler. They work. Fire 'em up."

 **On the road to Bayville**

"On the road again..." Willie Nelson's voice crooned from the radio of the Jeep as it rolled down the road. In the driver's seat sat one Lance Alvers, who was paying attention to the road while singing along softly to the song. Next to him in the passenger seat was Paul Starr, who was wearing some sunglasses, and sipping on a milkshake. In the backseat sat one Jamie Madrox, who was sipping a soda and chowing down on some chicken nuggets.

"Thanks for stopping and getting McD's, you guys." Jamie said.

"Sure thing, Jamie." Paul smiled. "I was in the mood for a milkshake."

"Yeah, I needed a burger myself." Lance agreed. "By the way, you guys got any plans in town?"

"Admittedly, no." Paul answered sheepishly. "Maybe there will be something fun in town before we go see the rock 'n' roll show."

"Good luck with that, Paul!" Lance chuckled. "Bayville can be a pretty sleepy town. Well, unless you're into farmer's markets and craft fairs and the like."

"There's the arcade/restaurant in town." Jamie suggested. "They got this awesome Neo Geo arcade cabinet. It's got, like, six games in it."

"You can download those very same games into a Wii, kid." Lance explained. "I should know. I got a bunch."

"Cool!" Jamie grinned. "You got _Fatal Fury?_ "

"Kid, I am the _king_ of _Fatal Fury!_ "

"Except when Wanda kicks your butt." Paul snickered. Lance grumbled.

"Only when she's playing as Kim Kaphwan. I'd love to see her play as someone else." He started to mutter under his breath. "Big bad goth girl thinks she's so awesome..."

"Don't you main Andy Bogard?" Paul remembered.

"Yeah, but I've been practicing with Big Bear right now." Lance smirked. "I am going to surprise Wanda so bad next time we face off."

"You'd think she'd be working on another character herself as well." Paul stated.

"God, I hope not." Lance grumbled. Jamie watched this with amazement. His big memory of Wanda was the girl who single-handedly wrecked the entire X-Men team that first faced her. So, the thought of her being a skilled gamer was a shock. **1**

"You Jamie, you awake back there?" Paul asked with a smile, noting Jamie's expression. "You're gaping like a fish."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Jamie shook his head. "I just...the Scarlet Witch like video games? I always got the impression that she, well..." He looked around nervously. "Didn't like anything."

"She's not that bad, Jamie." Paul reassured. "She's been getting herself some help for her issues."

"Yeah, kid." Lance added. "She's calmed down a lot since that time she kicked the X-Geeks' heads in single-handedly." He then snickered. "Although that was awesome. Yeah, we were scared of her, too. I will admit that. But it was hilarious, looking back."

"Still can't believe Magneto locked her away instead of helping her. No wonder she got so many issues." Paul shook his head sadly.

"You surprised?!" Lance sneered. "He was always a piece of crap. My DNA is permanently screwed up thanks to him." He sighed. "Not like I ever really thought much about having kids anyway."

"Ah, yeah." Paul frowned. "If it's any consolation, I am sorry."

"You got nothin' to apologize for, man. Wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, I wish I could help, though."

"You ain't a geneticist, so don't worry about it." Lance said. "Besides, I take my pills, and I know Airtight has been trying to find something more permanent."

"Hope he does, man."

"So do I." Lance sighed. "But if there's no way to fix me up...I've accepted it."

"Well, I do hope they manage to fix you up." Paul said to the earthshaker. Jamie watched this quietly. The young X-Man had witnessed many a squabble amongst the X-Men and Misfits over his time in the Institute. However, seeing two of the Misfits like this...it was kind of strange. He had never really seen any of the Misfits acting like this, especially Lance. The young mutant was left with many a thought in his head.

 _Aw man, I feel like an intruder right now..._ "Hey, um...I'm sorry too, man." Jamie piped up quietly.

"Eh, not your fault, kiddo." Lance said. "Magneto did this to me. Not the X-Geeks." Paul licked his lips and sipped his milkshake.

"Hey, how much longer until we get to the auditorium?" The Starchild asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Not much longer." Lance answered. "You _are_ aware that they aren't going to let us hang around backstage, right?"

"Yeah, I know." Paul nodded. "I just want to see the auditorium while the Mercy Killers set up. I've never really heard of them before."

"Me neither." Lance said as Paul did some fiddling on his phone. "I hope they don't suck. Nothing ruins a show worse than a sucky band."

"Hey, a supervillain attack can ruin a show." Jamie said.

"Eh, but the fact that you can see a superhero and supervillain duke it out evens it out." Lance countered.

"According to what I can find here, the Mercy Killers are not a major band." Paul explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah. There are weird rumors around them, though."

"What kind of rumors?" Lance blinked.

"That people would occasionally find stuff they brought missing after shows. Like wallets, jewelry, and stuff."

"Huh." Lance noted. "That is weird."

"There's gotta be a pattern to that." Jamie said. "I think the Mercy Killers are thieves."

"You do?" An amused Lance asked.

"Makes sense." Jamie explained. "Paul _did_ say that people tended to discover their stuff missing after occasional shows..."

"It actually _does_ make some sense." Paul agreed. "An audience goes to a show and all their stuff is missing, who else could have taken said stuff? The performers have to have done it."

"Yeah, but _how,_ Paul?" Lance asked. "If the Mercy Killers _did_ rob people during their shows, how would they have pulled it off without someone noticing at some point?"

"That's the mystery." Jamie smirked. "We should take a look into this..."

"I dunno, it could be dangerous." Paul winced. "Maybe we should call it in..."

"And what if the Mercy Killers are innocent?" Lance countered. "We'll wreck their show, and look like fools!"

"Maybe we can check it out ourselves." Jamie suggested. "Make sure they're on the up and up." Lance and Paul looked at each other briefly.

"That's...actually a good idea." Lance admitted. "Okay. The three of us will check it out. We're a small group, so we can do it quietly." He looked at Paul. "Paul, I know you don't like to use your hypnotic powers, but..."

"As long as you don't ask me to make anyone do anything bad, I can live with it." Paul sighed.

"I'll keep that in mind, man." Lance said. "Alright, let's go look." He looked at Jamie. "Kid, you're under Misfit command now. So you gotta do what I say."

"Uh...okay." Jamie nodded.

"Okay, what?" Lance asked in a drill sergeant-like tone.

"Sir, yes sir!" Jamie saluted, making Paul snicker. Lance smirked.

"Let's roll." The boys drove into town. They eventually arrived at the auditorium.

 **Misfit Manor, The Pit**

Pietro Maximoff placed a box on the table filled with various items. He winced as he rubbed an itchy spot on his head, which had bandages around it. He had his laughs with his sister...albeit he got the tar knocked out of him...and ran over. But he was a fast healer thanks to his powers. And his mind was already hard at work coming up with some new ways to mess with he and the Misfits' old rivals: The X-Men.

"Okay, then..." The speedster looked at the box. "Better make sure we have everything."

"What _are_ you doing?" Fred asked as he walked up to Pietro, a ham in his hand.

"Fred, is that the emergency ham from the fridge?" Pietro asked. "You know how the Joes get about you eating the emergency ham."

"No, it's _my_ ham." Blob took a bite of the ham. "I gotta get my own fridge..."

"Oh, okay." Pietro nodded. "Here." The mutant handed Blob a clipboard. "Read this list out so I can make sure I have everything."

"Uh...okay..." Fred blinked as he looked at the clipboard. "Grappling hook?" Pietro rifled through the box.

"Check."

"Rope."

"Check."

"Tacks."

"Check."

"Motor oil."

"Check."

"Rubber chicken."

"Check."

"Toy truck."

"Check."

"Herring?" Fred blinked.

"Check."

 _That thing is going to stink so bad..._ "Hockey goalie mask."

"Check." Pietro put it over his face.

"Toilet paper..."

"Check."

"Eggs."

"Check."

"...African tribal mask?" Fred blinked. "Where are you going to get one of those?"

"I thought Storm may have one, being from Kenya and all, but I..." The silver-haired speedster showed a rare nervousness. "I...was afraid to ask. Didn't want to get fried."

"So, no check?"

"I don't _need_ it. I can adapt."

"Okay." Fred nodded. "Banana peel."

"Check."

"Tarantula."

"Check." Pietro held up a plastic replica of said spider.

"Metallica record."

"Got a Megadeth one, but it'll do." Pietro held up a vinyl record: Megadeth's 1986 album _Peace Sells...but Who's Buying?_ "Lance says this one is really good."

" _Rust in Peace_ is really good, too." Fred added. "Megaphone?"

"Check."

"Shurikens?"

"Check. Had a heck of a time getting these out of the dojo."

Fred noticed something familiar about the small projectile weapons. "Those look like Xi's."

"His can explode."

"That's why he doesn't want you messing with them." Fred grumbled. "Cherry bombs."

"Check."

"Fake vomit."

"Check."

"Moose head?"

"There's one in the old Brotherhood House. I can grab that."

"Pietro, what do you plan to _do_ with all this stuff?"

"Come on, Fred. I know you aren't as dumb as everyone thinks you are..." Fred frowned at that remark. That, as far as the Texan mutant was concerned, was a bit of a low blow. Sure, he wasn't "book-smart", be still was smart in his own way. "...but even you can figure out what I plan to do here." A smiling Pietro lightly tapped Fred's cheek. "I'm gonna pull some big ol' pranks on the X-Geeks. I got some great new prank ideas, and I cannot _wait_ to test them on them. Can you _imagine_ the looks on their faces? I'll be a Misfit legend!"

"Or maybe their first casualty." Fred muttered, but went back to the list. "Banana peels?"

"Check."

"Stereo speakers?"

"In my room."

"Amplifiers?"

"Lance has one."

"He doesn't like you touching his amp."

"I know his preferred settings by heart. I can change it back and he won't even notice."

Fred sighed and went back to the list. "Jet plane. Wait, jet plane?!"

"I'll have to scrap that idea." Pietro grunted. "Turns out GI Joe doesn't just loan out jets."

"Pietro, as amusing as this little cry for attention because of the neglectful way Magneto treated you is going to be, I must warn you. I don't know _exactly_ what you are planning, but I get the feeling that this is going to be a complete and utter disaster."

"Fred, Fred, Fred. Oh, ye of little faith." A smiling Pietro lightly tapped Pietro's cheek. "I've pranked the X-Geeks lots of times before. It'll be fine." The Blob rolled his eyes and got back to reading.

"Firecrackers."

"Check."

"Old t-shirt."

"Old, and ugly as sin." Pietro crinkled his nose as he held up said shirt: A pink, teal, and purple Hawaiian shirt that looked like it had seen many a better day. "I can't believe people actually _wore_ this."

"Eh, it was probably considered rather stylish when it was first made." Fred shrugged. "We laugh at the stuff we wore in the past, but we were cool at the time."

"Freddy, I doubt this shirt was _ever_ stylish." He tossed the shirt back into the box.

"Eh, it's all relative." Fred shrugged, then went back to the list. "Beer bottles."

"Check. Thank God for the Joes' love of booze."

"I can't help but feel _we're_ a little responsible for that." Fred muttered. "Forks."

"Check."

"Paint."

"Check."

"Weedwhacker."

"Got one."

Fred blinked in confusion. _What does he plan to_ _ **do**_ _with all this stuff?_ He shook his head. "Blowtorch."

"Check."

"Tools."

"Hammer, power drill, check."

"Pietro, what exactly are you going to _do?_ "

"What I said, some pranks."

"Yeah, but what _kind_ of pranks?" Fred blinked.

"You'll see." Pietro grinned.

"I'm sure of that." Fred rolled his eyes. "If you ask me, I think this whole thing is a desperate cry for attention."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pietro scowled. "I think those books of Psyche-Out are screwing with your head."

"Well, the way you act." Fred explained. "Everything you do is about grabbing attention. You fear being ignored and forgotten."

"Yeah sure, Dr. Phil." Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Seriously. This stuff all _screams_ attention fix."

"Fred, I know you got this whole psychology bit going, but I don't need it, man. I'm fine." Pietro grabbed his box. "Now if you will excuse me, I got some pranks to pull." He zipped away, making Fred shake his head.

"He's going to get himself killed one of these days. And it won't be Cobra that does it." The Blob took a bite of his ham, shaking his head.

 **Bayville Auditorium**

At a fence, that was surrounding the building, Lance, Paul, and Jamie were watching the crew set up the stage for the Mercy Killers' performance as a crowd started to pour in. Lance put down his binoculars.

"So far, everything seems perfectly normal." Lance noted. "Just standard band set-up."

"Maybe we need to take a closer look." Paul suggested. "Is it too late to buy tickets?"

"Shows like this in town are usually free." Jamie said. "Just go in and find a seat."

"But then who pays the performers?" Lance asked. Jamie shrugged.

"The city, I think."

"That makes sense." Paul said. "So, how're we going to take a closer look?" Lance frowned in thought.

"I think I may have an idea." The geokinetic answered. "We'll need some disguises. Follow us, Jamie. And do as we do."

"Uh, okay." Jamie nodded. The three boys climbed over the fence. Utilizing their Joe ninja training, Lance and Paul were able to get themselves through the crowd. The trio then spotted some jumpsuits and changed into them. "I'm a little short to be wearing these."

"No problem." Lance grinned. "Paul's hypnotic powers will fix that problem. Right, Paul?"

"...yeah, if you say so." Paul answered reluctantly. "I still don't like using my hypnotic powers like this..."

"I'm not asking you to make someone go on a murderous rampage, man. We just need you to use those powers to make people not be suspicious of us." Lance explained. Paul frowned.

"Well, I guess...if only so we can sneak around..."

"That's the spirit, buddy!" Lance grinned, patting Paul's shoulder. Paul frowned, but put on his jumpsuit and cap. He took a purple band out of his pocket and put his hair in a ponytail.

"But what about Jamie?" Paul pointed out.

"Uhm...Ah!" Lance eyed a rack of clothes and a nearby closet. "Here, kid. Grab something from that rack and get changed."

"Okay!" Jamie grabbed some items and went into the closet. He merged from it a minute later, now wearing a leather jacket and a red bandanna around his neck.

"Ooh, here!" Paul found a wild blond wig. "This'll help, too!" He put it on Jamie. "If anyone asks, we can just say that he's part of the Mercy Killers' entourage."

"Neat!" Jamie grinned. He felt something in the jacket's pocket. A confused Jamie pulled out some lipstick. "Huh?"

"That must've been a girl's jacket." Paul noted. "We should find out who that belonged to and give it back to them."

"Seriously, Paul?" Lance remarked dryly. Jamie took it and drew a pair of lightning bolts that crossed his nose and cheeks, making the geokinetic chuckle. "Well, that's taken care of."

Paul glanced at Lance. "You said we can't stay here long, so we can't really dawdle..."

"Right. Let's look around. Stay together." True to Lance's order, the three boys looked around backstage, being careful to avoid the band. Luckily, he heard them talking from a dressing room. "When does the show start?"

"About five, I think." Paul answered. Lance looked at his Joe-Com.

"Four-fifteen. Not a lot of time." The boys made their way to the stage set-up.

"Hey...what's that thing?" Lance pointed up at the lighting rig. Paul and Jamie looked up at the rig hanging up over the stage. A strange device appeared to be mounted onto the rig between the lights. The device looked like someone had attached a long thin wooden pod to the rig. The front of the pod had three subwoofers arranged in a horizontal straight line on it, aimed down at the growing crowd. "Looks like some kind of speaker."

"Doesn't look like any kind of loudspeaker I have ever seen." Paul answered, shaking his head.

"Maybe it's a new model of louspeaker." Lance suggested.

"I don't know." Jamie frowned, glancing up at the amp. "I got a bad feeling about this thing."

"Yeah." Paul realized. "Why put a loudspeaker on the lighting rig?" He jerked his thumb at the loudspeakers on the front and stacked on the back of the stage. "Those'll do the job just fine. Everyone here will be able to hear the music from those."

"Hey!" The boys turned and saw a burly growling security guard march towards them. "Who are you?! What're you doing here?!"

"Oh, don't mind us, pal. We're friends of the band Paul, now!" Lance ordered. Paul quickly moved up to the man, his eye glowing.

 _ **FWASH!**_

A flash of purple light erupted from Paul's star-covered eye, and the security guard's eyes started to glow purple.

"Whoa..." Jamie gasped.

"Got 'im!" Lance grinned. True to his statement, the guard was now under the hypnotic spell of the Starchild.

"We're friends of the band." Paul told the guard. "They want us here. There is nothing suspicious about us." He snapped his fingers and the guard blinked.

"Huh? Oh, sorry about that." The guard smiled. "Thought you guys were a bunch of crazy fans. My mistake."

"It's fine. Just doin' your job, we understand." Paul nodded.

"Alright then, enjoy the show." The guard walked away.

"We will, thanks! Looks to be a hit!" Jamie waved.

"We'd better get outta here and tell the Joes about this."

"Got some evidence!" Jamie took some pictures of the strange speaker with his camera. "Let's go." The three boys snuck their way back out of the growing crowd and back to Lance's jeep. As the yleft, Paul glanced at the stage. He noticed the Mercy-Killers taking the stage. Their look reminded Paul of old footage he saw of Parliament-Funkadelic: the wild fashions and sci-fi aesthetic.

"Come on, Paul!" A waving Lance called out to him, knocking him back to reality.

"Right!" Paul ran back and jumped into the passenger seat.

"What was that for, man?" Lance asked as they drove off.

"I think I just saw our future."

"Yeah, sure pal." Lance chuckled. The three drove in silence for a while. "So, what _was_ that thing on the lighting rig?"

"Looked like a loudspeaker, but I doubt it was." Paul said, shaking his head. "Why put it there?"

"Maybe it's some kind of evil device." Jamie suggested. "Like that old movie with the evil car."

"Christine." Lance explained. "It's based on a book. Okay, let's go with Jamie's theory. It's a evil device. What's it gonna do?"

"Something evil, I guess." Paul shrugged. "You know, I was watching the band take the stage."

"Saw our future, right?" Lance teased.

"Something familiar about that singer..." Paul frowned. "I could have sworn I saw him before."

"From where?" Lance asked in confusion.

"From some superhero gazette." Paul explained.

"So, a tabloid. Paul, I know this'll shock you, but celebrities do tend to appear in tabloids. That's their purpose: stupid gossip."

"That's not what I mean." Paul said. "Recently, Spider-Man battled some loser called the Hypno-Hustler. He used his guitar to hypnotize people to rob them."

"You think that may be the Hustler up there?" Lance said.

"Makes sense." Jamie nodded, rubbing his chin in thought. "There have been thefts at Mercy Killer shows..."

"And the Hypno-Hustler _is_ a musician..." Paul added.

"He might not be doing this alone, though." Jamie warned. "He may have help."

"Isn't the Hypno-Hustler some loser, though? Who'd help _him_ out?" Lance asked.

"Hey, you'd be surprised what people will do if you promise them lots of money." Paul shrugged.

"He has a point." Jamie agreed, looking at the pictures he took of the loudspeaker-like device.

"Let's just get to the Mansion, and talk to the adults about it." Lance said. The jeep drove on as fast as Lance could safely take it. Back at the mansion, Storm and Recondo were conversing.

"So, how are you enjoying life as a Joe handler so far?" The windrider asked the jungle warfare expert.

"It's not as bad as I thought." Recondo admitted. "But I suppose it's because I'm technically only playing guardian to two Misfits."

"I can imagine Darkstar is a handful on his own." Ororo guessed.

"He's actually not that bad." Recondo said. "The kid's got some scars on him, but Paul's been a surprisingly good influence on him. He's also not used to being around people like the Misfits."

"I can imagine the Misfits can be difficult for the sanest minds to adjust to."

"Eh, the X-Men have their fair share of...quirks too, Miss Munroe."

"Fair point, Recondo." Ororo conceded with a nod. "I do wish you luck in the realm of Misfit handling. I hope you survive the experience." The two noticed Lance's jeep drive up, and the three boys leap out.

"Paul? Where'd you go?" Recondo asked.

"Sorry, Recondo!" Paul apologized with a wave. "But Lance and I thought it would be nice to get Jamie here out of the Mansion for a while."

"Trinity." Ororo guessed.

"Yup." Paul confirmed with a nod. The Kenyan mutant then noticed that Jamie was still wearing his makeshift disguise.

"...why do you look like a glam rocker?"

"It's a disguise. There's something going on at the Bayville Auditorium!" Jamie yelped.

"What're you talking about, kid?" Recondo asked.

"We think there's something strange going down at the Bayville Auditorium." Lance explained. Jamie showed the photos on his phone to the Joe and X-Men member.

"What... _is_ that thing?" Ororo blinked. "I'm afraid technology is not a field I have much expertise in."

"Looks like a strange loudspeaker to me." Recondo said.

"It's not." Paul said. "Why put a loudspeaker on top of a lighting rig?"

"So people can hear the music." Recondo answered.

"But the loudspeakers on the stage do that just fine. Putting loudspeakers on a lighting rig, you're just creating a nuisance."

"There's a group called the Mercy-Killers performing at the Bayville Auditorium." Lance explained. "We believe that the lead singer may be a supervillain."

"...who?" Storm blinked.

"A band, Miss Storm. There were rumors of items being stolen at their performances." Paul explained. "And their lead singer may be the Hypno-Hustler."

"...who?" Storm blinked.

"Oh, I heard of him." Recondo frowned. "Isn't he some kind of loser?"

"Some obscure supervillain, I take it?" Ororo realized.

"He fought Spider-Man, that I know." Recondo recalled.

"And we think it's him in town." Lance said.

"We think he may be using the Mercy Killers as a front for thefts." Paul added. "As I said, there were rumors of thefts at their shows."

"Sounds like something we should check out." Recondo stated.

"Agreed." Ororo nodded. "We should gather the others." Inside the Institute, one of the Misfits was sitting in front of the TV, flipping through the channels.

" _It slices! It dices! It can cut thorough this aluminum can!"_

"Boring." Todd Tolensky grumbled, changing the channel.

 _Click!_

" _We on a plane! A PLANE!"_

"Saw that one this morning."

 _Click!_

" _Aw Gawd! Mah butt's on fire!"_

"Heh. That's pretty funny. But I have that on DVD." Todd changed the channel again with a sigh.

 _Click!_

" _Honey, where are my paaaaaants?"_

"God, I can't believe that show is still on." The amphibious mutant grumbled. He then sighed.

"Hey there, Toddles." Todd looked up and saw a smiling Althea sitting next to him.

"Oh hey, babe."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just lookin' for somethin' good to watch on the tube." Todd sighed. "Streaming TV exists, but there's still nothing on."

"I find _that_ hard to believe." Althea snorted, crossing her arms. She blinked as she noticed something about Todd's expression. "You alright? You seem a bit down."

"I'm not down."

"Yeah, you are. I can tell. What's up?"

Todd sat up and sighed. "Well...can I ask you something? And be honest."

"Shoot."

"...what is you see in me?" He asked. "I mean, let's face it. Lance...Pietro...hell, the Starr boys look etter than me! This won't be a mug you see on GQ anytime soon."

"Todd, what's going on?"

"Well, I've been doing some thinkin', and...I wonder what it is you see in me?"

"Todd, you think I'm with you out of _pity?_ That's absurd!" Althea scoffed. "So what if you're not going to be on the cover of GQ? Who cares? Lots of guys never will get that."

"Yeah, true." Todd concurred. "But what it about me you like so much?"

"Well, it's not your appearance that won me over, although I think you are handsome. What I like about you is in here." She gently poked his chest. "Your heart. You have a great heart, Todd. That's what I love about you. What brought this about?"

"Eh, I don't know." Todd answered. "I just was feeling down lately."

"Have you talked to Psyche-Out about this?" Althea asked. "He might be able to help you with this."

"Eh, I don't want to bother the guy. He already has a lot on his plate."

"Todd, there's no shame in asking for help when you're feeling down." She stroked his hair. "If anything, I think it shows strength. Besides, it's his job to help people with their mental problems."

"Alright, I'll talk to him tomorrow." Todd smiled. "Thanks, Al."

"You're welcome, babe." She kissed his cheek. "I think you're a wonderful guy, Todd. You do deserve to be loved. Because you are a good person. Don't _ever_ forget that." The TV blared out a special bulletin.

" _Chaos has broken out in the city of Bayville today as citizens started randomly acting crazy."_ The newscaster stated. _"Police have no idea how this started, but some have considered the possibility that it may be linked to the Xavier Institute."_

"Blame the X-Men. What a shock." Althea rolled her eyes.

"Well, can't blame 'em." Todd shrugged. "Building full of crazy mutants? Of course they're going to be looked at with suspicion."

"We'd better check this out." Althea said.

"Yup." Todd nodded as they got up. "We'd better tell the Joes." A short time later, a group of X-men, Misfits, and Joe handlers had arrived at the outskirts of town. They gaze out at the scene. People were singing, dancing, brawling, basically acting wild.

"Wow. Does Bayville do this a lot?" Paul asked.

"Surprisingly, no." Jinx told him.

"What on Earth is _causing_ this?" Scott blinked. Jean put her hand to her head and concentrated as she scanned the scene with her telepathy.

"These people aren't acting on their own." Jean reported. "Something is affecting their minds."

"Another telepath?"

Jean shook her head. "I don't think so." Wolverine growled. "Mr. Logan?"

"Hun? You okay?" Jinx asked in concern, putting her hand on Logan's shoulder.

"I think I know what is causing it." The Canadian feral growled. "I hear this noise. I can't really describe it."

"We'll need some kind of protection, then." Cover Girl concluded. She looked over at Trinity. "Can you three whip up something to protect us?" The superpowered genius triplets looked at each other...and stared.

"...what're they doing?" Tabitha whispered to Cover Girl.

"They're talking to each other telepathically."

"Oh." Tabitha blinked. "That's creepy."

"You've seen Jan and the Professor converse in this manner in the past." Amara frowned at her blonde friend.

"It's still freakin' creepy." Tabitha said.

"I think we may have something to help." Quinn nodded. "We'll be right back!" The triplets vanished in a flash of light with pink lightning effects.

"How'd they do that?!" Scott asked.

"They've been tinkering with the teleporter." Althea answered with a smile. "They think it looks cool. I think it's a bit unnecessary."

"I think it's kind of cool." Todd grinned. "So, how long should the triplets be?"

"Not long, I hope." Jinx sighed. She looked out at the chaos. "The sooner, the better."

"Yeah, I really want to be able to get out there and calm this down, hopefully without hurting anyone." Scott sighed. "As if this day can't get any crazier..." Fate seemed to say "challenge accepted" to that, a bicycle flew through the air.

"Scott!" Jean was about to use her TK to 'grab' the mode of transportation, but...

 _ **Whack!**_

The bike smacked into Scott's face, knocking him over. Jinx and Todd moved to get the bike off of him.

"Cyclops, you okay?!" Jinx asked as she helped the dazed mutant to his feet.

"He got a BAH-thicle!" Scott yelped in a bizarre Southern accent with a lisp. "He brought the paywinda to tha mothathip!"

"Okay Dusty, let's get ya back to the locker room!" Ray cackled. In a flash of light, Trinity returned.

"Here, everyone." Daria said. The girls handed out what looked like futuristic earpieces. "Put these on. They should protect you all from whatever is going on in there."

"And if they don't?" Recondo asked.

Brittany smirked at the jungle warfare expert as Scott rubbed his head. "Hope you're ready to go crazy, Recondo."

"Are the earpieces helping you, Logan?" Jinx asked. The Canadian mutant nodded.

"Yeah, they're helping." He nodded.

"Ughn..." Scott groaned, holding his head. "...why do I suddenly want to book a War Games match?"

"No idea, Dusty." Bobby quipped with a shrug.

"Cute, Iceman." Scott rolled his eyes.

"I try." Bobby smiled.

"We're still going to need a plan." Scott said. He looked at the New Mutants. "This might be dangerous for all of you." The group blinked incredulously at Scott.

"You're kidding, right?!" Ray exclaimed.

"We helped fight _Apocalypse!_ " Tabitha added.

"Yeah!" Bobby agreed. "We can handle some stupid riots!"

"A Darwinist hardnose is not the same thing as a bunch of crazy rioters." Scott frowned, crossing his nose.

"Ah, let 'em help, Scotty." Shipwreck grinned. "They've proven themselves."

"Sailor actually got a point there, One-Eye." Logan agreed.

"Okay, alright." Scott sighed.

 _ **Fwash!**_

Pietro Maximoff materialized nearby, holding his box.

"Alright!" He grinned triumphantly. "Time to prank the hell out...of...the X-Geeks?" He blinked in confusion. "The hell is going on?"

"Pietro..." Jinx frowned. "Were you planning to prank the X-Men with whatever you have in that box?"

The speedster blinked. "...no." The others all looked at each other.

"Yes." They all said in unison. Pietro blinked.

"Am I really becoming that predictable?"

"Yes." The X-Men, Misfits, and Joes all said in unison.

"Put this on, Pietro." Brittany ordered, giving Pietro an earpiece. "There's a noise driving everyone crazy down there, and this'll protect you."

"Uh, okay..." A confused Pietro looked at the earpiece. "This isn't going to eat my ear, is it?"

"Just put it on, Quicksilver..." Shipwreck sighed. Pietro did as he was told.

"Let's go in carefully." Cover Girl ordered. The heroes went into the city. Trinity's earpieces did a wonderful job protecting them from the strange sound. People were partying, brawling, doing all sorts of crazy things.

"I am a pretty lady!" A Bayville High football player whooped as he ran by with his pants on his head.

"Oh, that's too funny!" Bobby grinned as he recorded the event with his phone. "I'm _so_ going to embarrass that jerk..."

"He's the one who tried to grab my butt, right?" Tabitha recalled.

"Mine, too." Bobby nodded. Tabitha blinked.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah." Bobby nodded.

"We should break up some of these brawls." Storm noted.

"What's the point? They'll just go right back to fighting." Logan pointed out. The X-Men continued to look around at the chaos.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Amara asked.

"Anything that could have caused this." Daria explained, holding up a tricorder-like scanning device.

"Maybe we should split up." Scott suggested. "We can cover more ground more quickly."

"Might not be the best idea in madness like this, One-Eye." Logan countered. "Somebody might get hurt or lost." He then blinked at something he was seeing. "And it looks like that is about to happen to that guy."

"Eek!" Storm gasped as a man grabbed her and started twirling her around. "Hey!" He started laughing and singing Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" loudly...and off-key. Shipwreck glared at the man, and then stomped up to him.

"Okay pal, back off! You're drunk!" He angrily pushed the man away.

 _Gods of Earth and Air, I never thought I'd say this, but thank you for Shipwreck._ Ororo thought. The dazed dancer grinned at the angry sailor.

"Hey, what's with the angry vibes, man?" The man asked, a big goofy grin on his face.

"I don't remember Stormy givin' ya permission, pal." Shipwreck growled.

"Hey, sailor! This guy isn't thinking straight!" Jinx called out.

"I appreciate it Shipwreck, but Jinx is right. He clearly is not of the right mind." Storm added.

"When I'm dancin', I'm always in the right mind!" The man whooped. He then grinned and jabbed at Shipwreck's chest. "Maybe you should do some dancin' yourself, sailor! Might put a smile on that ugly mug of yours!" Shipwreck growled and smacked the man's hand away.

"Shipwreck, no!" Jinx yelled. "This guy's not of the right mind, remember?!"

"Yeah, you're right." Shipwreck smirked, then walked away.

"Oh, thank God." Althea sighed in relief, wiping her brow.

"This guy ain't worth it." The sailor started to walk back to the group.

"You're cleraly just mad I can give your lady friend a thrill and you can't!" The man taunted.

"That's it!" Shipwreck ran back to the man, a haymaker ready to be thrown.

 _ **WHAM!**_

The punch sent the man backwards, but he was still conscious enough to throw one back, and the two started to fight.

"I knew it!" Althea groaned, throwing her hands up in the air.

"That's our father." Trinity rolled her eyes.

"Shipwreck, stop it!" Recondo yelled as he, Jinx, and Storm helped get the sailor off the man. "Seriously, the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Is this some stupid macho thing?!" Storm exclaimed.

"Knowing Shipwreck, it probably is." Althea sighed. After they settled the situation down, they continued their search. However, they would encounter another complication.

"Helloooo, cutie pie!" A couple of girls giggled as they approached Paul.

"Oh dear..." Paul blinked.

"Oh, God..." Craig groaned, facepalming. Tabitha growled.

"Oh, _Hell_ no!" The blonde hissed.

"Oh, come on!" Ray exclaimed. Jamie smiled at Craig.

"Your brother is awesome." This statement made Craig groan louder. "What? He is!"

"Kid, trust me on this. He can be a royal pain sometimes."

"Uhm, I'd feel more comfortable talking to you girls when you're of sound mind." Paul said as the girls ran up to him and started, for lack of a better term, fangirling over him. "Yeah, _definitely_ want to wait until you girls are of sound mind again."

"Hey Starchild, isn't that supposed to happen _after_ you become a famous rockstar?" Lance teased.

"Don't encourage him, Lance." Craig groaned.

"Okay! You broads back the hell off!" Tabitha yelled, shoving the girls away angrily. Amara and Rogue looked at each other and sighed. The Southern powerhouse grabbed the girls and wrapped a light pole around them.

"There. That should keep you out of trouble until we can fix yer brains up real good." Rogue said to the screaming girls.

"Like, you alright, Paul?" Kitty asked Starchild in concern. Paul nodded.

"I'm fine. I hope Rogue didn't hurt those girls."

"They'll be fine, sugah." Rogue reassured. "Just tied up for the moment."

Paul nodded. "Okay. Just untie them when we stop this mess."

"Yeah, sure." The Gothic Belle nodded. Gambit, Berzerker, and Piotr glared murderously at the Starchild as Rogue, Tabby, and Kitty checked on him. Lance could not help but smirk at the steel-skinned Russian.

"You know, pal. All that stress ain't good for you."

"Shut up." He growled.

"I'm serious, man. I'm worried about you."

"Oh, I am sure you are." Piotr grunted. "I am amazed that this does not bother you."

"Knew the Starchild longer than you, pal. Guy's harmless."

"I get the feeling that you're lying."

"Then that feeling is a moron. But then again, your role on this team does not involve brains." Lance grinned, tapping Piotr's steel head. This made the Russian powerhouse growl angrily, but Lance only shot back a big cheesy mocking smile.

"Guys, focus." Jinx warned. On a nearby roof, they were being observed.

"Hmmm..." Angar the Screamer noted. "Looks like we got some X-Men and those Joe guys here..."

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have a big quandry on their hands? Can they find the devices? Can they stop Angar, Screaming Mimi, and Hypno-Hustler without harming the citizens? Will the X-Boys get over themselves? Find out in the next chapter!**_

 **1 –** In the X-Men: Evolution episode "The HeX Factor".


	6. Wild in the Streets!

**X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!**

Disclaimer: "MAMMA MIA!" - Mauro Ranallo

Chapter 6: Wild in the Streets!

 **Bayville Auditorium**

"Hustler! Hustler!" Angar yelled as he and Screaming Mimi ran up to Hypno-Hustler. The musical menace had been looking over some of the loot the other Mercy-Killers had been gathering up while the rest of the town was in chaos. "The X-Men are here!"

"The X-Men, huh?" Hypno-Hustler shrugged. "Who cares? They'll be too busy trying to calm the crazed city down to worry about us."

"They're not alone." Mimi added. "They got some of GI Joe and their mutant wards with them. What're they called again? The Oddballs?"

"Misfits." Angar told Mimi. She nodded in understanding.

"The Misfits?" Hypno-Hustler frowned. "And GI Joe? Why the hell would _they_ be helping the X-Men out? None of us are exactly connected to those friggin' snake terrorists. At least, I know I'm not!"

"Don't look at us." Mimi scowled. "They couldn't pay me enough to work for them. And speaking of payment..." She picked up a diamond from a pile of jewelry obtained from said store. "I hope that you aren't planning to stiff us." Under his mask/goggles, the musician/criminal rolled his eyes. He snatched the diamond back and put it back in the pile.

"You're paranoid, Mimi. And I'm not an idiot." Hypno-Hustler snorted.

"It ain't paranoia. It's just I don't like the idea of risking getting my butt fried, frozen, blown up, or God knows what by a bunch of mutants unless I know I'm getting paid."

Angar smiled in amusement. "I have to agree with the lady on this one." He jerked his thumb at Mimi. "Fighting guys like Daredevil, Spidey and Moon Knight is one thing. But the X-Men are a higher weight class here."

"Yeah, there's like, a _ton_ of them." Mimi added. "Seriously, they're the Pokemon of superheroes. Gotta collect every single mutant."

"Guys, I'm not stupid." Hypno-Hustler groaned. "I'll split it fairly. I also got the band to pay too, ya know."

"You had better, pal." Mimi warned. She then smiled dangerously at the Hypno-Hustler. "Because if you don't, I _will_ tie your limbs into knots, then beat you so bad, your own mother won't recognize you." Antoine gulped for a moment, then shook his head and glared at her.

"Calm down, Mimi. I may be looked at as a joke, but I'm no dummy."

"Hope so." Angar nodded. "Would be a shame if Mimi was forced to hurt you." She smirked and cracked her knuckles. Antoine sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _What did I do to deserve this?_ Antoine mentally groaned.

 **Elsewhere in Bayville**

Despite Logan's protest, the group of X-Men, Misfits, and Joes had to split up in an attempt to find the cause of the madness infecting the city. Their splitting was forced by the fact that the whole town seemed to be affected, and it was the only way they could keep people from getting killed.

"WAHH-HOOO!" A man whooped as he raced down the street on a motorcycle. He saw a lamppost and grinned madly. "Imma gonna ram it!"

 _ **Fzow! Boom!**_

A purple laser erupted out of nowhere and hit the front tire, causing it to explode. The motorcycle upended, causing the man to fly off his bike...at least, under normal circumstances. Instead, he and the bike were floating in midair. Jean Grey walked towards the man, her hand held out.

"It's alright, sir." She reassured the man. "You're just going to take a nice long nap. And we're sorry about your bike. Just send us the bill." She, using her telekinesis, gently placed the man down and his motorcycle next to him. She then used her telepathy to put him to sleep. The redhead wiped her brow under her costume and sighed in tiredness.

"Are you alright?" She turned and saw a concerned Paul walking towards her. Jean nodded.

"Yeah." She said. The telepath sighed. "God, the chaos. I've never been around so may minds that have been so...rattled."

"Hey, I just had a thought." Paul realized. "What about that Cerebro thing you guys have? Can't you use that to fix these people's brains?"

"It's undergoing maintenance right now. We can't use it at the moment." Jean explained. "The Professor is back at the mansion trying to fix it up. Thanks, Toad."

"Ah, right." Paul winced. "Yeah, I bet Todd is very sorry about it."

"I understand he was under the influence of some Jolt Cola."

"Thank Pietro. Guy thinks he's funny." Paul rolled his eyes. "I think the guy has issues with attention or something."

"Coming from someone who has that star on your face and wears those clothes?" Jean noted. Paul shrugged.

"I like being me." The guitarist said. Meanwhile, Scott had been looking around a laundromat. It was a laundromat that was also a gas station and convenience store.

 _It is_ _ **weird**_ _seeing a laundromat like this. There is usually always someone here to wash clothes._ He put his hand to his visor and activated a special new feature. _Time to test these new onboard scanners Beast put in._ The devices scanned the laundromat's insides. _Hmm...not much. Trash in the trashbins, and laundry in the machines. No sign of any unusual devices anywhere. Blast it._ He sighed. _Dead end. This is lousy. What is_ _ **causing**_ _this madness?_ The optic blaster looked around. _I feel like I'm in a zombie movie. I wonder where everyone went?_ He heard giggling. _Oh, no...no another crazy..._ he ran to the door and found Jean and Paul...talking. _Oh. It's just Jean and the Starchild. I wonder what they're talking about..._

"Have you ever considered getting someone to upgrade your wardrobe?" Jean asked. Paul shrugged.

"Never worried about that, to be honest. T-shirts and jeans never go out of style."

"But the other stuff, though." Jean said. "Don't you think that makes you look a bit...outdated?" _Even if he does look kind of cute in them..._ She looked at Paul's Misfit costume. _And the costume is rather nice. I wonder if he designed it himself. I had heard that the Misfits do get a hand in making their costumes..._

"It doesn't bother me." Paul told her. "Fashion is kind of a silly thing, when you think about it. It must be maddening, keeping up with being 'stylish' all the time." Jean couldn't help but smile.

"I have to admit, it can be maddening at times..." The redhead said. Scott watched this with some concern. He found himself thinking back to Remy, Ray, and Piotr. About when they groused about the Starchild's impromptu performance back at the mansion. Maybe they had a point? No, they were just being stupid and paranoid...were they?

"You know what I think is maddening?" Paul said. "Being a telepath like you."

"Don't you have it?" Jean recalled.

"Yes and no." Paul answered. "I have a telepathic link with my brother Craig, and that's really it when it comes to telepathy. Craig is _very_ private, so I often try not to pry." He looked at Jean. "But I can't imagine what it's like for you. Having to 'hear' other people's voices in your head..."

"It _was_ scary when my powers manifested. I...don't like to talk about it." Jean sighed. _Poor Annie..._ "But I have gotten used to it. Thanks to Professor Xavier, I manged to get it under control. He taught me how to filter out the 'noise'."

"Ah, I see." Paul smiled. "Have you ever tried ninja meditation for some extra help? Maybe you should try it with the Blind Master. He's awesome. My brother is one of the toughest dudes in Los Angeles, and he got thrashed by the guy. Even dodged Craig's laser. It was awesome!"

"Me, do ninja meditation?" Jean chuckled in amusement. "I'd be a terrible ninja."

Scott frowned as he watched this.

"You never know, Jean." Paul shrugged with a smile. "I'd rather fail knowing I tried." As he talked, Scott continued his mental battle. Ultimately, he made a decision.

"Hey uh, Starchild? Can I talk to you in private?" Scott piped up as he walked up to the three.

"Uh, okay..." Paul blinked.

"Scott, did you find anything in that laundromat?" Jean asked.

Scott shook his head. "Not a thing. Nothing in there that could have caused this whole mess."

"Well, isn't that the priority right now?" Jean pointed out. "What do you need to talk to Paul about?"

"Man stuff." Scott explained. "And it will only be a second, I promise. Come on, Starchild." Scott dragged Paul into the laundromat. Jean's eyes narrowed, and a frown creased her face.

 _Okay, this is strange._ Jean thought. _Scott would normally_ _ **never**_ _let himself be so distracted from a mission normally. Something is up._ The optic blaster shoved Paul into the laundromat.

"Okay, that was not gentle." Paul remarked.

"Yeah, look. I want to say something to you." Scott told the Los Angelan. "Some of the guys are a bit...concerned."

"Concerned? About what?" Paul blinked.

"Well..." Scott rubbed the back of his head. _I don't want to come off a jerkoff to this guy..._ "Well, I...take it you have heard about the whole...Alvers, Piotr, and Kitty drama, right?" Unbeknownst to Scott, Jean had floated her way into the laundromat and quietly peeked her head in.

"Uh-huh." Paul nodded. "It was one of the first things I was told about when I started with the Misfits. You ever considered putting them on a talk show?" Jean suppressed a giggle.

"Oh God, that's a brilliant idea." Scott facepalmed. "Let them wreck a TV show set. That would only be the 567th thing we're banned from."

"Hey, it would make for good TV." Paul shrugged. "That's all that matters to some people."

"Yeah, I'm sure, wait I'm getting off topic." Scott shook his head. "Look, some of the guys are a little...concerned."

"About what?"

"Well, you know that little impromptu jam session that you and Lance held earlier?"

"Well, yeah!" Paul grinned. "That was fun!"

 _Certainly was. Who would've thought Avalanche was that talented a guitar player?_ Jean thought.

"I would love to form a band one day. Me singing the hits, Craig providing the bass, and Lance jamming out the hot licks. We'd be the first all-mutant rock band!" Jean smiled in amusement.

 _That 'all-mutant band' idea sounds interesting. Hopefully, people will see them more than just a novelty._

"That's great." Scott said. "Look, some of the guys have some concerns. The way the girls were acting at your little show and all..."

Jean's jaw dropped. _Oh, for the love of everything holy..._ She facepalmed hard.

"Sounds to me like the boys are a little insecure if they're nervous about a jam session making the girls get on their feet and dance the night away." Paul frowned, crossing his arms.

"Well, it's making them a bit paranoid."

"Sounds like it's their problem to me." Paul then realized something. "Hey, you got worried because you saw me talking to Jean, huh?"

"Uh, well..."

 _Oh, you gotta be **kidding** me! _Jean rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in frustration. _I can't believe Scott would be like this. Yes, Paul is cute, but...God!_

"Dude, I wouldn't hit on another man's girl. That's not my style. My mom and dad taught me better."

"Somehow I doubt that, Ted Nugent."

"...of all the musicians out there, you compare me to that insecure lunatic?" Paul frowned. Scott opened his mouth, but stopped.

"Good point." He conceded. "I'm getting off track."

"Are you _serious?!_ " Jean exclaimed as she marched up to Scott, making the optic blaster's face go completely pale.

"Oh, dear..." Paul winced.

"We got the town of Bayville going bananas, and you're worried about _Paul trying to steal me away?!_ "

"It's not what you think, Jean!" Scott exclaimed, putting up his hands.

"I'm gonna leave, if that's alright with you." Paul piped up. "I think it'd be best if I left you two to settle this in private."

"That's perfectly fine, Paul." Jean warmly smiled at the rockstar as he left the area for the next room. Scott shot a scowl at him as he left. She glared at Scott. "Why are you staring at him like that?"

"I saw how you were looking at him." Scott pointed out. "You were acting like a fangirl of his!"

"Oh, because I was having a good time?!" Jean argued.

"Yeah, you were having a _fantastic_ time, alright!" Scott snapped. "I wouldn't be surprised if you grabbed him and gave him a big fat wet kiss afterwards!"

Jean's jaw dropped. "Oh my God, I can't believe that you would actually _think_ that! I thought you were better than that!"

"That Starchild is nothing more than a royal son of a-!"

Meanwhile, as Scott and Jean argued, Paul was looking around the convenience store area.

 _Scott may have looked over this area already, but it wouldn't hurt to check it over again._ The mutant musician thought. _Maybe I'll pick up something he missed._ Paul heard his stomach growl. "Oh dear..." He then noticed a rack of protein bars. _I really am hungry, but I shouldn't just steal these bars..._ The young mutant eyed a cash register.

"Oh! Idea!" Paul checked the price of the protein bars. He then picked up a couple of them, pulled some money out of a pocket in his costume, and put it in the register. "There we go." Paul smiled in pride. He then heard Scott and Jean arguing. This made Paul blink in confusion. "What the-?"

 _ **KRESH!**_

"Oh my gosh!" Paul yelped as he saw Scott fly through the window. "What on Earth-?!" He saw an angry Jean float up to the moaning optic blaster.

"And that's for calling me a floozy!" Jean snapped. She floated back down to the ground, and stomped away as Paul ran to help Scott up.

"You alright?! What was _that_ about?!" Paul wondered.

"Aw, get offa me!" Scott shoved the Starchild away. "This is all your fault!"

"...wait, what? Huh?" A confused Paul watched Scott stomp away. "Guys! We have to find the machines that are making people go crazy! You can't do this now!" He heard his Joe-Com beep. "Oh, no...Starchild reporting in."

"Starchild, you and your group made any progress?" Jinx asked.

"Yes, and no." Paul admitted. "Cyclops and Marvel Girl got into a fight. I have no idea why. Jean telekinetically tossed him through a window, and they just stomped away."

"Oh, no..." Jinx groaned.

 **Downtown Bayville**

Craig Starr had spotted something that had definitely caught his interest. A pair of policemen had been dancing around their patrol car, spraying it with various silly things thanks to some cans of spray paint. The sight made the ex-gang member cock his head. Wanda walked up to him.

"Made any progress finding anything?" The hexcaster asked. Craig shook his head.

"Afraid not. You?"

"No." Wanda answered. She saw what got Craig's interest. "Huh. Look at that. The cops."

"Yeah. You'd never see cops acting this wacky back home in LA."

"To be fair, these guys are under the influence of sonic devices."

"True." Craig agreed with a nod. "It's kind of funny, actually."

"You're thinking of having a little fun with them, aren't you?" Wanda deduced, noting the expression on Craig's face. He opened his mouth to deny it, but the Scarlet Witch cut him off. "Craig, as appealing as sticking it to some mentally-clouded authority is, we have a job to do."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Craig nodded. "Too bad, though. Those oinkers could afford to be taken down a peg or two?"

"Seen your fair share of corrupt cops, huh?"

Craig nodded. "Yup. You'd be surprised." He stared at the policemen. "I would not be surprised if some of these guys or their fellow officers got some dark secrets."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Craig stated.

"I thought you weren't a telepath." Wanda frowned.

"Not with anyone besides my goofy-ass brother." Craig grumbled. "And trust me, _his_ mind is more than enough for me."

Wanda smirked. "Can't stand the sunshine and rainbows?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "I don't know how he does it." The two young mutants watched the cops play around in silence for a few minutes.

"We _really_ should get back to the job." Wanda said.

"Agreed." Craig nodded. "Let's go." The two young mutants started to leave, but they were spotted by the whacked out cops.

"Hey!" One of the cops yelled. "Look it, Henderson! A couple kids!"

"Well, well, well, Harris." The second cop said. "You kids heading for the malt shop?"

Wanda blinked in confusion. "What's a malt shop?"

"I saw one in a TV show about the 50s." Craig explained. "It's like an ice cream parlor."

"Oh." Wanda nodded. "Ever been to one of those?"

"There's this restaurant in LA that Paul and I liked to visit." Craig explained. "It was like the old malt shops. They had good food."

Henderson frowned at Craig. "The hell is up with the makeup, boy?"

"It's a birthmark." The Misfit answered. "What's up with the gut?" He tapped the officer's gut. "Maybe you should spend more time worrying about hitting the weights and less about my face." Henderson made a strange face and looked at a snickering Harris.

"You saying I'm fat, Starface?"

"I didn't. You just did."

 _Oh God, I gotta be the **voice of reason** here..._ Wanda sighed. "Okay, you guys." She looked at the cops. "Look, you guys aren't clearly yourselves at the moment, so maybe you should just sit down and..."

"Are you kidding?!" Harris slurred. "I feel great! I feel like a million bucks!"

"Yeah!" Henderson grinned, hi-fiving Harris. "Whoo! We are awesome!"

"If you say so." Wanda sighed.

"I just had a thought." Craig said. "What if I try to use my hypnotic ability to knock these guys back to...whatever they have for sanity around here. I don't think it will work, but..."

"You can really do that?" Wanda blinked.

Craig nodded. "You know that crazy Joe who thinks himself a science guy?"

"Yeah, Airtight."

"Well, he and I have been experimenting with my and Paul's powers." Craig explained. "We discovered that if someone is hypnotized, Paul or I could break them out of the trance with our own powers." He shrugged. "Worth a try." Wanda looked at the cops, who had started dancing around their cruiser. Harris had started making quacking noises, and Henderson starting humming a song neither Craig nor Wanda recognized. Craig gently grabbed Harris. "Look into my eyes." He told the dazed cop, as his star-covered eye started to glow.

 _Hope this works._ Wanda thought. _Might help things out a bit if it does._

"Uh...da fudge you doin'?" Harris blinked in confusion.

 _ **FWASH!**_

A blast of purple light erupted from Craig's star-covered eye. The light washed over Harris's face, but he only blinked in confusion. Craig grunted and shoved the cop away. He grunted as he hit the ground.

"No good." The former gang member said. "I'd know if the hypnotic spell was broken. And it wasn't."

"Too bad." Wanda sighed. "Should've known that it would not be that easy. And did you really need to shove that cop onto the ground like that?"

"I don't like cops, Wanda."

"True, but still..."

"Hey, you punk!" Henderson growled, grabbing Craig. The young mutant sneered at the hand gripping his shoulder. "What you think you're doing?!"

"Don't. Touch. Me." Craig shoved the hand away.

"I'm a cop! And you _will_ respect mah authoritah!"

"And that's why I don't respect you." Craig grumbled. "You act like because you have a badge, you can do whatever you want!"

"Craig, he's not himself right now!" Wanda reminded.

"That's the only reason that he doesn't have a broken nose right now!" Craig snapped.

 _Oh, God! How did_ _ **I**_ _end up having to be the voice of reason here?!_ Wanda groaned as she tried to keep the two separated. "Knock it off, both of you!"

"He won't respect mah authoritah!"

 **Elsewhere in Bayville**

"La LA LA LA LA LA, la la la la..." Duncan Matthews sang out the Smurfs' theme song as he happily skipped around the town. "Whee! Join the happy land! Sing the happy song!" The dazed jock blinked as he peered at the entrance to the Bayville Zoo. "Hey, animals! Awesome!" The football player walked into the Zoo.

What he didn't realize thanks to his dazed brain was that the Zoo was a madhouse. Cages were open, allowing the animals to roam free.

"WHOOO!" A woman whooped as she rode a tiger.

"Hey, what's this?" Duncan blinked as he picked up a snake. The reptile hissed at him. "Eh." He shrugged and tossed it aside. And a group of dingoes were staring at the jock.

"Doggy!" Duncan whooped as he approached the dingoes. "Pretty doggies!" The dingoes all looked at each other, almost like they were confused. "I wanna pet the pretty doggies." The wild dogs looked at each other again, then charged at the football player.

"BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!" The dogs...well, barked out as they jumped the football player.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Duncan screamed as he got mauled by them. "OW OW OW TEETH HURT! AGH, DON'T BITE ME THERE! PLEASE DON'T BITE ME THERE!" The snake that Duncan tossed away slitherd into the fracas and bit him in the backside. "AIIIIIIGH!"

 **A bar in Bayville**

Shipwreck, Althea "Wavedancer" Delgado, Todd "Toad" Tolensky, and Xi walked into the bar. The four noted the chaos within. People were dancing, hooting, singing and partying up a storm.

"Wow." Shipwreck looked around. "Look at this place."

"It's a dump, Dad." Althea wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I doubt even _Wolverine_ would drink in a place like this."

"I remember the old Brotherhood House being better-lookin' than this." Todd agreed with a nod. "And that place was rough."

"Wasn't there a talking mold in the fridge?" Xi recalled in confusion.

"Naw." Todd shook his head. "There was mold, but it wasn't sentient. Yet."

"Based on what you told me about the place, you all should have taken gasoline and matches to it a long time ago." Althea grumbled.

"I wonder if it's still standing." Xi suggested. "Maybe we can pay a visit."

"Not the time, Xi." Shipwreck told the artificial mutant. "Maybe some other time."

"Besides, who the hell would _want_ to go there?" Althea wrinkled her nose in disgust. "From what I heard about the place, I would not be surprised if the old termite farm wasn't torn down already."

"Eh, it's upstate New York." Todd shrugged. "Buildings around here tend to stay up a while or get remodeled. Heck, I remember this old building that stayed up for years despite being condemned. It ended up being refurbished."

"Hey, kids. You got one of those gadgets on you?" Shipwreck asked.

"Right here." Xi pulled a scanner out of a pocket on his costume. He then scanned around the bar. "Right there." The artificial mutant pointed at the odd device in the corner.

"That don't look like no jukebox, yo." Todd scowled.

"Yup, I think we found the cause of this mess." Shipwreck nodded. "Let's take a look." The four went through the dancing crowd to examine the device.

"I kind of wish we had one of the tech heads here with us to help us understand this thing." Althea frowned.

"Well, I'm no Trinity, but I think I can figure this thing out..." Todd offered.

"You think so, Todd?" Shipwreck said.

"I believe in him." Xi smiled.

"Let me see that scanner." Todd held out his hand to Xi. The reptilian mutant handed over the device to Todd. "Trinity helped me build a few addons for this thing so I can hack it." He pulled some additional gadgets out of pockets on his costume. One of them, notably, was a fold out keyboard. He attached the gadgets to the scanner, then linked the device to the scanner with a pair of wires. The toad-like mutant put on a pair of goggles, attached them to the keyboard with a wire, and started typing.

 _Incredible._ Shipwreck thought as he watched Toad type. _The crazy things kids these days get to play with._

"...what is he doing?" Xi asked.

"He's hacking it, Xi." Althea explained.

"Yeah, I do help Trinity with their projects on occasion." Todd added. "Especially with the programming. Besides, this thing might be booby-trapped. Gotta make sure."

"Good idea, Toad." Shipwreck nodded. "...you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Hell yeah!" Todd laughed. "I got this on lock, yo!"

"Hope so, shorty." Shipwreck said.

"You should have more confidence in him, Shipwreck." Xi told the sailor. "He can handle himself."

"Yeah, people do tend to forget that my Toddles has quite the brain behind those pretty boy looks." Althea smiled proudly. Shipwreck chuckled.

" _Alllllll,_ not in public!" A blushing Todd groaned. _I'll never get used to that...or her calling me a pretty boy. I have no idea what she sees in me..._ "Just watch my back, yo!"

"You got it, babe." Althea smiled. She tapped Xi's shoulder and jerked her thumb at the crowd. "Let's make sure they don't bother Toddles here." Xi nodded.

"Of course, Althea." He said. Shipwreck then eyed the jukebox, and walked over to take a look. He looked at the musical selections.

 _Hmmm, look like some good tunes here. I wonder what's playing..._ He looked at the display, which showed the current song playing. Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll." _That's a good tune._ He glanced at the crowd acting crazy. Luckily, they weren't bothering Todd. But it did help that Althea and Xi were watching over him, and lightly pushing aside anyone that got a little too close.

"Okay, pal. Get back over there and go dance with your buddy." Althea joked as she lightly pushed a dancer back.

"Please step away." Xi said as he did the same. "My friend is doing very important work over there and must not be disturbed."

"The hell is up with your face?" The dancer asked.

Xi linked in confusion. "My face is fine and healthy." Meanwhile, an idea had struck Shipwreck. _Maybe choosing a song that's a little quieter will calm things down a bit..._ The sailor found the perfect song. _Ah, there we go!_ He switched the song to Patsy Cline's "Crazy."

"Hey!" One bargoer exclaimed. "Who killed Bob Seger?!"

"What duh hell is that?!" Another yelped.

"Yo, what's with the soundtrack change?" Todd added. "I like that song!"

"Just trying to calm everyone down." Shipwreck grinned. "I thought Patsy Cline would be a good way to do just that. Why don't I buy you all some drinks, eh? Round for everyone on me, bartender!"

"I would have preferred Dolly Parton myself." Althea muttered, gripping her staff tighter.

"I don't think they like that offer." Xi frowned, looking around.

"Funny, you'd think that this bunch would _appreciate_ a free drink!" Todd quipped as he continued to type. "If they get rowdy-!"

"We know, keep them off you, babe." Althea reassured. "We got this."

"I think Shipwreck is the one more in danger, Althea." Xi pointed out as the bar patrons advanced on the sailor.

"No kidding, Xi." Althea grumbled, getting into a battle stance.

"Hoo boy..." Shipwreck started to reach for his Desert Eagles in his holsters reflexively, but he managed to stop himself. These weren't Cobra soldiers or BATs. They were innocent people, victims of some unknown force. "Times like this I wish I picked up some fighting tricks from the ninjas..." One of the barflies leapt at the sailor.

"Good thing your _daughter_ has ninja training, then!" Althea snapped as she kicked the barfly away.

"Yeah, but you got yer old man's love of fightin'!" Shipwreck grinned as he punched out another barfly.

"Keep them off me!" Todd yelled as he hacked the device. A barfly approached him, but got tackled by Xi. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome!" Xi said as he laid out the barfly with a roundhouse kick to the head.

 **Elsewhere in Bayville**

Jinx sighed as he ended the transmission. With her were Logan, Blob, and Nightcrawler.

"What's up?" Logan asked the Japanese woman.

"Evidently Cyclops and Jean have had a bit of a spat, and she tossed him through a window."

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Logan grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You'd think _those two_ would be mature enough to handle this themselves, but noooo..." Meanwhile, Fred and Kurt were scanning around.

"You have something?" The blue German teleporter asked the powerhouse Texan.

"Yup." Fred nodded. "I'm picking up the waves from..." He pointed the scanner at a direction, and it beeped. He looked up, and a big grin formed on his face. "Oh, hell yeah."

"What?" Kurt looked in the direction that Fred was, and he blinked. "Oh. Right." It was a buffet restaurant.

"I had been _wanting_ to try that place ever since I first heard about it." Fred grinned. "I heard it had some excellent selection." He licked his lips. "Maybe after we check the place, I can treat myself to a nice light lunch..."

"Isn't a 'light' lunch for you heavy for everyone else?" Kurt blinked.

"I'm a big man. I eat big." Fred said. "Hey, guys!" He waved over at Jinx and Logan. "I found the gadget.

"Good work, Blob!" Jinx complimented. "Where is the device?"

"Right in the restaurant." Fred pointed in the buffet restaurant.

"Blob...are you going there because the machine is there, or is there food in there."

"No, the scanner picked up the machine in there."

"He is right." Kurt confirmed, looking at the screen.

"Well, we might as well take a look. Be ready for anything." Jinx warned. The four moved to the sides of the front door, Logan and Kurt on the left, Jinx and Blob on the right. The feral Canadian frowned.

"Is something wrong, Herr Logan?" A blinking Kurt asked.

"I hear somethin' weird going on in there."

"What do you mean weird?" Jinx asked.

"Maybe some kind of unholy ritual?" Kurt suggested. The blue-furred mutant shuddered at the thought of it.

"Knowing our luck, it'll just be a food fight." Blob shrugged. He then paled. "Oh no, they're going to waste all that perfectly good food."

"I doubt even _you_ can eat that much, Blob." Logan grumbled.

"Actually...he has." Jinx explained.

"That...does not surprise me."

"To be fair, they _were_ closing." Fred defended. "I helped clear out their fridges."

"God's sake..." Logan grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Let's just go in quietly, and be careful. Anticipate anything." Jinx warned. The four heroes carefully crept into the buffet restaurant. They picked up the noise. The red-clad ninja blinked. "I hear laughing."

"Yeah, it's weird." Logan nodded. The four moved closer into the building's main dining area...and they saw chaos.

"Oh, my God..." Jinx gasped.

"Huh." Kurt glanced at Fred. "You were right."

"Told you." Fred smiled. "It's a buffet restaurant. Makes the most logical sense." The Joe, Misfit, and two X-Men watched what looked like the mother of all food fights in the main restaurant area.

"Fred, can you find the device?" Jinx asked. She then ducked a cup of pudding. Kurt caught a banana and chowed down on it. Fred looked at his scanner.

"Yup." He caught an apple, and took a bite. "It's in the kitchen."

"We'll try to calm things down." Jinx said. "Fred, see if you can find the device."

"Okay, sure." Fred blinked. "Why me, though? Hacking machines ain't exactly in my skillset."

"Yeah, but you can likely get the machine out of here until we can get it shut off." Jinx explained.

 _ **SPLAT!**_

Logan got himself a faceful of pie, making the feral mutant grumble, Kurt wince, and Jinx and Fred chuckle. A smiling Jinx wiped some of the pie off Logan's face and tried it.

"Mmm, lemon meringue." The Japanese woman licked her lips. "It's good."

"Kind of sad if you ask me." Fred shook his head. "Waste of a perfectly good pie."

"Yeah, we're in mourning, Blob." Wolverine muttered as he wiped off the pie from his face.

"Okay, I'm gonna go in now, wish me luck!" Fred waved as he walked in, keeping his eyes on the scanner. He was hit by various foods, but it didn't bother him in the least.

"...We'd better calm things down." Jinx pointed out. "Make sure Fred doesn't get hurt."

"Jinx, the kid is what a M-1 Abrams would be if it were human." Logan reminded.

"BANZAI, BITCHES!" A man leapt at him carrying a ham, but Fred was, without even glancing in his direction, able to catch the man, knock him down harmlessly, take the ham, and start eating it.

"Thank you." Fred said as he walked into the kitchen.

"YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" A chef yelled as he spotted Fred. The hefty mutant blinked at the chef, then put the scanner in his pocket.

"Oh, hello." He waved.

"YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" The chef repeated, pointing a knife at him.

"Sir, I don't think you realize this, but you're not likely yourself right now..."

"I know who you are!" The chef yelled.

"Sir, I understand you may be hallucinating, but I'm not a monster."

"I saw things about you on TV! I know what you are! You're the Buffet Killer!"

"...Buffet Killer?" Fred blinked. He'd been called a lot of names in his life, many pertaining to his weight, but to be called some kind of serial killer...that's a new one. "I don't know who you think I am, but you clearly are not well...Why don't we just sit down and talk this out?"

"No!" The chef snapped angrily, brandishing a knife. Fred quickly tensed. An ordinary knife would not have harmed him, but others were another story. It was then that the large mutant noticed that this chef was seemingly the only one there. Wouldn't a buffet restaurant like this have many chefs working to feed the buffetgoers? He then recalled he saw a couple of the other chefs participating in the food fight. He picked up the scents of food still cooking in the stoves. _I'd better shut those off. It's_ _ **not**_ _a good idea to leave those stoves unattended like that..._

"Hey look, how about you put the knife down, and I go shut off those stoves? Not a good idea to leave them on like that..."

"NO! I know what you want!" The crazed chef roared. "You want to kill my job! Destroy my restaurant!"

Fred sighed. "Oh. This is about that buffet going out of business. Well, to be fair, that wasn't really my fault. The place was closing down anyway and-!"

"DIE!" The chef yelled, tossing the knife. It bounced off of Fred's chest.

"Okay..." Fred blinked. The chef brandished more knives.

"DIE!" He started throwing them at Fred. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It was starting to look comical. The chef's arms were blurs, and he seemed to have an endless supply of knives. Fred just looked down as they bounced off of him.

"Heh. That tickles." He chuckled. He then eyed something behind the chef. _Bingo! Found the gadget._ Fred started to walk towards the chef.

"KILL YOU! KILL YOU! KILLYOUKILLYOUKILLYOUKILLYOUSHOVEAKNIFERIGHTUPYOUR-!"

 _ **Bonk!**_

Fred knocked out the chef by lightly bonking him on the head. He went over to the stoves and ovens and shut them off. "There we go." He nodded in satisfaction. Fred then walked over to the voice and frowned in thought. _How am I going to shut this thing off?_ Meanwhile, the others were trying to deal with the chaos in the restaurant.

"This isn't right..." Kurt flipped out of the way of a pie, and knocked out a man twirling cold cuts. "Beating up regular people like this. This is not what the X-Men are about."

"Got no choice, Fuzzy." Jinx said as she judo-flipped another patron armed with some French bread. "If it helps, I'm not a fan of it, either."

Kurt sighed. "I suppose. I just hope they can forgive us for this..." He heard a familiar voice. "What?" He then saw something that made his jaw drop.

"IIIIII AM THE MIRACLE OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL!" Amanda Sefton sang as she danced on a table, a bowl of spaghetti on her head.

"Amanda!" Kurt yelped as he bounded towards here. "What're you doing here?!" She blinked for a moment as her addled brain tried to put together who was talking to her. When it hit her, a big grin formed on her face.

"KURTYYYYYY!" She grabbed the blue-furred mutant and glomped him. "KURTY KURTY KURTY KURTY KURTY!"

"Hi, Amanda." Kurt groaned. He quickly checked his earpiece to make sure it didn't fall off. If he lost it, he'd become just as crazy as everyone else here. Thankfully, the earpiece remained in place. _I have to give Trinity credit._ The German mutant thought. _Their devices are well made._ "What happened?"

"I don't know. I'm just so _happy!_ " Amanda whooped.

"Where are your parents?!" _This will be so awkward..._

"Uhm...I don't know..."

"Wunderbar..." Kurt grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fuzzy, the hell you doin'?!" Logan exclaimed as he dodged a pie. He then got hit in the face with another pie. "WHO KEEPS THROWING THESE?!"

"It's Amanda!" Kurt exclaimed. "She's here, and she's gone mad!"

"Come on, Kurt! Dance with me! Don't you hear the music?!" Amanda laughed as she tugged at Kurt's hands.

"Uhhhh, no thanks Amanda, I'm kind of 'on the job' right now."

"Oh, come on! The music is awesome!"

"Amanda, where are your parents?"

"My whut?"

"Parents! Where are your parents?!" Kurt asked loudly, hoping to get through to his girlfriend. Amanda blinked.

"No parents! Came here with friends!" Amanda grinned. "It was yummy yummy lunch time!"

"Nightcrawler, what's up with her?" Jinx asked.

"Evidently, she and some friends went out for lunch, and then this all happened."

"GET OFF OF ME!" Logan roared as he tried to pull off a bunch of little kids that were attacking him with utensils. Another pie hit his face. "OH COME ON! WHO IS THROWING THOSE?!" Jinx winced.

"Ah, I'd better go help Logan before he ends up doing something he's going to regret." The kunoichi muttered. Fred then emerged from the kitchen, carefully holding the device.

"I got the gadget!" Fred announced. "How do I shut it off?!"

"Can't you just smash it?!" Wolverine exclaimed as he used a judo throw to fight off a man armed with jello.

"I...don't want to make things worse." Fred admitted.

"He does have a point, hun." Jinx agreed as she knocked out another patron. "If he smashes it, he could create an explosion that could level this place."

"Aw, hell..." Wolverine grumbled.

 _ **Splat!**_

Another pie to the face.

"WHO KEEPS THROWING THOSE?!" Logan roared.

"YAHHHH!" A man charged towards Fred, holding up a loaf of French bread over his head like it was a sword. The large mutant just blinked in confusion.

"Okay..." Fred said. Kurt would save him by blocking the strike...with his own loaf of French bread.

"En garde, mein friend!" The blue-furred German mutant taunted playfully, doing a fencing pose.

"Uh, Nightcrawler? You still with us?" Fred asked in concern. "You still got your earpiece in?"

"Ja." Kurt nodded. "I just never had an opportunity to do anything like this before."

"How'd you learn to fence?"

"I watched Errol Flynn movies...and there's fencing tutorials on YouTube." Kurt explained as he deftly dodged a swipe from the man he was fighting.

"Huh." Fred thought. "There's a YouTube tutorial for everything, it seems like."

 **Back at the bar**

The brawl had continued on, but the Toad kept on hacking. The others had managed to fight off the crazed patrons and bartender. Some had fled, others laid unconscious.

"That was more challenging than I suspected." Xi frowned, moving his arm to make sure his shoulder was alright. "Perhaps we should dedicate more time to training our skills."

"To be fair, Xi, we were fighting innocent people who had their minds scrambled." Althea reminded. "We couldn't use a whole _lot_ of force. I think we did well, considering what we got stuck with." Shipwreck had gone behind the bar, looking over at the drink selections.

"Hmmmm..." The sailor scratched his chin in thought. Althea frowned.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing?"

"Just lookin', kiddo."

"Shipwreck, you are on duty." Xi reminded. "This is no time to get drunk."

"Ah, I'm just lookin', kiddo." Shipwreck waved the former Cobra experiment off. "Hmmm..." The Navy SEAL picked up a bottle and looked it over. "Surprisingly good selection here."

"Thanks for keeping them off my back, yo." Todd said as he continued typing.

"Hope you made some progress, Toddles. Once these people wake up, this'll start all over again." Althea warned. Todd quietly sighed as he continued typing. He _really_ wished Al wouldn't call him that in public...

"Well, prepare to be happy, babe." Todd grinned. "I just shut this one down."

"A shame you cannot shut them all off from here." Xi remarked.

"Yeah." Todd nodded. "We don't even know how many of these things there are." Todd muttered. "If these things have a master control center, maybe I can shut them all down there."

"Well then, I say we get out of here and continue the search." Shipwreck suggested.

 **Elsewhere in Bayville**

"I am the King of the Squirrels!" Dunan Matthews whooped as he ran down a street, his pants tightly tightened around his head. They blocked his eyes, so he was unable to see. "I am the Master of the Horsiiiiiiii..." He fell down an open manhole.

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like we saw some action and madness in the mighty marvelous Misfit manner! What insanity will happen next? Can the heroes shut down the devices? Will they be able to stop the Hypno-Hustler and his plans?! Find out in the next chapter!**_


	7. Let Chaos Reign!

**X-Men, Meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!**

 **Disclaimer: "Remember when you had to rely on stuff like a box?" - Pat the NES Punk**

Chapter 7: Let Chaos Reign!

 **Bayville Arena**

" _Come on baby, tell me what's the word? Word Up!_ " The Hypno-Hustler sang as the Mercy Killers put out a cover of the Cameo song. The crowd were lost in his voice, singing along and dancing, having a general good time. The device on the stage rig doing its job: Addling their minds and making them vulnerable to the singer's real goal.

Angar the Screamer and Screaming Mimi walked the crowd, toting some large sacks. Their own sonic abilities gave them protection from the effects of the Hustler's sonic manipulator, but he still insisted they wear special earplugs. Cannot be too careful after all. The two supervillains grabbed wallets, purses, jewelry. Purses and wallets were emptied of cash and credit cards, and dumped in the bag.

"Gotta admit, Mimi!" Angar grinned triumphantly as he tossed an empty wallet aside. "This is one hell of a score!"

"Oh yeah, baby!" Mimi whooped. She reached into her bag and pulled out a necklace. "Look at this! I'm keeping this necklace! It's a gorgeous necklace!"

"Hmm..." Angar pulled out a random ring from his bag and examined it. "Looks like a class ring." He put it on. "Heh. Look, Mimi! I graduated college!" She glanced at the ring.

"Somehow babe, I doubt you seem like the type to attend MIT." Mimi snarked.

"Never judge a book by its cover, Mimi." Angar advised sagely. "Hey!" He got knocked aside by a dancing concertgoer. "Okay, she nearly hit my eye!"

"Yeah, that can be annoying. But it'll be worth it when we get all this loot appraised EEK!" She felt a hand goose her. "Okay, that was on purpose! Who did that?!" She whipped around and clocked the man behind her, making him crumple down to the ground like a falling house of cards.

"Mimi, you are aware these people are addled in the head, right?" Angar winced.

"Feh. See if I care." Mimi snorted. She looked down at her bag and picked out a necklace. "This necklace is nice...I'm keeping it." She put it on. "I'm hoping the Hustler keeps his word."

"Me too, babe. If he's smart, he will."

 **Somewhere in Bayville**

"Somewheeeee over the rainbowww..." Duncan sang as he danced down the street. Or, at least tried to. His clothes were torn, his body covered in cuts and bruises, and his hair was completely disheveled. He seemed to be completely ignorant of the immense pain he was in. Considering he was one of the many citizens of Bayville currently addled by the Hypno-Hustler's machines all over town, this was not surprising. After managing to climb his way out of the manhole, the mentally-addled jock wandered his way into a crowd of bikers. It did not end well for the blond youth.

Much like Duncan, another citizen of the city was also a victim of the Hypno-Hustler's devices and their mind-altering abilities. This citizen was Gerry Kowalski. He was a rookie officer of the Bayville Police Department. Fresh from the academy, Kowalski came from a family of cops. He was the fourth generation of the family to wear a badge. And he wanted to do his parents proud.

His mind was addled, and as such, so was his judgment. As such, when he saw Duncan Matthews, he didn't see a teenager in trouble. Kowalski saw something terrifying. As a boy, his parents once watched the film _It._ Unbeknownst to them, young Gerry had peeked into the room in a bout of innocent curiousity. Seeing Pennywise do what he did best terrified the then-young boy, and left him with a very big fear of clowns.

And a clown was what his hallucinating mind had been seeing in place of Duncan. The monsterous clown grinned at the policeman, mimicking Duncan. The jock's addled mind didn't register Gerry Kowalski as himself. Instead, Duncan saw a giggling sexy woman dressed in a stripper version of a police uniform.

"Heyyyyy, Officer Gorgeous." Duncan's grin was lecherous. "How'd you like to solve a crime?" The hallucination giggled.

An addled cop notices him and freaks out, thinking he's a evil clown. "I'm the Boogeyman! And I'm comin' to getcha!"

"Uhhhhhhh..." Kowalski whimpered in fright.

"I got this...this...what was I saying?" Duncan mumbled.

"Nnnnnnnn..." Kowalski started to shake in fear. He had heard about Bayville. He remembered when he was told to he'd go there after graduation. A couple of the trainers burst out laughing. Some of them looked at him with pity. He never understood why until he heard the rumors. Bayville was a madhouse. It swarmed with mutants. Some of the rumors were less kind, painting the idea that they were crazed monsters straight out of horror movies, terrorizing people with their powers simply because they could. The young cop fumbled around with his belt. He needed a weapon. He needed a weapon to deal with this clown.

" _I'm gonna make pretty little balloon animals out of your intestines!"_

" _Come here and give me a kiss, sexy!"_

"I'm gonna give you the biggest kiss everrrrr, bay-beeee!" Duncan staggered towards the cop. Kowalski managed to grab his baton.

"Get away from me! Get away from me, you painted psycho! GET AWAY!" The terrified police officer screamed, swinging his baton like a stereotypical caveman swinging an equally stereotypical club.

"Hey, baby! What's with the baton there OW OW OW!" Duncan wailed as Kowalski wailed on him with the baton.

 **The biker bar**

"Well, that's this one shut down." Todd said as he examined the device. "Now we gotta find the others."

"One down, God knows how many more to go." Althea sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "God, I hate doing ops like this with practically no intel."

"Sometimes Althea, you gotta improvise." Shipwreck advised, still looking over the bottles in the bar He picked one up and scowled at it. "Sheesh, that stuff is terrible..." He put it back where he found it.

"We should call the others." Xi suggested. "They may have found other devices that we can shut off."

"Good idea, Xi." Althea agreed with a nod. "We should get on that." The aquakinetic looked around at the unconscious bodies of the patrons around her. "Hopefully they'll be alright." Meanwhile, Todd got to work, calling around for anyone else.

"I got Jinx, yo!" He announced. "She, Wolverine, Blob, and Fuzzy are at the Old Country Buffet restaurant."

"The one on Smith Street?" Shipwreck said. "They got great breakfast pizzas there."

"Yes, they are quite delicious..." Xi licked his lips as the memories of eating said pizzas returned to him.

"Yeah, well, Blob has found another of the devices, yo." Todd announced. "It's at the buffet place." He then started to laugh. "It gets even better. You know Fuzzy's girlfriend?"

"Sefton? Yeah, what about her." Althea recalled.

"She's there, too! Dancing up a storm!" Todd grinned. Althea laughed.

"Oh, we _have_ to see that!"

"We'd better get going, then." Xi suggested. He glanced at Shipwreck. "We have to go now!"

"Yeah, good idea." The sailor agreed with a nod. _Besides, the drink selection here is terrible!_

 **The buffet restaurant**

"Come on, Amanda..." Kurt sighed as he tried to get the girl off of him. She had gotten...a bit glompy.

"Wheeeee!" She whooped. She nuzzled her fuzzy boyfriend. "You're so soft and fuzzy..."

The German mutant sighed and put her in a booth seat. "Anybody got a rope or something?"

"I don't have a rope, but I got something that'll help." Jinx offered. She pulled out a small dart from a compartment in her belt.

"What is that?" Kurt asked. Jinx just smiled and poked Amanda with the dart. The black/Romani girl smiled dreamily and swayed.

"Hee, hee. Sleepy..." Amanda closed her eyes and slumped over. The German mutant's eyes widened.

"Amanda?!"

"Don't worry, it's just a tranquilizer." Jinx reassured. "She's just taking a nice trip to Dreamland."

"Buhhh, gahmacaronicheese..." Amanda mumbled. Jinx saw Logan wipe some more pie from his face. "Having some trouble?"

"When I find the little mother&%$*&( who keeps throwing pies at me..." The Canadian feral mutant grumbled as he grabbed some napkins and wiped off his face.

"That's all fine and dandy, but I still have the gadget here, and we can't shut it off." Fred reminded, gesturing at the device in his hands with his head.

"I just contacted Toad." Jinx said, pointing at her Joe-Com. "He and his group found another one of those things at this dump bar."

"Hmm, I think I know what bar he's talking about..." Logan frowned in thought.

"He's been able to shut the device at the bar down." Jinx announced.

"I never thought I'd say this, but...way to go, Toad!" Kurt whooped, pumping a fist in the air.

"How did _Toad_ manage to pull _that_ off?!" Logan exclaimed in surprise.

Fred shrugged. "Todd's pretty good with electronics."

"Yeah, he's quite the hacker." Jinx confirmed. "He's on his way to take a look at that thing."

"Great, can I put it down now?" Fred pleaded.

"Sure, but gently." Jinx ordered.

"Thank God." Fred muttered as he carefully put the machine down. The group heard a _**FWASH**_ sound outside, and Todd walked in. Althea, Shipwreck, and Xi followed him inside.

"Whoaaaaa, yo!" Todd chuckled as he looked around. "You guys had one hell of a party."

"Party. That's what he calls it." Wolverine grumbled.

"I gotta say, Wolverine. I utterly envy your talents for starting a brawl, man." Shipwreck grinned, throwing an arm over the feral Canadian's shoulders. He then noticed Logan's face. "Sheesh, what happened to you?"

"...pie. Lots of pie." Logan grumbled.

"Poor Logan here kept getting pelted with pie." Jinx chuckled. Althea noticed Amanda sleeping soundly in her booth.

"Is she alright?" The water manipulator asked.

"Ja, she's just taking a nap for now..." Kurt nodded.

"Heehee...fuzzygrilledcheese..." The snoozing Amanda mumbled.

"I think the stuff Jinx used to knock her out may have some side effects..." Kurt looked at Amanda with some worry, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Can you shut this thing off?" Fred asked.

"Yup." Todd nodded. "Just let me take a looksee..."

"I still cannot believe that the _Toad_ is a talented hacker." Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

"I think Wanda was the first to discover it." Jinx recalled. "When she went off to go find Magneto on her own..."

"Yeah, I helped her discover he was still alive, and she _still_ never thanked me..." Todd muttered under his breath.

 **The skies over Bayville**

"Hhmph." Jean Grey snorted as she soared over the skies of Bayville. "I don't get what's gotten into Scott. He's never been this paranoid before." She figured as long as she was in the air, she'd get a look around.

 _I don't get why he's so out of his mind about the Starchild._ Jean thought in confusion. _Yeah, Paul Starr is a Misfit and all, but he's so...sweet. He's genuinely lacking in being malicious. Makes me wonder how a bunch like the Misfits were able to recruit him._ Her reverie was interrupted by screaming. "Huh?" She stopped and turned her head around, using her mental powers to help herself home in on the source. "Where is that coming from?"

"Get 'em off! Get 'em off! Get 'em off of meeee!" She heard Warren Worthington III scream, and it made Jean gasp.

"Warren!" Jean yelped as she looked around. She then found the high-flying Angel in a bit of a predicament.

"Get them off get them off BRRABUHLJAHSHFEWUFAUE!" Warren was flying around wildly...because someone had put electric eels on him.

"Oh, God!" Jean gasped. Using her telekinetic power, Jean was able to get the eels off of the winged mutant.

"Thanks." Warren panted. "I don't know how much more shocks I could take from those things."

"How did that happen to you?!"

"How do you think?! People here have gone nuts! Well, more nuts than normal." The blond man then realzied something. "How's my earpiece?" Jean quickly checked it over.

"It...seems to be intact..." Jean blinked. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Warren shrugged.

"These eels must have come from the Aquarium." Jean noticed. "We'd better put them back."

"Hope the tank they were in wasn't smashed." Warren said as he and Jean headed in that direction. It was there that they heard music being played. "What is that? A concert?"

"Right now?!" Jean blinked. "The town's become a madhouse, and someone's holding a concert?!"

"Wait..." A memory came back to the winged mutant. "Didn't two of the Misfits and Multiple say something about a concert..."

"Oh, right!" Jean Grey remembered. "They believed the band performing had something to do with what was going on here."

"Well Red, I say we go check it out." Warren suggested.

Jean nodded in agreement. "Good idea. But first, we gotta get these eels back home."

"After their nearly frying me? I'm content to let 'em rot." Angel grumbled as they flew towards the Bayville Aquarium.

"Be fair, Angel. They couldn't help themselves. They thought you were food." Jean smiled. "Funny enough, electric eels aren't actually eels. They're technically knifefish."

"I'm sure that's really important right now." Warren rolled his eyes. After the two mutants flew back to the aquarium and placed the eels back in their tank, they flew back to the concert...after obtaining a pair of binoculars on the way. "You don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to know this band has something to do with all this madness."

"We'll have to check it out, but do it carefully." Jean said. "Let's see if we can get the others over here..."

 **Elsewhere in Bayville**

Kitty, Rogue, and Remy walked towards a hotel. Kitty was carrying a small tricorder-like device in her hands.

"Yeah, the device is in here." The brunette mutant announced, as the device started beeping. "Like, I gotta give Trinity credit. This detector is really good."

"Yeah, they sure can build some nice gadgets." Rogue rolled her eyes. "So, the gizmo making everyone crazy is in there?"

"Yeah." Kitty nodded. She heard a crash. "Hoo boy. Must be guests."

"Yeah." Rogue nodded. "Wonderful. More crazies."

"Like Bayville wasn't already de center of madness in upstate New York." Remy grumbled.

"Well, we better, like, find that gadget and shut it off." Kitty told her two compatriots. "And totally fast! Before someone ends up killed."

"I AM THE CHICKEN!" A guest yelled as he ran out of the building...wearing only his boxer shorts and covered in feathers.

"The hell...?" Remy blinked in confusion. "Wait, never mind. Forget Gambit asked."

"My eyes..." Kitty moaned. Rogue rolled her eyes and took Kitty's scanner.

"How about Ah fly around and scan for the device?" Rogue said. "You two try to calm things down."

"Yeah, okay." Kitty nodded in agreement. "Like, that's a good idea. Come on, Remy." The phasing mutant went on ahead, not realizing Gambit was not following her. He glanced at Rogue.

"And by the way Remy..." Rogue glared at the Cajun. "Try _not_ to hit me with any more shock nets."

"Come on, chere." Gambit groaned "You aren't _still_ mad about de shock net thing, are you?"

"Oh, gee." Rogue rolled her eyes. "You threw a net on me that electrocuted me. Tell me why Ah should _not_ be mad at you about that?"

"It was an accident!"

"And that's another thing!" Rogue noted. "If you weren't trying to drop the net on me, then what were you doing up there on the roof with it?!"

"...trying to catch butterflies?" Remy grinned. "Beast wanted me to catch some for a science thing?"

Rogue shot the Cajun mutant a look that indicated that she was not buying it. "Yeah, because you need a _fishing_ net to catch butterflies. Why were you trying to shock Paul with that net?!"

"...it was a prank?"

Rogue glared. "What the hell is your deal with him?!"

"What was _your_ deal?" Remy frowned. "Remy never saw you sing like that before." Rogue shrugged.

"Paul suggested Ah should. He thought Ah'd have a nice singing voice. Turns out he was right." She then realized something...and burst out laughing.

"What? _What?!_ "

"Ah don't believe it!" Rogue cackled. "You're jealous!"

"...bull." Remy snorted.

"Yeah, you're jealous." Rogue cackled. "Ah sang with the Starchild, and you are so jealous!"

"...Remy just...worried."

"So you thought you'd throw a shock net at him." She shook her head. "You are a world-class dope, Remy."

"Like, Gambit! Give me a hand here!" Kitty snapped. Rogue continued laughing as she flew away. Gambit grumbled, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and started to walk into the hotel, when he heard a humming noise. He turned and saw Scott and Paul riding up in a scooter.

"Nice scooter, Scott." Gambit chuckled as the two mutants dismounted.

"Hi, Gambit!" Paul waved.

"Uh, hey." The Cajun mutant waved. "Hey, Starchild. Why don't you go give the _chat_ a hand in helping those people in de hotel?" Paul blinked in confusion.

"The wha...oh, right. Kitty. Yeah, sure." He ran into the hotel. Remy then glanced at Scott, who looked a bit sour.

"What happened to you? Where's Red?"

"She flew off in a huff." Scott grumbled. He glared at Paul as he ran into the hotel. "I'm beginning to see why he annoys you so damned much."

"Did he talk the whole way here?"

"No, it was actually pretty quiet." Scott admitted. "He did mention that he wants to form a rock band. Considering that little concert he and Lance threw earlier..." He chuckled. "An all-mutant rock band. Like that will get anywhere."

Remy rolled his eyes. "Dat whole t'ing. turned Rogue into Dolly Parton."

"Yeah, that." Scott nodded. "Rogue's got quite the singing voice."

"Yes, she do. What does dat have to do with anything?"

"Just observing." Scott shrugged.

"Still, we need to _do_ something about de Starchild."

"Like what? Put him in a box and mail him to Abu Dhabi?" Scott snarked with a frown, crossing his arms.

"Remy don't know!" Remy snapped, throwing his arms up. "Just somethin'! Dat Starchild givin' Gambit a headache!"

"I don't know..." Scott sighed.

"T'ink about it, mon ami." Remy said. "It was because of him dat you are in de doghouse wit' Jean right now, non?"

"Remy, believe me. I would love to kick Starchild's head in right now, but we got a bigger problem at the moment. The town going crazy, remember?"

Rogue then noticed the two while she was flying around.

"HEY!" The Gothic Belle yelled. "THE HELL ARE YOU TWO YAHOOS DOING DOWN THERE?!"

"Sorry, Rogue!" Scott waved up at her.

"IT'S GONE INSANE IN THERE! GO HELP SHADOWCAT AND STARCHILD!"

"What're _you_ doing up there?!" Scott asked.

"AH'M LOOKIN' FOR THE GIZMO CAUSING THIS MESS!"

"Fair enough! We're going! Call us when you find it!" Scott hollered as he and Gambit ran inside. _Man, we_ _ **really**_ _have to stop this drama from distracting us like this. Do the Fantastic Four have this problem?!_ Rogue snorted as she watched them run inside.

"Idiots. Ah am surrounded by idiots." She shook her head and went back to scanning. The device started to beep when she pointed it at the building. The Southerner grinned. "Jackpot." She flew up to the window and sighed. "Man, Ah wish there was an easier way to do this." She cocked back her fist.

 _ **KRESH!**_

The power-absorbing powerhouse punched through the window. She sighed.

"Maybe we can convince the hotel after this is all over to send the repair bill to SHIELD. God knows the look on Nick Fury's face would be priceless..." Rogue snickered as she flew inside. Meanwhile, inside the hotel's pool area, Paul Starr was dealing with a rather angry poolgoer.

"Oh, dear..." He mumbled.

"I WANT MAH SAUCE!" The fat balding man in a pair of black-and-blue trunks roared in rage as he swung a folded umbrella around.

"Okay sir, let's put down the umbrella..."

"I WANT MAH SAUCE!" He screamed. "I WANT MY %&$^$% SZECHUAN SAUCE!"

"I'm sure we can get you your sauce..."

"I WILL DESTROY THIS BUILDING WITH MY ANGER UNTIL I GET MAH MULAN SAWWWWWCE!" The man roared angrily as he grabbed a deck chair and tossed it at Starchild. The young mutant was able to grab the chair and put it down. The man then grabbed another chair and tossed it into the pool.

 _I could try using my hypnosis on this guy..._ Paul thought as he deftly dodged another deck chair. _Despite my dislike of using that power, I doubt that I could get this guy to stay still long enough for me to make him take a nice long nap to Dreamland._ He caught another one and put it back. "Come on, man! You can get the sauce in a supermarket!"

"IT'S NOT THE SAAAAAAME!" The man roared, smashing a deck chair on the ground.

"Okay, that's really not cool." Paul frowned. "That's hotel property."

"YOU'RE HOTEL PROPERTY, PUNK!"

"Okay, maybe you need a nap..." Paul's eye started to glow a soft purple as he approached the man slowly. "Just look into my eye, sir. Call me Mr. Sandman, because I'm going to make you dream..."

The man blinked. "The heck you doin'? Are you tryin' to propose marriage?"

"Nope." Paul continued walking towards him.

"I'm gonna beat your ass, punk! I AM A MAAAN!" The man charged at Paul, who only rolled his eyes.

"People are so insecure these days." Paul sighed. He sidestepped the man, causing him to run past the young mutant.

 _ **WHAM!**_

"Ughhhhhh..." The man moaned as he ran face-first into the wall. He then fell backwards, out cold. Paul blinked at this and shook his head.

"That's pretty sad, man." He then heard a racket. "Huh?"

"IIII AM THE CHICKEN KING!" A man ran in dressed as a giant chicken with a crown on his head.

"Oh, dear..." Paul sighed.

"FEEEARRRR MEEEEEE BOK BOK BOK-!"

 _ **Clank!**_

A long wooden pole clonked the Chicken Man in the back of the head, knocking him out. Kitty Pryde sighed and wiped her brow.

"Like, I've been chasing that guy all over the lobby."

"Thanks, Kitty!" Paul waved gratefully.

"No prob!" She waved back with a pant. "I've been, like, chasing this clown all over the hotel."

"Wow." Paul said. "We have to find these devices and fast."

"Yeah, the sooner we can shut this stuff down, the better." Kitty nodded.

"OH YEAH!" A voice yelled. The two turned around and saw a muscular man wander in, swinging a barbell around. "LET'S WORK OUT!"

"Hey, look at that." A grin spread on Paul's face as he pointed at the gym rat. "It's Super Macho Man from _Punch-Out._ " Kitty blinked for a minute, but then brightened when she got what Paul was saying.

"Ohhh, yeah..." Kitty nodded. "Like, I think it's the tan, and the totally ridiculous mullet."

"BURN THEM CALORIES!" He swung the barbell at the two mutants.

"Whoa!" Paul yelped as he flipped over the barbell, while Kitty let it pass right through her.

"Like, HEY!" Kitty exclaimed. "What was _that?!_ "

"BUILD THAT MUSCLE! BURN THAT FAT!" The man whooped.

"Somehow, I doubt you got all those muscles from lifting." Kitty frowned.

"BRING THE PAIN! YOU GO GIRL!" The gym rat swing his barbell around some more.

"Sorry, sir." Paul apologized sincerely, his eye starting to glow.

 _ **Fzzzzzap!**_

Paul fired a laser from his eye, hitting the man's foot. The gym rat howled and dropped his barbell. He started jumping up and down and grabbing his foot, making a rather comical scene. Paul and Kitty looked at each other. The two young mutants then raced up to the man, jumped into the air, and hit the man with a double dropkick, sending him flying into the wall and out cold.

"Totally stellar!" Paul grinned, hi-fiving Kitty. "Stellar to the max!"

"Your slang is totally outdated." Kitty noted.

"Coming from a Illinois girl who talks like a Valley Girl." Paul countered in a teasing manner.

Kitty opened her mouth to object, but then closed it. "...fair point." The two then heard a beeping. They both checked their communicators. Kitty nodded. "It's mine. Hello?"

"Ah found it!" Rogue announced. "Ah found the machine!" At this moment, Scott and Remy were dealing with some unruly guests at the hotel's bar.

"Figures we'd end up in a barfight!" Scott grumbled as he dodged a chair and blasted it out of the angry barhopper's hands.

"They stole muh drink!" The barhopper yelled.

"Yeah, yeah. Good for you." Scott punched him out.

"Dis brings back some memories." Remy grinned as he dodged a barhopper's attack, and then flipped him over with his staff.

"...you were in barfights?"

"Remy seen his fair share back home in New Orleans." Remy explained. "One of de members of de Thieves Guild ran a bar."

"Wait, a member of the _Thieves Guild_ ran a bar?"

"It was a front for fencing." Remy explained.

"Ah, that makes sense." Scott nodded, then judo-flipped another barhopper.

"Did some good legit business, though. Especially around Mardi Gras."

"...that...also makes sense."

"Anyway, when Remy was younger, de owner would let dis Cajun heartthrob hang out at de bar. He no let Remy drink. He liked his liquor license. But others would, and sometimes de tempers would flare..."

"And brawls would break out." Scott finished.

"Bingo." Remy knocked another couple of barhoppers. "Although when Remy was eight, he saw a really interesting barfight." He ducked a woman armed with a broken bottle, then used his staff to toss her into a group of men. "Dis wannabe voodoo sorcerer got dis book of spells off de Internet, and ended up accidentally summoning dis gator monster. It burst its way into de bar, got drunk, and you can guess what happened next."

 _Oh God, and I thought Blob's family stories were the stuff of nightmares!_ Scott thought as he fought off another barhopper. _I **still** am struggling with the concept of Aunt Ralph..._

"Yeah, dis brings back some of the ol' fond memories..." Remy smiled as he acrobatically dropkicked a barhopper. Before they knew it, Scott and Remy manged to either knock out or sent everyone in the bar scattering.

"Huh." Scott noticed all the downed brawlers. "I have to admit, I needed that right now."

"You did?" Remy asked. Scott nodded.

"Yeah, between this madness and the stuff with Starchild, I kind of needed to break a few jaws right now." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't be thinking like this right now."

"Gambit don't blame you. Dis why Gambit think we should do something about de Starchild after dis crisis is over.

"Hmmm..." Rogue thought, a frown on her face as she looked the gadget over. "Gotta admit, a broom closet is a rather odd place to put this thing." _Ah don't think it would be a good idea for me to just smash this whatchamajig..._ She activated her X-Com.

"Hello?" Kitty Pryde's voice

"Ah found it! Ah found the machine!" Rogue said. "But Ah have no idea how to shut it off!"

Kitty looked up at Paul. "She found it, but like, she can't shut it off!"

"Ah, geez." Paul sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "That's not my thing. Maybe if Mainframe were here, he'd know how to hack it." Static erupted from Kitty's X-Com. "Huh?"

"What the-?!" The phasing mutant blinked and tapped her X-Com. "Uh...did this thing just break?"

"Aw, you gotta be kidding me!" Rogue grumbled, tapping her X-Com. "Hunk of junk!"

"Hey there, Rogue!" Todd's voice piped up.

"Toad, the hell you doin'?! Aren't we supposed to be on the same side these days?!"

"I managed to shut down a couple of the machines." Todd explained. "Sounds like you found one, huh?"

"Uh, yeah." Rogue blinked.

"I managed to hack one and shut it down. I may be able to use it to hack into the others and shut them down, too."

"How ya gonna do that."

"Hollywood Hacking, yo!" Todd joked. Rogue shook her head.

"How does Althea put up with you?"

"I make her laugh. Also, having my rugged good looks helps."

Rogue rolled her eyes at that. _Yeah, and Ah'm Dolly Parton._ "So, what if you _can't_ do it that way?"

"We'll have to do it the hard way then. I'll have to travel to each of the devices and shut them down there. Just pray that I can do it the easy way."

 **Bayville Stadium**

"My friend, I highly doubt that a baseball bat was meant for that." Henry "Hank" McCoy, the Beast, remarked as he dodged a swing from said sporting item, wielded by a baseball player who had painted his face in a black-and-yellow pattern.

"I'm going to shove this bat up your ass and make you a popsicle!" The wannabe-Baseball Fury growled.

"And that line was from one of the Warriors, not the Baseball Furies."

"YOU WON'T TAKE MY COOKIES, YOU BLUE MOTHERF%&$#%*!" The wannabe-Baseball Fury roared as he charged at the Beast. A local team was training when the insanity hit, and it turned them into essentially a version of the Baseball Furies. Beast, Berzerker, and Recondo were dealing with them.

"I take it this is not normal in Bayville." The jungle warfare expert noted as he blocked a baseball bat blow with his rifle, then whacked the Fury wielding it in the face with the butt of his weapon.

"Normally, no." Beast explained. Recondo saw something come towards the blue-furred mutant.

"Down!" He shoved Beast down, and fired his rifle.

 ** _Blam!_ **

The wannabe Baseball Fury went down. Beast gasped in shock.

"You killed that man!"

"Nope." Recondo smiled, pointing at the man's chest. Beast noticed a pair of darts sticking out of his chest. "Tranquilizers. They are civilians, after all."

 _This is insane!_ Ray thought as he looked around one of the dugouts, waving a scanner around. It was suggested that he be the one to actually locate the device causing the madness, as his powers had the potential to cause the most unintentional harm. _Where could this thing be?_ He frowned at the gadget, then looked at Beast and Recondo battling the Baseball Furies. He then sighed. _I get why they wanted me to find this thing, considering my powers and all..._ His thoughts then wandered to another thing that was bothering him.

 _Tabitha..._ He frowned while still scanning. _It took me so long to get up the nerve to ask her out on a date, and she ends up going gaga over Mr. Wannabe-Paul Stanley!_ Ray's scowl deepened, and his free hand formed a fist. _It isn't fair!_ His fist shook. _It's not fair at all! What did I do to deserve this?!_ Electricity ran up and down his shaking fist. _That jerk Starchild just comes in out of nowhere and makes the girls go bananas for him! It's like the universe wants to kick my head in!_

 _ **KA-ZAP!**_

With an angry scream, he zaps a water cooler in the dugout. His eyes widened and he quickly snapped his head around to the field where Beast and Recondo were still dealing with the Baseball Furies.

"Oops." The electrokinetic ex-Morlock mumbled. He then noticed the scanner beeping. "Huh?" He walked over to a locker room and saw the device in a corner. "Hey, I found it! Better tell Mr. McCoy..."

 **Bayville Auditorium**

 _ **Thunk!**_

"Hoo baby, look at this haul!" Angar grinned as he put the heavy sack of valuables on the table.

"Yeah." Mimi grinned. "I gotta hand it to the Hustler. This was actually pretty brilliant." She reached into a bag and pulled out a necklace. "Wow. This could set a wealthy family a bit back." She glanced at a stagehand who was sitting in front of a computer screen. "What're you doing there, tech-head?"

"Just monitoring the devices." He told the sonic-screaming supervillain. "Gotta make sure the town is still in chaos...Hmmm..." He frowned at the screen.

"What's going on?" Angar asked as he walked up to the man.

"You see those dots on the screen?" The tech asked, pointing at the screen.

"Yeah?"

"Those dots indicate the devices. They're all over town. One just went out."

"...which one?"

"The one at that seedy bar you two put in." The tech said. Angar frowned.

"Must be the X-Men and their Misfit pals." Angar realized. "Considering all the devices on the screen, it shouldn't be that big a problem. It would take time for them to shut them down. By the tie they're done, we'll be out of here and richer anyway."

"Still, we should keep an eye on this." Mimi suggested. "I _really_ don't like the idea of a whole mass group of mutants coming down on our heads."

"Hopefully, we'll be out of here before they show up." Angar said.

"Uh-oh..." The tech announced, making the two sonic-powered supervillains look up.

"Uh-oh?" Mimi repeated.

"That's not good..." Angar frowned.

"We got company." The tech said, pointing at the screen. It showed Jean and Warren flying towards the stadium. The two supervillains looked at the screen, and each other.

"Looks like we got a pair of wings to clip..." Mimi said.

 _ **Well, well, well! Looks like Jean and Warren have gotten themselves into a potential pickle! How will they get out of this one? Can Todd shut down the insanity inducers?**_


	8. The End!

**X-Men, Meet the Starr Brothers, Revamped!**

 **Disclaimer: "First, I have fun." - Nuclear Man, _Superman IV: The Quest for Peace_**

Chapter 8: The End!

 **Bayville Auditorium**

"We're going to have to go out there and deal with them." Mimi said.

"You got that right, babe." Angar nodded. "Hopefully, we can knock them out of action before their comrades come in."

"...wait..." The technician noticed something going on on his screen.

"What's going on?" Mimi asked.

"Somebody's trying to hack the devices." The tech's fingers flew across the keyboard, the klacking noises of the keys increasing in speed.

"Can it effect the device on the stage?" Angar asked.

"No, it's independent from the others you two placed all over town."

"Thank Heaven for small favors."

"I'll try and take care of this." The tech looked at the two villains. "I suggest you two go out there and take care of those two X-Men!"

"Yeah yeah, we're on it." Mimi waved him off.

 **At the biker bar**

Todd Tolensky was typing on his keyboard, hacking into the machine.

"Todd, we must go and make sure no one else gets harmed during this chaos." Xi piped up.

"I can't leave here, yo!" The amphibious mutant said.

"I got an idea." Shipwrecked suggested. "Maybe two of us can look around for more people in need, and one of us can stay here and guard Todd."

"I'll do it!" Althea raised her hand up quickly. "I'll stay behind and protect my Toddles!"

"Al, come on! We're on a mission!" Todd exclaimed, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

"I don't know..." Shipwreck frowned at his eldest daughter. "How do I know that you won't let those teenage hormones of yours cloud your judgment?"

"Oooh, look who is responsible of a sudden?" Althea rolled her eyes.

"I'm just saying..."

"I don't care who, just have someone watch my back!" Todd snapped.

"You know what? I'll stay here, while you two go look around." Shipwreck suggested.

"Oh, and how do we know _you_ won't stay here and get drunk?" Althea frowned.

"Oh ye of little faith..."

"You really think Shipwreck would be that unprofessional?" Xi blinked.

"You'd be surprised, Xi."

"Oh, I am not that bad!" Shipwreck rolled his eyes.

"He really isn't..." Todd admitted. "I mean, he's a Joe, yo. They're the best of the best. He wouldn't be on the team if he couldn't do his job."

"See?" Shipwreck grinned, gesturing at Todd. "I'm one of America's Elite, baby!"

Althea mock scowled at her amphibious boyfriend. "Who's side are you on?"

"My favorite side, babe: Mine." Todd joked back, shooting Althea a wide grin that made her smile.

"You're lucky you're cute."

"I know. One of my many talents."

 **Bayville Auditorium**

Jean and Warren flew over the area, watching the crowd dance, sing, and act crazy.

"How are we going to do this?" Warren asked.

"...I have no idea." Jean admitted. "We can't hurt these people. They're under some kind of mind control. They have no idea what they are doing."

"Can we use your TK to separate them?"

Jean put a finger on her chin. "I can...in theory, but that's a lot of people down there...and I'm not sure I have the power to keep them all separated." She frowned sadly at the crowd. "We can't just let these people act crazy like this."

"So, what do we do?"

"I...don't know." Jean admitted. "I don't know." The Hypno-Hustler had spotted the two mutants in the air.

"Ah, hell..." He muttered. "Where there's two, more of those crazy X-Men will show up..."

"Try calling for help, Jean!" Warren suggested. "We're going to need everyone down here to stop this mess!" His communicator crackled. "...Hello?"

"Howdy, yo!" Todd's voice piped up.

Warren frowned. "How did you get this channel, frog?"

"Toad." Todd corrected. "And I'm a hacker, yo."

"You. A hacker."

"Yup!" Todd said brightly. "Listen up! I think each of the devices has a central control center. If we can shut that down, we can shut down all the devices at once."

"That... _would_ be very helpful right now." Warren admitted.

"I think it's on or near that stage." Jean theorized, pointing at the stage.

"Makes sense." Warren agreed.

"I think so, too." Todd said. "You guys have to find it and shut it down."

"Well, if it _is_ there, it's going to be guarded." Jean noticed. "Not to mention all the crazy people own there dancing and doing God knows what."

"Can't Frogboy just hack it?"

"I can try to reprogram it, but I have limits, yo!" Todd exclaimed.

"Have you been trying to shut down the devices?" Jean asked.

"I haven't been sitting here whistling Dixie!" Jean could have sworn she was able to see Toad's giant grin. "I've been able to hack into the devices and shut them down. Took a while, though. These things got good security, but not good enough to foil me, the Terrific Toad!"

"'Terrific' is _not_ a word I'd use to describe _Toad._ " Warren muttered.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Angel." Jean advised. "Can you get the others to help us out?"

"I'll make the call, yo! Just hold down the fort!" Todd answered jauntily. "I may need some extra time to hack the main control if there is one. They may just have kept it unconnected with the others as a security measure."

"If they're smart, they would do that." Warren remarked. "Is the locator in your communicator active?"

"Of course."

 **The biker bar**

Todd ended the communication as he, Althea, Xi, and Shipwreck left the building. He then pulled out his light keyboard and tablet and started typing on it.

"You let them know, babe?" Althea asked.

"Yup, my little sea siren." Todd answered as he typed. "I am trying to shut down all the devices, but it would be easier if I can get into the main control panel."

"Huh. Didn't think some firewalls would be too much for you, Toad." Shipwreck remarked.

Todd shook his head. "It's not that, yo. The main control panel must be somehow kept separate from the others as as sort of security measure."

"Can that be done?" Xi asked.

"Yeah, it can be done." Todd answered. "I'll have to go to where it is in order to hack it."

"So, where is it?" Althea asked.

"Marvel Girl and Angel think that it may be at the stage where the Mercy Killers are performing." Todd explained. "The Bayville Auditorium."

"...Marvel Girl?" Xi blinked in confusion. "I thought Jean Grey did not have a codename."

"Evidently, the X-Men couldn't come up with one for her." Shipwreck recalled. "And we'd know if they did."

"Thank the Internet, yo." Todd smiled. "Somebody called her that as a joke, and it ended up sticking." He went back to his work. "Yeah, I can't get into the main device controlling the others. Definitely separated from the others."

"Makes sense." Shipwreck nodded. "If it _is_ the Mercy Killers behind this, they would want to make sure we'd have a tough time cracking their machines."

"Pretty much. I had a heck of a time cracking this one." Todd confirmed, jerking his thumb back inside the bar. "But that leaves another question: What do we _do_ with it now?"

"I say we transport it to Airtight." Shipwreck suggested. "He and Tripwire may know what to do with it."

"Tripwire?!" Althea exclaimed. "You think that thing's a bomb?!"

"You never know, Althea."

Xi frowned. "Isn't Tripwire infamous for his...awkwardness?"

"You mean _clumsiness._ " Althea corrected the artificial being. "Yeah, Tripwire is infamous for it."

"Oh, yeah." Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "Always tripping on things, knocking things over, knocking into people, the works. Funny enough, it goes away when he's defusing a bomb. Weird."

"Wouldn't be a Joe if he wasn't weird in some way." Althea muttered, rolling her eyes.

 **Bayville Auditorium**

"Friggin' X-Men..." Antoine grumbled as he and the band stuffed their loot into an armored truck. He noticed Mimi and Angar heading to the stage. "Where are you two going?!"

"We're going to get those two X-Men out of our hair!" Mimi told him. "The hell you doing?!"

"What you think?! I'm loading up the loot! If those X-Men shut us down, we gotta make like bananas and split!"

"You better not be holding out on us!" Mimi snapped.

"Your cut's in the truck!"

"Come _on_ , Mimi! Focus!" Angar snapped, dragging the woman behind him. The two made it to the stage, where they saw the two X-Men discussing the crowd situation.

"I'll hit them with an E first." Mimi told Angar.

"E? What does that note do again?"

"Dizziness and vertigo." Mimi told him. She opened her mouth and started to sing.

"Oogh..." Warren groaned, holding his head.

"Angel?" Jean blinked.

"I don't feel good...muh head..."

"What's wrong?"

"Ugh...m'dizzy...WHOA!" Warren seemed to tumble backwards in the air, his wings going wild. "Up! Which way is up?!"

"What the...?" Jean saw Mimi. Her mouth was open...and she was singing a tune. _She must be doing this!_ Eyes narrowed in determination, Jean dove towards Mimi.

"Watch this, babe." Mimi grinned, nudging Angar with her elbow. "I'll hit Red over there with a A." She then started singing in an A note.

"Oog..." Jean groaned and blinked. "What?! My eyes! My eyes!" Jean screamed and put her hands to her face. "MY EYES! I'm blind!"

"And now I'll hit her with a F."

"Ohhh..." Jean moaned, clutching her stomach. "I feel like I was in a centrifuge..."

"You really like F, don't you?" Angar asked.

"Heck yeah!" Mimi laughed. "You wanna have some fun with these brats?"

"Sure." Angar shrugged. "With _my_ sonic powers, I'll give them a nice fright." He started to wail.

"Uhnnn..." Warren moaned as he shook his head. "What happened? My head...feels like I got a case of...what the?!" The winged millionaire saw something fly towards. "Aw, no!"

"KREEEEEEEEE!" The green gargoyle screamed as it dove towards the Angel.

"The hell did _that_ thing come from?!" Warren exclaimed. "GAH!" The monster grabbed at the mutant and he found himself grappling with it. "God, this town is crazy!"

"KREEEEEEEE!"

"Yeah yeah, shut up!" Warren tried to punch the monster, but it no-sold the blow. _I_ _ **really**_ _have to look into getting some offensive weaponry. Maybe like a baseball bat or something..._ Mimi and Angar watched this battle. To them, and anyone else, it looked like Warren was grappling with the air.

"You have any idea what he's seeing?" Mimi asked.

"No idea." Angar admitted. "I'm not a telepath. But speaking of telepaths..." The two noticed Jean getting to her feet.

"Better take her down _fast!_ " Mimi snapped. Angar nodded.

"Give her a mix of G and High C." He told her.

"Headaches and hallucinations." Mimi smiled. "So I can harmonize with you. I love you."

"Ugh..." Jean glared at the two villains. She then glared at them. "Alright, you two! I'm going to make you both _really_ scream!"

"Sorry Red, but _we_ do the screaming here!" Mimi mocked. She and Angar blasted the redheaded mutant with their own sonic abilities before Jean could bring her powers to bear.

"AGH!" Jean screamed as pain racked her head, preventing her from concentrating. She tightly closed her eyes as she attempted to power through her headaches.

"Uh uh, Red." Angar smiled, waving his finger. "Young lady must open her eyes..." Jean did so, and she screamed.

"Get away! GET AWAY!" The redheaded mutant yelled as she saw monsters jump at her. She tried to duck and dodge their strikes from their clawed limbs and tails. "Where did these things _come_ from?!"

"We'd better make our exit, Mimi." Angar reminded.

"You got it!" The white-haired villainess agreed. The two then ran towards the truck containing their loot, noticing something odd. "What the-?!"

Antoine and the band were laid out, unconcious. The two saw a smirking Pietro strutting out from behind the truck.

"Didn't see me coming, huh?" The silver-haired speedster cockily leaned on the truck. "Your friends here certainly didn't." He held up a diamond ring and looked it over. "Pretty nice. I can certainly see why you guys would help yourselves to this."

"Kid, we just took down the redheaded telepath, and she's supposed to be one of the most powerful of you X-Clowns." Mimi mocked. "You really think that silver hair of yours makes you a tough guy?" Pietro chuckled.

"One thing, I'm not an X-Man. Never was." The silver-haired mutant smiled. "Also, the redheaded telepath lacks something I got." He gestured at the downed men. "I'm fast, baby."

"You faster than sound?" Angar sneered. Pietro theatrically made a face that indicated he was thinking about it.

"I think I may be." Pietro smiled. "But I also have something else." Xi made himself visible behind the two villains. He tapped Mimi's shoulder.

"Huh?" The villainess turned around...

 _ **Whack!**_

"Ungh!" Mimi grunted as she hit the ground.

"Mimi!" Angar gasped in horror.

 _ **Thuk!**_

A dart embedded itself in the activist-turned-supercriminal's neck. Angar blinked and pulled out the dart. He stared at it, but then started to sway, his face looking sleepy.

"Hee hee...sleepy time." He fell face-first to the ground. Jinx emerged from some shadows, a blowpipe in her hand, Wolverine with her.

"Huh." Wolverine blinked. "I can imagine the others finding that a bit anti-climactic."

"I'm a ninja, Logan." Jinx smiled as she put the blowpipe in a pocket in her uniform. "We're about getting the job done."

"A shame, really. I was expecting an epic brawl." Pietro looked around and then shrugged.

 _ **BAMF!**_

Nightcrawler appeared, carrying Toad.

"Can you find the master control?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, no problem." Toad nodded as he hopped away. "The others are helping Red and Wings, as well as those crazy people in the audience."

"I wonder what these guys were _thinking,_ coming here of all places." Jinx frowned, looking at the Hypno-Hustler and his bandmates.

"My guess? They were so bent on a big score they decided to take the risk." Logan shrugged.

"Well, if I were them, with the luck they got? I wouldn't go anywhere _near_ Las Vegas anytime soon." Jinx chuckled.

"Like that time you went to Vegas and got that guy's arm broken?" Pietro recalled. "No wonder they call you Jinx."

"Kid, remember what happened to Big Lob when he made that joke?" The Japanese woman glared at the speedster, whose face instantly went plane and face went gaunt.

"...IrememberJinxI'msorryJinx." The speedster whimpered.

 **The Xavier Institute, Later**

" _You shake my nerves and you rattle my brains!_ " Paul Starr sang as he sat at Storm's piano, then playing a riff. " _Too much love drive a man insane! You broke my will! But what a thrill! Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire!_ " Paul then started singing the Jerry Lee Lewis tune with Lance playing guitar and Craig playing bass. The young Misfit had the idea that after the craziness of this adventure, some steam needed to be let out. So, a constructive way to do it would be to throw a party.

"So, I take it that the malefactors were taken to the proper facilities?" Xavier asked as he wheeled up to Recondo.

"Yup." The jungle warfare expert nodded. "We helped the Guardsmen with that." He then chuckled. "Funny, I never heard some of the curse words Screaming Mimi was spewing out. I think she could make _Shipwreck_ blush. Although to be fair, all you'd need to do that is put the Windrider over there in a swimsuit."

"Oh, I can imagine." Xavier smiled in amusement. "I had quite an interesting life myself." He gazed at Paul and Craig, who were jamming with Lance. "Born entertainers, those two."

"Yup." Recondo nodded. "I had no idea Avalanche was that good a guitar player, too."

"I had heard they wanted to start a band." Xavier noted.

"An all-mutant rock band." Recondo blinked. "I can only imagine the controversy _that_ would cause."

"They could become pioneers." Xavier said. "Music can have amazing effects on people. It can inspire them. It can save them. Look at this..." He waved to the X-Men and Misfits dancing, hanging out, and having some fun. "Imagine that, but with regular humans."

"That's all fine and good, but..." Recondo frowned. "Being the first is dangerous. There are no shortage of people who want my boys dead because of what they are. Let's say they manage to do it. They become famous rock stars. Fantastic. That leads to a problem. They'll be in the public eye."

"They can use it to spread the message of human-mutant peace."

"It will also make them _targets._ " Recondo countered. "It will be harder to keep them safe."

"Indeed." Xavier said, closing his eyes and steepling his fingers in thought. "It is risky...but it is rather unfair to deny them their dreams simply because we fear for their safety."

"Yeah." Recondo nodded. "I've had those boys for a short time, but I have grown rather fond of them." He then noticed one of the X-Men was missing. "Hey, where'd Cyclops go?"

 _BZZZART! BZZART!_

Scott blasted some drones in the Danger Room with his optic beams. He deftly dodged one drone's attempt to blast him and it got some optic beams for its trouble. Another tried to slash at him, but it also got some optic blasts.

"Huh?" Scott blinked under his visor when he saw the drones retreat. "Who shut off the-?"

"I did." Jean Grey floated into the room.

"Oh. What's up?" Scott asked.

"What're you doing here?"

"Oh, just doing some training." Scott explained. "Felt a bit rusty."

"I think you handled yourself fine." Jean said.

"Still, gotta stay sharp." Scott pointed out.

"Storm told me once that a blade sharpened too fine will shatter." Jean recalled. "Scott, are you trying to avoid the party?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you aren't having fun with the others. You're here."

"I wasn't feeling up to partying." Scott admitted.

"Why not? We're all having a good time. It's actually...kind of nice." Jean smiled.

"If you say so." Scott shrugged. Jean sighed.

"Scott...we need to talk." The redhead said to him.

"...is this about the whole thing with that Starchild clown?"

"Scott, is he _really_ that far under your skin?" Jean smiled in amusement.

"I...I don't know." Scott admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "It's just...the way everyone seems to take to the guy. I just wonder why he'd hook up with the _Misfits_ of all people?"

"Well, to be fair, they _did_ find him first." Jean pointed out.

"Yeah, true..."

"And he's actually nice." Jean smiled. "He's also polite, too. How many Misfits are like that?"

"That's also true..." Scott admitted. _Is_ _ **that**_ _what's so irritating about him? That he's a Misfit that acts so...un-Misfit-like?_ "Maybe that's it. He's so...not your idea of what the Misfits would be like."

"I guess it had to happen sometime."

"Look Jean, I..." Scott rubbed the back of his head. "I am sorry about that whole blow-up earlier at the laundromat. I lost my head over that whole thing with the Starchild."

"It's alright." Jean smiled. "I suppose I did moon over him a bit. It's that rockstar mystique, after all."

"Of course." Scott rolled his eyes. His stomach started to grumble. "Hoo boy." He held his stomach. "I guess I'd better leave."

"Men." Jean playfully scoffed. "Always thinking with their stomachs."

"We are simple folk." Scott joked as the two left the Danger Room. "Is Starchild still jamming."

"Yes." Jean nodded. "His brother and Lance are playing with him."

"...I knew Alvers played guitar, but...yeah." Scott blinked as he heard the music. "...are they playing Elton John?"

"Island Girl." Jean confirmed with a nod. "Pretty good rendition, too."

"I'll say." Scott noted. "You think they know any Jackson Browne?" The Alaskan mutant had a fondness for the famous singer-songwriter, often listening to his music while he studied.

"I don't think they're the type that listens to him." Jean said.

"Oh, come on! 'Running on Empty'? Everyone likes that song!" Scott insisted. "It was in _Forrest Gump_ and everything!"

Meanwhile, Ray was leaning on a wall, arms crossed, a scowl on his face. He watched Paul, Lance, and Craig play. He wanted to rush the purple star-birthmarked boy, but remembered the beating he took last time he tried that stunt. He then glanced at Tabitha, who was happily clapping and dancing.

 _Unbelievable! Just unbelievable!_ The electrokinetic ex-Morlock mentally muttered. _I finally get to ask Tabitha out on a date, and then this whole thing happens!_ He glanced at Tabitha. _And he's got her under his spell..._ His glower darkened. _I've gotta do something about this..._

 _ **Thanks for reading!**_


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